a simple man,chasing his destiny...

Best lessons are not taught in class.

2011-01-29T19:41:00.010+08:00

I thought we go to school because the most valuable lessons are taught in the classrooms. Surprisingly, I came to realise that many of the best and valuable lessons I learnt are taught outside the classrooms. That said, considering the course I am studying, we should not discount the credit academic teachers deserve for moulding our YOUNG minds.I am not very old, neither do I have A LOT of experience, but I have come to an age where i can comfortable qualify myself as a young adult. Let me share with you the top 3 lessons I learn outside of the classroom that are most valuable to me!

1) Whatever course you do, they offer all the relevant modules and majors you can think of, but personally, I think the most important one that they missed out is Connection-networking! It is something that cannot be taught in class, yet many intern opportunities, business deals, employment and promotions are depedent on it. Successful people have great connections that provide them with the opportunity to advance in their career! That said, never make friends with an intention. Be genuine in your friendships!

2) The greatest investor of your dreams is your family! I was taught in church to share and confess your dreams to people wisely because the words of others will either make or break you! In school, we flow with the communal belief that we should be popular in school where everyone is literally your friend. However, it gets tricky when it comes to creating your inner circle of close friends. You may share your dreams with your friends, but if you share it with the wrong friends, their sceptical nature may just extinguish all the optimism you stored up to chase your dream. Be wise with who you share your inner circle of friends because the school only teaches us to be a friendly student who is a friend of everybody.

3) This amuses me the most because despite its importance, I was never taught a single lesson on it in school. HOW DO YOU CHOOSE AND FALL IN LOVE? In the United States almost 50% of marriages end up in a divorce and I am sure the rate is increasing elsewhere. As I reflect back, i actually thought that a discussion session on this topic may be interesting, to get a view from the opposite sex! You cant blame me for coming from a boys school. I was in 4-5 relationships(serious) before and some ended well, some ended badly. One thing for sure is that I learnt new lessons about relationships and girls from every single one of those experiences.

I love schools and it is something that I am dedicating myself to study and go into in the near future. I believe that to make a better tomorrow, we should educate today. However, there are so much that is involved in what we call life that not all lessons are taught in class. These lessons can be learnt from our community and our parents. Unfortunately, the cruel reality of life is that there will be some who will miss out on some of these important lessons of life which they have to learn the hard way...

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

The significance of family

2011-01-04T19:34:00.006+08:00

Someone told me: When you took in your first breath, there were two things you got yourself into that were not your choice. You got yourself into THE WORLD and A FAMILY.

Christmas 2010 is all about family to me. Many might think the money used for traveling was wasteful, but to me it was all worth it. I really thank God because I know there are many who were not be able to be together with their families during the festive seasons. My parents shuttle between SIN-INA, while one of my sister is in the States and I am in Australia. Yet, last Christmas we were fortunate to be able to fly everyone back to Asia and spend it together. If that is not a blessing, I really don't know what is...

My family holds a special place in my heart and let me share with you why!

1) If not for you, why else? If you ask most people, they do not think too much when spending for their family, their loved ones, wanting only the best for them! Why else would parents risk everything to take loans to send their children to further their studies? In Indonesia, people sell properties to send their grandparents to Singapore for medical treatments. Looking at its economical values, this kind of investments are the WORST to go into. There is no gurantee that the child will be filial,no gurantee your child will be successful even with education. Grandparents will die one day regardless the amounts you spend on the treatments,but YET, people still do it... Why? Simply because of love, love for the family and loved ones.

2) If not them,Who else? When i was involved in the car accident, it was terrifying for me. I think because it happened overseas when I was all alone! The first person i texted was my dad. There is probably not much he could do back in Indonesia at that time, but texting him and letting him know what happened really made me feel a lot better. That is afterall the purpose of a home isn't it? When everything else outside goes wrong, you know you got support and comfort when you get back home.

3) If not now,when else? I am now in University, and I try to take every possible opporunity to be back with the family. Of course I love Singapore and Indonesia, but most importantly I miss and love my family. I have come to realise that after University I will further my studies, work,get married and then have my own family to care and think about. If I don't spend this period of my life with my family, I am afraid I wouldn't have as much opportunity as I have right now.

It was even more exciting when my parents proposed to go on a short vacation trip to Penang for the New Year countdown! Of course,they wanted to meet Abigail and see who is the girl I am dating now. But that will be a whole different story!

Love and appreciate your family and a Happy New Year all!

Happy thanksgiving

2010-11-26T08:34:00.010+08:00

If happiness is a gift, then thanksgiving must be a choice. What is thanksgiving to you? In the ancient times, it is the time when people give thanks for the harvest that they get for the year. Of course, it has its religious significance. Whichever way you see it, i would like to use it as an opportunity to give thanks for a great 2010! It had certainly been a year of many milestones.

