Best lessons are not taught in class.

I thought we go to school because the most valuable lessons are taught in the classrooms. Surprisingly, I came to realise that many of the best and valuable lessons I learnt are taught outside the classrooms. That said, considering the course I am studying, we should not discount the credit academic teachers deserve for moulding our YOUNG minds.I am not very old, neither do I have A LOT of experience, but I have come to an age where i can comfortable qualify myself as a young adult. Let me share with you the top 3 lessons I learn outside of the classroom that are most valuable to me!

1) Whatever course you do, they offer all the relevant modules and majors you can think of, but personally, I think the most important one that they missed out is Connection-networking! It is something that cannot be taught in class, yet many intern opportunities, business deals, employment and promotions are depedent on it. Successful people have great connections that provide them with the opportunity to advance in their career! That said, never make friends with an intention. Be genuine in your friendships!

2) The greatest investor of your dreams is your family! I was taught in church to share and confess your dreams to people wisely because the words of others will either make or break you! In school, we flow with the communal belief that we should be popular in school where everyone is literally your friend. However, it gets tricky when it comes to creating your inner circle of close friends. You may share your dreams with your friends, but if you share it with the wrong friends, their sceptical nature may just extinguish all the optimism you stored up to chase your dream. Be wise with who you share your inner circle of friends because the school only teaches us to be a friendly student who is a friend of everybody.

3) This amuses me the most because despite its importance, I was never taught a single lesson on it in school. HOW DO YOU CHOOSE AND FALL IN LOVE? In the United States almost 50% of marriages end up in a divorce and I am sure the rate is increasing elsewhere. As I reflect back, i actually thought that a discussion session on this topic may be interesting, to get a view from the opposite sex! You cant blame me for coming from a boys school. I was in 4-5 relationships(serious) before and some ended well, some ended badly. One thing for sure is that I learnt new lessons about relationships and girls from every single one of those experiences.

I love schools and it is something that I am dedicating myself to study and go into in the near future. I believe that to make a better tomorrow, we should educate today. However, there are so much that is involved in what we call life that not all lessons are taught in class. These lessons can be learnt from our community and our parents. Unfortunately, the cruel reality of life is that there will be some who will miss out on some of these important lessons of life which they have to learn the hard way...

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The significance of family

Someone told me: When you took in your first breath, there were two things you got yourself into that were not your choice. You got yourself into THE WORLD and A FAMILY.

Christmas 2010 is all about family to me. Many might think the money used for traveling was wasteful, but to me it was all worth it. I really thank God because I know there are many who were not be able to be together with their families during the festive seasons. My parents shuttle between SIN-INA, while one of my sister is in the States and I am in Australia. Yet, last Christmas we were fortunate to be able to fly everyone back to Asia and spend it together. If that is not a blessing, I really don't know what is...

My family holds a special place in my heart and let me share with you why!

1) If not for you, why else? If you ask most people, they do not think too much when spending for their family, their loved ones, wanting only the best for them! Why else would parents risk everything to take loans to send their children to further their studies? In Indonesia, people sell properties to send their grandparents to Singapore for medical treatments. Looking at its economical values, this kind of investments are the WORST to go into. There is no gurantee that the child will be filial,no gurantee your child will be successful even with education. Grandparents will die one day regardless the amounts you spend on the treatments,but YET, people still do it... Why? Simply because of love, love for the family and loved ones.

2) If not them,Who else? When i was involved in the car accident, it was terrifying for me. I think because it happened overseas when I was all alone! The first person i texted was my dad. There is probably not much he could do back in Indonesia at that time, but texting him and letting him know what happened really made me feel a lot better. That is afterall the purpose of a home isn't it? When everything else outside goes wrong, you know you got support and comfort when you get back home.

3) If not now,when else? I am now in University, and I try to take every possible opporunity to be back with the family. Of course I love Singapore and Indonesia, but most importantly I miss and love my family. I have come to realise that after University I will further my studies, work,get married and then have my own family to care and think about. If I don't spend this period of my life with my family, I am afraid I wouldn't have as much opportunity as I have right now.

It was even more exciting when my parents proposed to go on a short vacation trip to Penang for the New Year countdown! Of course,they wanted to meet Abigail and see who is the girl I am dating now. But that will be a whole different story!

Love and appreciate your family and a Happy New Year all!

