If you ask a single, relationship equals to love. When you are in relationship, you are in love. That is common sense, but if you asked someone in a relationship, their answers will differ. Relationship to them equals to commitment, trust and faithfulness. Now that is where we will think things get complicated. Question to self: Can it actually be something simple?
What do man fear in commitment?
As a man myself, I think there are two scenerios where we are afraid to commit.
Firstly, I find it hard to commit because of my past experiences. Trust me, emotional hurt can knock you out like a killer punch. Someone reminded me 'Once bitten,twice shy' but heck, we are human and when we know when something hurts, once bitten, no matter how many times after, we tend to be defensive. That being said, we differ from each other. Some move on faster, while some get ultra defensive. I know this is not usually associated with men, but there are some of us who are like this.
Secondly, and what is more interesting is that we are afraid to let the girl know of our true feelings, how we feel towards her. I have never dared to ask a girl for her number no matter where i am. Forget about the ego and whatever pride people stereotype men with, but WHO ON EARTH love rejections? Who on earth love to know that they are not the one even though his heart pounds faster whenever he sees her in the corner of his eye? I once told a girl how i felt towards her, and that was the last time I saw her. Guys, when she says looks doesn't matter, i think its a bluff. If i(a man) went to the pet shop to choose my puppy, i chose a cute dog, not some ugly looking dog because i want to look good when i bring her for a walk. What more us human when we choose our partner whom people will associate us with for the rest of our lives? (sigh sad huh? Raymond doesnt really share the genes of Brad Pitt or Tom Cruise)
What do woman fear in commitment?
I shall hereby clarify there are probably 101 things women fear in commitment but one thing i seem to get the idea from my friends is that they are afraid of hurt inflicted by man. By this i mean emotional hurt. If physical hurt come into your mind, that man is just downright sick. We heard too much of this, in fact the media love this because it brews scandals. Tiger Woods, Jack Neo, need i mention more? Believe it or not, I know of girl friends who dump their boyfriends because they are afraid/suspect the boys are cheating and going to hurt them. PFFFTTT! By this act, I think it is like a self insurance to hurt others first before getting hurt.
it is no wonder this explains why women usually:
1)Play hard to get.
2)Not as expressive with their feelings
3)not give guys like Raymond a chance( I dont understand why. I am so innocent, is my halo too glowy for them?)
Making love more simple:
If you think about it, it doesn't make sense at all. How is it that man who is interested in a girl is more than willing to share his commitment to her, and a girl who likes a man but is afraid of being hurt will refrain herself from any form of commitments with him. Idealistically, both parties are seeking commitment in a relationship but somehow doesn't get any? Wouldn't it be much more simple if women can trust men and they are willing to give the guy a chance? Wouldn't it be much more simple if men can be more confident and assured that what they confess will not be smacked back at their faces?
The Answer is:
NO!
We live in a world that is subconsciously driven by
1)Pride(We hold our guard, not wanting to show that we are 'vulnerable'. How would my friends think of me if they know i was rejected by her?LOSER? you bet!)
2)Self-centeredness.(We think of self and not others. Men who hurt girls' feelings think only of their own 'fun' and not the girl's. Girls will think of how they can protect themselves emotionally, even if it means to hurt the man. Third parties will want to 'snatch' the person he/she loves, regardless how the either party of the couple feels.)
3) Ceterus paribus irrelevant in real world. By this, I mean stuff like her legs, her chest, his arms, his height, his bank account, his car, her friends, his family, the distance between the two parties, his friends, her siblings and the list goes on. There are non-exahustive factors that we consider in choosing our partners. It is our culture, our system.
Then again, Love would be simple....
If one is willing to receive, and the other is willing to give...
The equilibrium the world will never be able to satisfy!
3 comments:
hahahaha so true so trueee.. less the fact that raymond is innocent? hehe :p but this post is so typical of that written by a guy! hahaha girls will always blame angels like us.. haha.
Derek, u r fast! i just uploaded this and you are done reading it! OMGOSH
:)
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