1) This is the year of my freedom, my liberty out of the military call of duty. For 2 years I waited for the time to get my civilian rights back. It is also the year of academic continuation for my guy friends and myself. This year, I came to Australia to study. I ever contemplated studying abroad, but not Australia, never had that continent crossed my mind. Believe it or not, I had never been to Australia prior to this trip.

2) I was given the opportunity to organize a Christian youth camp in university. It took its toll on me, but it was satisfying to know I gave it my 110% and to see how people respond to Him and to the camp. It is the sense of achievement that is really beyond comprehension. I believed the camp definitely satisfied its purpose.

3) I got my first car. It is actually quite an experience to have a car of your own. It really made life so much easier when you have a car. The convenience it provides, the reduction of limitations such as distance and time. The car is extra significant because I got into a minor accident that really taught me lessons. It taught me to be indepedent, to know who are the true friends who will be there by your side! You will be amazed who will step forward and assist you when you actually need help.

4) I met my girlfriend. Ironically, this year many of my friends found themselves a companion,and thank God i am no different. Been 2 years since i dated and it had been an amazing experience knowing her. A friend whom I can be independently dependent on.

I am sure there are many thing you can be thankful for. The fact that we are still living to read this, in itself is something to be thankful for. Soo... Unlike President Barack Obama, who pardoned the turkey on thanksgiving, I seek pardoning for the wrong that I did to anyone at anywhere this thanksgiving. No matter where, when and how in 2010, I am thankful that you are part of it...

When you're in love

2010-10-12T20:45:00.012+08:00

I'm blessed to have known a certain person in a more personal way this semester. To be honest, i really dont know what hit me. Many would have know what happened the last time and how I was single for at least a good 2 years. Whatever happened in the process all theis while, I am very happy to have known her, and she is someone you can only dream of. Many of my friends asked so what happens to LHC then? Well, although I may no longer be single, LHC should continue to be a place of interaction and channel to share your thoughts and opinions.
It has been some time since I blogged. Many things happened, some for better, some for worse. But that is life and how you learn to live life. Personally, this semester has been a whirlwind. It is unbelievable that the last time I blogged about love, it was on my QF flight from Singapore bound for Brisbane, Australia. On that flight, the person next to me was impressed with what i wrote and he remarked 'You must be a single gentleman'. I nodded. 4 months on, I'm with a special girl who changed my world.

Dating is always been an interesting time when you meet someone new. It is the time when whatever I had blogged previously doesn't seem to matter and your heart speaks louder than your mind. I want to share some of the things I learn while dating her!

1)Persistance is probably the best gauge of the substance you are made of. I tried to ask her out for at least 4 times before she finally agreed! She would never fail to give me the most amusing and lamest excuse you wouldn't even think of! Even that time when she agreed, it somehow felt like it was forced upon her! To be honest, I almost gave up! It is probably in a girl's genes to play hard to get. In her own words, it is called the self defence mechanism. Am i even dangerous? sigh. It is important however to know how much to persist. The greatest disaster is for a man to get his persistance terminated and hopes crushed. I think it doesn't only apply to their girls, it applies to their dreams as well.

2) Patience. I've always been attracted by girls who are indepedent, and she is no different. The thing about indepedent women is that they will always have a mind of their own and are persistent in their own way. An extreme word to desribe them would be stubborn. On the bright side, the best part of it though is that she is a wise and smart woman! :P To top it all off, did i mention she is rather fierce in her own way. If i have the opportunity to introduce her to you when we meet, observe those big round eyes. If a man's biceps are his weapons to victory, then her eyes would be her choice of weaponary. That means I have to be careful and patient with her. Understatement. VERY patient with her. In many instances, if i was not patient, I think things could have flared up.

3) Trust. I would like to believe that I am dating a very attractive woman. Well, whether you like it or not...She is! With that comes the entourage of guys and attention. She had many admirers in the past and that probably will not change in the near future. As much as it flatters me, at times it worries me as well. If there is one thing i learn from my past relationships, it would be to trust the lady and not be easily possessive or jealous. In this lady, I know I can safely place my trust! :)

In conclusion, i think there is nothing better than to be able to share your life with someone who appreciates you and loves you the way you are! To be able to live indepedent lives interdependently... I think nothing happens by accident and I have God to thank for giving me an opportunity. As much as I believe fate has a role to play, just like any success, it is the point whereby preparation meets opportunity!

It is 2 months into the relationship, and as I reflect on my role and what it will take to make this relationship work, I want to be a man who will EDIFY her spiritually, MEET her emotional needs and BE THERE for her physically.

I’ve come to realise that in every fairytale-like movie, every girl took a risk. Took a risk for love, took a risk in the name of love. So, how do we know if our own fairytale won’t really happen if we don’t try, if we stop believing in love?

Dedicated to you!

TWO people are BETTER off than one, for they can HELP each other succeed.
Ecc 4:9

When you're left speechless and all else doesnt matter

2010-08-30T11:06:00.003+08:00

If you have been reading this blog, you will be amazed by what happened. For 2 years, I never cared much about girls or anything to do with them. After what happened, girls/relationships all just seem so fake to me. I dedicated this blog to my thoughts and opinions, talking on my perception on love, how it could be perfect, about finding the sole one person, having the perfect date etc.