Happy thanksgiving

If happiness is a gift, then thanksgiving must be a choice. What is thanksgiving to you? In the ancient times, it is the time when people give thanks for the harvest that they get for the year. Of course, it has its religious significance. Whichever way you see it, i would like to use it as an opportunity to give thanks for a great 2010! It had certainly been a year of many milestones.

1) This is the year of my freedom, my liberty out of the military call of duty. For 2 years I waited for the time to get my civilian rights back. It is also the year of academic continuation for my guy friends and myself. This year, I came to Australia to study. I ever contemplated studying abroad, but not Australia, never had that continent crossed my mind. Believe it or not, I had never been to Australia prior to this trip.



2) I was given the opportunity to organize a Christian youth camp in university. It took its toll on me, but it was satisfying to know I gave it my 110% and to see how people respond to Him and to the camp. It is the sense of achievement that is really beyond comprehension. I believed the camp definitely satisfied its purpose.

3) I got my first car. It is actually quite an experience to have a car of your own. It really made life so much easier when you have a car. The convenience it provides, the reduction of limitations such as distance and time. The car is extra significant because I got into a minor accident that really taught me lessons. It taught me to be indepedent, to know who are the true friends who will be there by your side! You will be amazed who will step forward and assist you when you actually need help.

4) I met my girlfriend. Ironically, this year many of my friends found themselves a companion,and thank God i am no different. Been 2 years since i dated and it had been an amazing experience knowing her. A friend whom I can be independently dependent on.

I am sure there are many thing you can be thankful for. The fact that we are still living to read this, in itself is something to be thankful for. Soo... Unlike President Barack Obama, who pardoned the turkey on thanksgiving, I seek pardoning for the wrong that I did to anyone at anywhere this thanksgiving. No matter where, when and how in 2010, I am thankful that you are part of it...

When you're in love

I'm blessed to have known a certain person in a more personal way this semester. To be honest, i really dont know what hit me. Many would have know what happened the last time and how I was single for at least a good 2 years. Whatever happened in the process all theis while, I am very happy to have known her, and she is someone you can only dream of. Many of my friends asked so what happens to LHC then? Well, although I may no longer be single, LHC should continue to be a place of interaction and channel to share your thoughts and opinions.
It has been some time since I blogged. Many things happened, some for better, some for worse. But that is life and how you learn to live life. Personally, this semester has been a whirlwind. It is unbelievable that the last time I blogged about love, it was on my QF flight from Singapore bound for Brisbane, Australia. On that flight, the person next to me was impressed with what i wrote and he remarked 'You must be a single gentleman'. I nodded. 4 months on, I'm with a special girl who changed my world.

Dating is always been an interesting time when you meet someone new. It is the time when whatever I had blogged previously doesn't seem to matter and your heart speaks louder than your mind. I want to share some of the things I learn while dating her!

1)Persistance is probably the best gauge of the substance you are made of. I tried to ask her out for at least 4 times before she finally agreed! She would never fail to give me the most amusing and lamest excuse you wouldn't even think of! Even that time when she agreed, it somehow felt like it was forced upon her! To be honest, I almost gave up! It is probably in a girl's genes to play hard to get. In her own words, it is called the self defence mechanism. Am i even dangerous? sigh. It is important however to know how much to persist. The greatest disaster is for a man to get his persistance terminated and hopes crushed. I think it doesn't only apply to their girls, it applies to their dreams as well.

2) Patience. I've always been attracted by girls who are indepedent, and she is no different. The thing about indepedent women is that they will always have a mind of their own and are persistent in their own way. An extreme word to desribe them would be stubborn. On the bright side, the best part of it though is that she is a wise and smart woman! :P To top it all off, did i mention she is rather fierce in her own way. If i have the opportunity to introduce her to you when we meet, observe those big round eyes. If a man's biceps are his weapons to victory, then her eyes would be her choice of weaponary. That means I have to be careful and patient with her. Understatement. VERY patient with her. In many instances, if i was not patient, I think things could have flared up.

3) Trust. I would like to believe that I am dating a very attractive woman. Well, whether you like it or not...She is! With that comes the entourage of guys and attention. She had many admirers in the past and that probably will not change in the near future. As much as it flatters me, at times it worries me as well. If there is one thing i learn from my past relationships, it would be to trust the lady and not be easily possessive or jealous. In this lady, I know I can safely place my trust! :)

In conclusion, i think there is nothing better than to be able to share your life with someone who appreciates you and loves you the way you are! To be able to live indepedent lives interdependently... I think nothing happens by accident and I have God to thank for giving me an opportunity. As much as I believe fate has a role to play, just like any success, it is the point whereby preparation meets opportunity!