To be honest, I dont know what hit me, but i have been talking and spending time with a particular girl. We are just friends right now, but just knowing the fact that she is around, making her smile, making her blush covering her face with her notes really is like drugs. I used to think and write so much of what I look for, but in the end, when it hit you, it really doesnt matter.

There are a few things i learn from her though:

1) I learn that girls will want to know why, the start of things, whereas I am more interested as to what we are going to deal with in the future. She asked me why I like her, why am i interested in her. The truth is, like what I mentioned earlier, i really dont know. Obviously beauty,intelligence(witty she calls it),chemistry,comfort level with her around play a part, but its just because it is her,she is different.

2) When a girl talks of interest, it doesnt mean commitment. A girl may be interested, but it doesnt mean she is ready to commit. That is the complexity of a woman's mind. Would i be upset if she doesnt want to commit overtime? I would, but would i still go out with her, even if she doesn't commit? Despite the pain,i probably will.

At the end of it all, i dont know what she thinks, how she feels or what the future behold. If all these was nothing more than a play, and i have been used as a puppet, I know i have put myself into a risk that I am willing to take. She knows my past, she knows the hurtful stuff I did to take revenge on my past, but more importantly i want her to know i want a changed future from my past.

In our broken down world,nobody is perfect,everyone has their past and the future is uncertain.Right now, i really am unsure when our last outing will be. But if today we had our last outing, i really want to let you know that I like you, and i need to thank you for enabling me to feel and say those 3 simple words genuinely once again...

My perception of love differs with the phase of life

2010-07-24T11:36:00.006+08:00

I’m writing this on my flight from Singapore to Brisbane, Australia. During this vacation trip, this thought really got stuck in my mind. Coincidentally, i turned 21 2months ago. I realised the perception of relationship as a teenager as a young adult differs greatly. I grew up with 2 beautiful sisters, and watching Disney fairy tales like Beauty and the Beast, Cinderella was very much a norm. When I was younger, I always wanted my girlfriend to be someone very pretty, someone like a princess, someone who will make jaws drop before you could recall her name. However, now that I am older, I realised that is not all to a relationship. This is especially so when you think of marriage and family. Suddenly, I find myself viewing relationships from the realm of pure emotions to a realm of practicality. Emotions may tell us how we feel, but if you reference the emotions for someone with practicality, you realised he/she may not be that perfect to fit your bill after all. Let me share with you some factors I never thought when I was in that ‘realm of pure emotions’.

Consider these factors that you (like me) would probably oversee when you were younger:

1) Finance. I know many people will think you are a materialistic maniac, but the truth is if you go into a relationship with future in sight, finance is a major factor. Do you really want to marry someone knowing nose-dive plunge is ahead, you are going to struggle with financial hardship? I do believe there is an element of romance in long suffering, isn’t this so in many movies? Well, it is romantic in the realm of pure emotions, but not in practicality. I realised many of my friends who are ladies, as they grew older, the financial stability factor gets so influential. For example, in university, more and more of my girl friends are choosing to date men who are in the workforce with a sustainable income and career.

Men got to work our socks off, we are supposed to be a pivotal financial support in the relationship, but think about it. If you want to start a business, you have an awesome idea, don’t you think a well-to-do girlfriend(wife-to-be) will offer you a better opportunity, network and resource to achieve your business goal/dream?

That being said, I learn from Malcolm Gladwell’s book, Outliers, there is a deeper and complex understanding to all these. Opportunities, networking and resources don’t just come out of nothing, they are closely related to family history, family background etc.

2) Family background. Some call marriage the merger of a man and a woman. I think this concept is very true, but it is an incomplete sentence. Marriage is in fact, the merger of a man and a woman AND THEIR FAMILIES. How often have you heard of marriage where the two families have conflict of interests but yet the couple are loving and happy as ever? No matter how loving a couple may be, when there is a clash of interest between the two families, friction will also occur in the relationship of the couple as well. This is because family holds such a stronghold in an individual’s emotional realm and formation of values and beliefs.

It is no wonder that when I walk past secondary school couples, i would turn to whoever I am with and offer them a smile. Then again, I must admit I admire their ignorance; ignorance is indeed bliss. Ignorance to the many realities that we learn as we grow older and wiser...

Man and their fishing game

2010-06-09T17:41:00.006+08:00

Blame it on exams,but when mugging kicks in,my mind is in its hyper-active mode! This entry is a parable... Everyone must have heard of man and their 'fishing' game. Or... Don't worry, there are many fished out in the sea. This close friend of mine in JC, she used to tease me of 'fishing' ALL THE TIME. To my defence, I wasn't fishing. There is a BIG difference between standing in front of a tank ADMIRING gorgeous fishes, and throwing a bait hoping to get a 'catch'! :P

When i think about it, this analogy makes a lot of sense! Assuming ceteris paribus(I got econs exam this Sat), then all these may help you in your quest for THE 'fish' in the sea of love...

1) Men have to be the proactive one(This sucks). We all know fishes will not jump onto a boat by itself. A man has to hook a bait and pray and hope and pray and hope that she bites onto the bait. Isn't this true in the game of love? I know of girls who advances in courtship, but these are rare. They are like the whales who jump onto the shore and kill themselves, exposing themselves to the human race. In fact, if you do a bit of research, they are probably the only species of fishes that surface by themselves.

2) What equipments are you using? This is probably why some people are seen as playboys or players. How do you blame him? A man has a choice to choose whether to fish with a rod or a fishing net right? Casting a net will yield more fishes than fishing with a rod, that is logic. Well, neither can we blame the species in the water. They do not know what the fisherman is up to, or whether it was a net or a rod. All they know is they are caught!

That being said, why is it not all girls will get attracted to you? Why the hot girl in class is not attracted to your innocence and smarty pants? Some girls are blatant with their choice of looks, while some are attracted to a kind soul. Some girls wants it ALL! Isn't this the same logic in fishing? A shark will not bite on a prawn bait, neither will the guppy in the river want to bite on the chunk of meat on the hook. I do find it sad though. What if the only fish my bait attract is ikan bilis? That's it dot com dot sg! I was wondering to self, that means men got to know the girl well, and know exactly what kind of man is she attracted to, am I right?

3)Understand that it is not always a winning game. Like a fishing trip, we always EXPECT to return to shore with something. Well, the truth is, sometimes there are those 'dry' seasons when you don't catch anything. The same with the love game. Sometimes you 'efforts' goes to waste or gets unappreciated. Suck it up like how army had taught you. On the other hand, sometimes you caught a fish, but things just doesn't work out, what happens? She either flips on deck and jump back into the sea or you release it back into the waters. Isn't this the same like a break up? That is life, sad but true. That is why friends' comfort you by saying there are many OTHER fishes in the sea. Beware not to catch the same fish the next time you sail out though :S

4) Fishing with your good friends is the best bet. When you fish with your friends, they lend you their equipments, you share advices, you comfort when one doesnt get a catch, and you celebrate when another gets a catch. Isn't it funny if you think about it, that love blossoms easily from a group of good friends? It never happens out of nowehere. Be it orientation group, project group, study group, movie group, whatever you call it. What do you think?

The next time someone asked if you were 'fishing' think about these. It can be a sad game, the water is cloudy, how do we even know what we are going to catch? But one thing for sure, when you do get your catch, you are the happiest boy in the whole wide world. Meanwhile, chasing a girl is exactly like a fishing game. It takes patience, it takes time, it takes effort... So grab your buddies, get the beach hat, grab the lotion and beer, chill out and wait for the catch to get hooked on your rod :P (I tried to excuse the pun!)

Keys of investment

2010-05-06T22:49:00.010+08:00

Have you ever invested? ALL of us, in one way or another has invested before. Investment is defined as the investing of money or capital in order to gain profitable returns, as interest, income, or appreciation in value.This means that it does not necessarily require money. I had this interesting thought where the rule of investment in our finances actually applies to our emotions,relationships and everything else! The capital being refered to in the definition can be an act of effort, time or energy. I am sure you have invested into the lives of your loved ones, you have invested time in the assignment you want to score in, you have invested research time to learn how to cook the dish you always wanted to eat.

RULE 1: We ALWAYS expect a profitable returns. The similarity i learn about investment is that regardless if money or a capital(time,energy) is being invested, we want something in return. I think this is interesting. Can we genuinely say we are doing something not expecting in return? Even if it is done out of love, is it possible to say that we dont expect anything ABSOLUTELY? Does this mean that we are only being nice and helpful to our friends with a motive or purpose? Will you still do something for someone without expecting anything in return? Some people will be offended by this notion but if you think about it, even if it is subtle or subconsiously done, people do expect things in return. Economics use the term 'there is no free lunch', that is very true.

For example, one of the greatest love in this world is parental love. When they invested energy, finance in your education and upbringing, they are doing it for your own good. However, ask any parents, and subconsciously they will tell you they do expect their children to take care of them in their old age. Is this wrong? That is subjective to every individual, but i feel parents do have the right to expect such things and children should take care of them regardless.

What about my beloved nation? They love their 'children' so much that our education and livelihood is marginally subsidised!! Yes they are doing it out of love, but they too expect me to serve the 2 years of my life. They expect you to conform to their social norm. Indeed, there is never an investment without expectancy.

RULE 2: Get your currency right. The key to good investment is to invest in the currency that we expect to get in return. To get a financial return in the stock market, you first need to invest with MONEY! When you want to make friends, you got to invest in others' lives as a friendly person. When you want to chase a woman hoping to get her affection, you first got to be affectionate to her. I hope it makes sense.