It is 2 months into the relationship, and as I reflect on my role and what it will take to make this relationship work, I want to be a man who will EDIFY her spiritually, MEET her emotional needs and BE THERE for her physically.

I’ve come to realise that in every fairytale-like movie, every girl took a risk. Took a risk for love, took a risk in the name of love. So, how do we know if our own fairytale won’t really happen if we don’t try, if we stop believing in love?

Dedicated to you!

TWO people are BETTER off than one, for they can HELP each other succeed.
Ecc 4:9

When you're left speechless and all else doesnt matter

If you have been reading this blog, you will be amazed by what happened. For 2 years, I never cared much about girls or anything to do with them. After what happened, girls/relationships all just seem so fake to me. I dedicated this blog to my thoughts and opinions, talking on my perception on love, how it could be perfect, about finding the sole one person, having the perfect date etc.

To be honest, I dont know what hit me, but i have been talking and spending time with a particular girl. We are just friends right now, but just knowing the fact that she is around, making her smile, making her blush covering her face with her notes really is like drugs. I used to think and write so much of what I look for, but in the end, when it hit you, it really doesnt matter.

There are a few things i learn from her though:

1) I learn that girls will want to know why, the start of things, whereas I am more interested as to what we are going to deal with in the future. She asked me why I like her, why am i interested in her. The truth is, like what I mentioned earlier, i really dont know. Obviously beauty,intelligence(witty she calls it),chemistry,comfort level with her around play a part, but its just because it is her,she is different.

2) When a girl talks of interest, it doesnt mean commitment. A girl may be interested, but it doesnt mean she is ready to commit. That is the complexity of a woman's mind. Would i be upset if she doesnt want to commit overtime? I would, but would i still go out with her, even if she doesn't commit? Despite the pain,i probably will.

At the end of it all, i dont know what she thinks, how she feels or what the future behold. If all these was nothing more than a play, and i have been used as a puppet, I know i have put myself into a risk that I am willing to take. She knows my past, she knows the hurtful stuff I did to take revenge on my past, but more importantly i want her to know i want a changed future from my past.

In our broken down world,nobody is perfect,everyone has their past and the future is uncertain.Right now, i really am unsure when our last outing will be. But if today we had our last outing, i really want to let you know that I like you, and i need to thank you for enabling me to feel and say those 3 simple words genuinely once again...

My perception of love differs with the phase of life

I’m writing this on my flight from Singapore to Brisbane, Australia. During this vacation trip, this thought really got stuck in my mind. Coincidentally, i turned 21 2months ago. I realised the perception of relationship as a teenager as a young adult differs greatly. I grew up with 2 beautiful sisters, and watching Disney fairy tales like Beauty and the Beast, Cinderella was very much a norm. When I was younger, I always wanted my girlfriend to be someone very pretty, someone like a princess, someone who will make jaws drop before you could recall her name. However, now that I am older, I realised that is not all to a relationship. This is especially so when you think of marriage and family. Suddenly, I find myself viewing relationships from the realm of pure emotions to a realm of practicality. Emotions may tell us how we feel, but if you reference the emotions for someone with practicality, you realised he/she may not be that perfect to fit your bill after all. Let me share with you some factors I never thought when I was in that ‘realm of pure emotions’.

Consider these factors that you (like me) would probably oversee when you were younger:

1) Finance. I know many people will think you are a materialistic maniac, but the truth is if you go into a relationship with future in sight, finance is a major factor. Do you really want to marry someone knowing nose-dive plunge is ahead, you are going to struggle with financial hardship? I do believe there is an element of romance in long suffering, isn’t this so in many movies? Well, it is romantic in the realm of pure emotions, but not in practicality. I realised many of my friends who are ladies, as they grew older, the financial stability factor gets so influential. For example, in university, more and more of my girl friends are choosing to date men who are in the workforce with a sustainable income and career.

Men got to work our socks off, we are supposed to be a pivotal financial support in the relationship, but think about it. If you want to start a business, you have an awesome idea, don’t you think a well-to-do girlfriend(wife-to-be) will offer you a better opportunity, network and resource to achieve your business goal/dream?