The reason i blog about this is because i got this friend who was telling me she feels that she got no friends. However, after much conversations, I understood why. She is not putting her in a position where she is not investing in other people's lives, how can she get friendship in return? Personally, sometimes i feel that she is always in the mindset of what can she get out of a person. I think it is scary how our mindset can dictate the outcomes in our lives.

It is so common that we hear of guys buying girls gifts to get their affection or attention! I am not trying to save the guys' money here, but seriously! You want to win her over for her time,commitment and companion, so start investing your time on her, getting to know her, spending time with her, be it in the good or bad times and for once LEARN to commit to her. Gifts and stuff should be a by-product, not the thing to win a girl over. Besides, giving gifts is not a good idea. Girls will always expect something better and your stake on her just gets bigger. Be warned guys! :S

RULE 3: Investment is about profits and losses. We can never win in every investment we get involed in. It is afterall a calculated risk. It is always easy to accept the profits from an investment, but it is difficult to swallow the loss from an investment, especially if you had invested so much into it. Disappointments and failures have been such a big factor in suicidal cases in our community. It has crippled many regardless of their stature or personality. How else do people whom we thought have it all commit suicide?

Dr Adolf Merckle, 75, of Germany was one of the richest people in the world, ranked number 94 by Forbes in 2008 at USD9.2 billion. He committed suicide when he was crashed during the economic crisis. He lost a lot in his investments. What about many of us? Many of us our age? I don't know many rich or famous people our age, but so many of us have crash and burn when we invest with our emotions. Many has committed emotional suicide! I for one seem to be heading that direction if i did not renew my mind. I find it easy to be attracted to someone, but liking someone is something of a whole new level. It strikes fear of making a bad choice and making a bad investment all over again.

In conclusion, it is necessary for me personally to reflect how i view this concept of investment. The keys to investment are ultimately investing with the right currency for the things I desire and to be prepared that not all investments will bear fruits. We are human who make mistakes, and we will face disappointment. Be prepared to face them and learn from them. Investment is a life long learning process, one if we face optimistically can be embraced!

Complication of love

2010-04-02T23:35:00.012+08:00

I was honored to talk to this girl and she gave me an insight about the ironic complications of love. She is somewhat a rather emotional girl, but a great girl nonetheless. I wouldn't want to mention names, but thanks C! Is love supposed to be an emotion that is complicated? Why is it that some of us find it hard to love, hard to trust?

If you ask a single, relationship equals to love. When you are in relationship, you are in love. That is common sense, but if you asked someone in a relationship, their answers will differ. Relationship to them equals to commitment, trust and faithfulness. Now that is where we will think things get complicated. Question to self: Can it actually be something simple?

What do man fear in commitment?

As a man myself, I think there are two scenerios where we are afraid to commit.

Firstly, I find it hard to commit because of my past experiences. Trust me, emotional hurt can knock you out like a killer punch. Someone reminded me 'Once bitten,twice shy' but heck, we are human and when we know when something hurts, once bitten, no matter how many times after, we tend to be defensive. That being said, we differ from each other. Some move on faster, while some get ultra defensive. I know this is not usually associated with men, but there are some of us who are like this.

Secondly, and what is more interesting is that we are afraid to let the girl know of our true feelings, how we feel towards her. I have never dared to ask a girl for her number no matter where i am. Forget about the ego and whatever pride people stereotype men with, but WHO ON EARTH love rejections? Who on earth love to know that they are not the one even though his heart pounds faster whenever he sees her in the corner of his eye? I once told a girl how i felt towards her, and that was the last time I saw her. Guys, when she says looks doesn't matter, i think its a bluff. If i(a man) went to the pet shop to choose my puppy, i chose a cute dog, not some ugly looking dog because i want to look good when i bring her for a walk. What more us human when we choose our partner whom people will associate us with for the rest of our lives? (sigh sad huh? Raymond doesnt really share the genes of Brad Pitt or Tom Cruise)

What do woman fear in commitment?

I shall hereby clarify there are probably 101 things women fear in commitment but one thing i seem to get the idea from my friends is that they are afraid of hurt inflicted by man. By this i mean emotional hurt. If physical hurt come into your mind, that man is just downright sick. We heard too much of this, in fact the media love this because it brews scandals. Tiger Woods, Jack Neo, need i mention more? Believe it or not, I know of girl friends who dump their boyfriends because they are afraid/suspect the boys are cheating and going to hurt them. PFFFTTT! By this act, I think it is like a self insurance to hurt others first before getting hurt.

it is no wonder this explains why women usually:
1)Play hard to get.
2)Not as expressive with their feelings
3)not give guys like Raymond a chance( I dont understand why. I am so innocent, is my halo too glowy for them?)

Making love more simple:

If you think about it, it doesn't make sense at all. How is it that man who is interested in a girl is more than willing to share his commitment to her, and a girl who likes a man but is afraid of being hurt will refrain herself from any form of commitments with him. Idealistically, both parties are seeking commitment in a relationship but somehow doesn't get any? Wouldn't it be much more simple if women can trust men and they are willing to give the guy a chance? Wouldn't it be much more simple if men can be more confident and assured that what they confess will not be smacked back at their faces?