That being said, I learn from Malcolm Gladwell’s book, Outliers, there is a deeper and complex understanding to all these. Opportunities, networking and resources don’t just come out of nothing, they are closely related to family history, family background etc.

2) Family background. Some call marriage the merger of a man and a woman. I think this concept is very true, but it is an incomplete sentence. Marriage is in fact, the merger of a man and a woman AND THEIR FAMILIES. How often have you heard of marriage where the two families have conflict of interests but yet the couple are loving and happy as ever? No matter how loving a couple may be, when there is a clash of interest between the two families, friction will also occur in the relationship of the couple as well. This is because family holds such a stronghold in an individual’s emotional realm and formation of values and beliefs.

It is no wonder that when I walk past secondary school couples, i would turn to whoever I am with and offer them a smile. Then again, I must admit I admire their ignorance; ignorance is indeed bliss. Ignorance to the many realities that we learn as we grow older and wiser...

Man and their fishing game

Blame it on exams,but when mugging kicks in,my mind is in its hyper-active mode! This entry is a parable... Everyone must have heard of man and their 'fishing' game. Or... Don't worry, there are many fished out in the sea. This close friend of mine in JC, she used to tease me of 'fishing' ALL THE TIME. To my defence, I wasn't fishing. There is a BIG difference between standing in front of a tank ADMIRING gorgeous fishes, and throwing a bait hoping to get a 'catch'! :P

When i think about it, this analogy makes a lot of sense! Assuming ceteris paribus(I got econs exam this Sat), then all these may help you in your quest for THE 'fish' in the sea of love...

1) Men have to be the proactive one(This sucks). We all know fishes will not jump onto a boat by itself. A man has to hook a bait and pray and hope and pray and hope that she bites onto the bait. Isn't this true in the game of love? I know of girls who advances in courtship, but these are rare. They are like the whales who jump onto the shore and kill themselves, exposing themselves to the human race. In fact, if you do a bit of research, they are probably the only species of fishes that surface by themselves.

2) What equipments are you using? This is probably why some people are seen as playboys or players. How do you blame him? A man has a choice to choose whether to fish with a rod or a fishing net right? Casting a net will yield more fishes than fishing with a rod, that is logic. Well, neither can we blame the species in the water. They do not know what the fisherman is up to, or whether it was a net or a rod. All they know is they are caught!


That being said, why is it not all girls will get attracted to you? Why the hot girl in class is not attracted to your innocence and smarty pants? Some girls are blatant with their choice of looks, while some are attracted to a kind soul. Some girls wants it ALL! Isn't this the same logic in fishing? A shark will not bite on a prawn bait, neither will the guppy in the river want to bite on the chunk of meat on the hook. I do find it sad though. What if the only fish my bait attract is ikan bilis? That's it dot com dot sg! I was wondering to self, that means men got to know the girl well, and know exactly what kind of man is she attracted to, am I right?

3)Understand that it is not always a winning game. Like a fishing trip, we always EXPECT to return to shore with something. Well, the truth is, sometimes there are those 'dry' seasons when you don't catch anything. The same with the love game. Sometimes you 'efforts' goes to waste or gets unappreciated. Suck it up like how army had taught you. On the other hand, sometimes you caught a fish, but things just doesn't work out, what happens? She either flips on deck and jump back into the sea or you release it back into the waters. Isn't this the same like a break up? That is life, sad but true. That is why friends' comfort you by saying there are many OTHER fishes in the sea. Beware not to catch the same fish the next time you sail out though :S

4) Fishing with your good friends is the best bet. When you fish with your friends, they lend you their equipments, you share advices, you comfort when one doesnt get a catch, and you celebrate when another gets a catch. Isn't it funny if you think about it, that love blossoms easily from a group of good friends? It never happens out of nowehere. Be it orientation group, project group, study group, movie group, whatever you call it. What do you think?


The next time someone asked if you were 'fishing' think about these. It can be a sad game, the water is cloudy, how do we even know what we are going to catch? But one thing for sure, when you do get your catch, you are the happiest boy in the whole wide world. Meanwhile, chasing a girl is exactly like a fishing game. It takes patience, it takes time, it takes effort... So grab your buddies, get the beach hat, grab the lotion and beer, chill out and wait for the catch to get hooked on your rod :P (I tried to excuse the pun!)