The Answer is:

NO!

We live in a world that is subconsciously driven by

1)Pride(We hold our guard, not wanting to show that we are 'vulnerable'. How would my friends think of me if they know i was rejected by her?LOSER? you bet!)

2)Self-centeredness.(We think of self and not others. Men who hurt girls' feelings think only of their own 'fun' and not the girl's. Girls will think of how they can protect themselves emotionally, even if it means to hurt the man. Third parties will want to 'snatch' the person he/she loves, regardless how the either party of the couple feels.)

3) Ceterus paribus irrelevant in real world. By this, I mean stuff like her legs, her chest, his arms, his height, his bank account, his car, her friends, his family, the distance between the two parties, his friends, her siblings and the list goes on. There are non-exahustive factors that we consider in choosing our partners. It is our culture, our system.

Then again, Love would be simple....

If one is willing to receive, and the other is willing to give...

The equilibrium the world will never be able to satisfy!

Character vs personality

2010-03-29T21:45:00.003+08:00

I need to make it clear that this reflection wasn't done by me, but he is a close friend of mine and he shares my thoughts and opinions. I will be writing about what i feel about studying abroad away from home soon! Watch this space.

---------------------------------------------------------

Who do people marry? Mr. Charismatic Personality or Mr. Dependable Character.

Very often, we heard women saying that they like a man because he is “funny, makes me laugh, caring”. Sometimes, guys will tell us they like a girl because she is “cute, sweet, full of sunshine.” They all seemed so happily in love and having great time together. Yet too often, a lot ended in just a few months or years. So what went right?

We often fall in love with the wrong person. Please do not get the wrong impression that the guy or girl is not the right one for you. However, our circumstances change and our love for each other may not have changed in accordance to the circumstances.

We are very often attracted to person first by their personality. Too many of us take that liking to the extreme and soon, we find ourselves loving the personality more than person. If our girlfriend or boyfriend do not behave in certain way or behaviour reflecting the personality that we like, we will get upset and will think that they had stop loving us.

Being attracted to a person’s personality is not wrong. It is perfectly fine and normal. However, a relationship built on loving one’s personality is one that will not last long.

1. Personality changes over time.

2.Personality changes with maturity.

3.Personality changes with personal experiences.

4.Personality changes with social-economic influences.

5.Personality changes with mindset.

When the personality changes and is not what we are looking for, the romance inevitably becomes zero.

On the other hand, Character is the one dependable part of a person that is boring but is the core of a person. We are attracted to a person by his or her personality but it is the character that we should love and cherish because a relation ship built on a strong foundation will flourish and grow.

Personality is what keeps a relationship ALIVE and character is what keeps it moving forward and together.

Loving one’s character means loving the person because of his/her faithfulness, honesty, diligence, mutual respect and etc. It means that the character of the one you love and cherish will not change nor will it fade.

1. Character is built up over a long sustained period of time so it will not fade easily.

2.Character is the core of any person so it is the true reflection of a person, not personality.

3.Character reveals who the person is under pressure so you will know if the person is easily to spend your life with or not.

4.Character reflects the education,upbringing and maturity of the person.

5.Character reveals the cornerstone upon which one builds his/her life on.

There is not a right answer as to how we should judge a relationship. I am single and haven't had a girlfriend in the longest time so my judgment may not be fair. However, I personally believe character is the essence of a person! Nothing remains constant except for change. When your loved one change, be compassionate, be willing to understand the change and adapt to it. There is no greater gift than love, the only thing that keeps this gift going is perseverance and it is sacrifice that exemplify love.

Flower this Valentines

2010-01-22T16:29:00.011+08:00

It is the time of the year yet again... No! Christmas just went by, but it is Valentine Day once again! I never got the chance to celebrate this day because I am often out of love this time of the year. *sob sob* What does this day symbolize to you? Valentine Day or Saint Valentine Day used to be celebrated as a holiday(it is not in Singapore,showing your lecturers or bosses wikipedia doesn't guarantee you a day off) and was named after two among the numerous Early Christian martyrs named Valentine. It is a day used by lovers to express their love for one another in the English speaking societies.

Believe it or not, in India, Valentine Day has explicitly been discouraged by some of the Hindu fundamentalists(Shiv Shena). Violence usually occur between shopkeepers selling Valentine's related merchandise and these group of people. They would even 'camp' in parks to chase away couples holding hands or suspected to be lovers. Interesting right? Imagine people scaring couples with flares in East Coast Park, Lavender Park, West Coast park or Bukit Timah hill. Come to think of it, I don't see how this can be the case. Bollywood movies are so romantic, with men chasing women and performers shedding buckets of tears.

Back to our homeland... In Wikipedia,they mentioned that thanks to marketing efforts, Valentine Day is celebrated in some Asian countries by spending most money on Valentine's gifts and Singapore is mentioned in the ranks of South Korea and China. This must be something we got to be proud of. We are actually ROMANTIC bunch of people. Unspoken rule known to many, but mentioned by none is that the man got to plan the Valentine Day. This means reservation of dinner location, present, flowers etc etc( Once done with planning, DO NOT get approval from her. She loves surprises). Some people use this date to get attached or get engaged to their lover *gulp*. In military term, it is a mission that cannot go wrong!

One gift that amuses me most is the flower. They die within a couple of days, if lucky, weeks, yet ladies ADORES them. Could it be the pleasant image to see a well dressed lady holding a good looking bouquet of flowers? I do not know, but Valentine Day without the sight of flowers is like Chicken Rice without Chicken and Manchester United without Ronaldo(no pun). I did some research and hopefully this will help you plan a good Valentine Day flower gift! :)

Meaning of Flowers:

We men try not to spend too much money, and when it comes to valentine gifts, we are pretty good with our shopping hunts, discounts, sales etc. Guys, no matter how expensive the flowers are, never try to go for something cheaper but unfamiliar! It may lead to undesirable consequence. For example:

Bachelor button Flower: A beautiful big blue flower and it is the national flower of Poland, it symbolizes celibacy, singlehood, delicacy and hope for love. So unless you want to continue to be out of love, you should never use this flower!

Chrysanthemum Flower: A flower in Singapore more associated with tea. HAHA. Well, it symbolizes long life and prosperity, at times royalty. In Japan, the emperors sat on Chrysanthemum thrones, but before you go gaga over it, it is associated with death in Italy. Bad idea for Valentine's.

Cyclamen Flower: It is native in Africa and Mediterranean and it symbolizes resignation and goodbye. If you plan to see her ever again, this is one of the cheap grabs you can consider.

Jokes aside, I personally only bought these 3 type of flowers and I haven't been proven wrong by any girl who doesn't like them!

Roses: It represents love, passion and unconscious beauty. It is also an universal flower for love, so you could seldom go wrong with this.

Sunflowers: It is very bright and symbolizes adoration, livelihood and radiant. Although they do not exactly spell L-O-V-E, their bright colors and charm will swoon any normal lady out there.

Tulips: This is rather classic. Among all of them, it seems to be the cheapest of them all. It symbolizes fame and perfect love. What's good for the pocket is always good for Valentine's Day!

Now the type of flower is done, you need to know your quantity. I walked into a florist last weekend and realized different numbering has different meaning! There may be many different versions, but this is what I find interesting. My new found discovery that I shall share with you.

1. YOU ARE MY ONE AND ONLY! Yup, cheesy, extremely. The thing is girls know when we say this, she is my one and only-at this point of time-. If they count your whole teenage years, hmm, you may need more than one flower. But thank goodness girls don't exactly reveal this to keep the occasion wholesome pure and fun. :S

3.I LOVE YOU. The only thing I can think of to make this make sense is one word= one flower. WOW, so if you plan to read a poem to her, please please count the number of words, for the sake of your wallet.

9. LONG LASTING LOVE.

10. PERFECT LOVER. I am not too sure who is the perfect one. The giver or the receiver? If it is the giver, then if you buy this quantity, be prepared to keep the high expectation of a perfect lover.

11. I'M YOUR ADMIRER. If your date is not yet your girlfriend or just a crush, then this quantity might do just fine. If you're a football fan, it might even means complete love. 11 players on the fields make a complete team.

24. LOVING YOU EVERY HOUR OF THE DAY. Way to cheesy... No way man seriously.

99. YOU COMPLETE ME. This is used for engagement proposals. Look at what one flower means. This means a continuation to it. No matter how many other lovers I may had, you are the ONE that completes me (to be a 100). cheessssyyyy...

101. WILL YOU MARRY ME? This is a funny number to begin with. Let's do maths. I think why this number means the question is because 99 is the number of girls you may have dated, but she completes you. That makes it 100. The extra one represents your baby/child, which can only be made upon marriage. So there you go, 101!

365. LOVING YOU EVERYDAY. One flower for every every day. Such a big bouquet, i have yet to see one, pretty impressive and expensive I reckon. Please don't try this with the idea of deducting off the weekends and public holidays. Catastrophic!

All said and done, I am not selling flowers okay? The plants I grew never bear flowers, so no business this Valentine. I'm not having a date this Valentine because it falls on Chinese New Year and I will be off to Australia and yes I don't have anyone I admire. I wish you all the best with your master plan, and whether the date is a success or a failure, from the mouth of a lady, what matters is the thought, the heart and YOU! awwwww.

With much Love this valentines,
Raymond

Knowledge is power.Now who has the power?

2010-01-12T16:38:00.004+08:00

I studied in the local schools for a good decade. I personally enjoyed it very much because of the availability to have a holistic education where a student nurtures not only in his academics but in his talents and character development.

For example, on top of my academic results, I enrolled into ACJC through Direct School Admissions (Track and Field). This gave a chance for me to go into a good college although with my points alone, I might have been to a college down the pecking order in ranking.

It is true that knowledge is indeed power. Unlike technology and other things, knowledge is something that will remain and equip a person forever. However, in my personal opinion, due to the competition and limited availability in this small nation, not everyone will get the best education that he/she can be offered.

Through elementary school till college, I constantly feel that the education system has 'successfully' filtered the students in the country. These are some of the 'filtering process' that every student goes through:

1)Streaming (EM1,EM2,EM3)
2)PSLE
3)Seconday school-Express,NA,NT
4)O Level- College, Polytechnic and ITE
5) A level- University, non university

Remember how your parents reacted when you didn't do too well in PSLE and go into a 'not so good' secondary school? I actually think it becomes a vicious cycle. Don't do too well-Lousy school-Meeting wrong/lousy friends-Not going into college-and so on. Yes there are some who worked hard, don't get influenced by their circumstances and got out of this, but many are still left behind!

Looking at this process, it is actually only a small minority that succeed to go to pursue further studies. To make things worse, in our modern society, how do we perceive someone who did not get into college, who did not get to university? No wonder that many dropped out and do nasty things outside. They lost hope probably because the society lost hope on them first. The thing is more people, especially from the polytechnic and ITE will end up going into the work force without their bachelor qualification. Though many of these friends of mine say they are working to earn money for private university, more often than not, they will be tempted to just stay in the work force, draw a comfortable salary and wait for the next phase of their life-marriage.

On the other hand, the idea of education at its highest level is very subjective. Everyone has many different talents. Children who are more inclined in Arts and Music may not do too well in the academic track, while an academically inclined child may not go too well in a vocational institute. That is why we have a good government to thank for. They have managed to ensure everyone is happy with the education they obtained and regardless the education track you got 'filtered' to, you are still assured of a comfortable standard of living in the country.

when you're at LIFE junction,things dont happen by chance!

2010-01-04T00:56:00.009+08:00

The way I see it,2010 will be a LIFE junction in my life because as a man(i hit big 21 this year),the age of 20-30,it is the decade where you plan and make things happen. Consider all these event and when they usually happen:

-Establishment of your career(no money,no honey... How about the ladies' 5Cs?or is it 7 now?)
-Finding the right partner(both business and wife)
-your marriage(to your wife and your in laws. Oh hell yeah...)
-your finance
-your family

Basically, I feel these are events that will eventually shape up your life and who you become. The scariest thing about it that it is your own responsibility, and there is only so much your parents and loved ones can do for you at this point in your life. It is about taking up your own responsibility.

I 'managed' to ORD 3weeks ago and I got to make decisions as to what i am going to do with my life,with my studies and future. All along I always thought i want to do economics or business course but honestly deep down I was not feeling so sure about doing it. When ORD drew closer, I got even more worried because I don't see a clear direction that I got to take in this 'junction'. I had no idea what I want to study,I needed directions BIG TIME.

Being a Christian(I never shared my religion on this blog), I am taught that nothing happens by chance and there is a God who is all-knowing. Even many friends whom i talk to also because there is a 'higher power' somewhere(mind you,they are not Christians). As Christians, we believe in prayer and fasting, and when we seek, we will surely find. My good friends and I decided to fast and pray for a week before I went off to Indonesia on the 13th of December. I specifically prayed for a few things:
1)My friends i wanted to bring for Christmas service.
2)My study plan(Location and the course specifically that i should take)
3)My shirt business plan I am starting this year.

Coincidentally,that week was the morning prayer meetings as well. I strongly believe that when you in facing a LIFE junction, never ever leave anything to chance. The fact is God knows His plans for you,and you will have control of your own life. Your life is crafted by the decisions you made and will make in the future!

So what exactly happen and my plan for the future?

During my trip to Indonesia, I attended my parents' school Christmas service and it seemed to hit me that there is so much that can be done in the education system in Indonesia. Technology can change a society for a while, but I personally believe it is education that will stay with an individual forever. Is Indonesia not good enough? I pray someday that I will be equipped to nurture and structure the education system in my parents' school and subseuqntly Jakarta,so that the students will have a holistic education!

With that, the confession that I applied for university in Australia,Monash. I think many were shocked, but because if I stayed in Singapore, I am bonded by MOE for a good 4 years. Furthermore, studying in Australia will expose me to yet another different education system.

I think many of my friends are at my age, facing a similar LIFE function as well. Grab hold of the opportunities around you, and don't leave your future to chance. If you believe in a God,seek for His directions. If you don't, explore your options and be wise in your decisions! I believe we will do great things in our lifetime!

Well, I made my decision at this junction. Please keep me in prayer. I know this dream may be daunting and impossible, but I know with Him, and the right friends around me, I can do it. One day, slowly but surely... I will achieve it!!

'No matter what happens,
here i am standing,
on the hope of Your words,
Promised to me...'

Are men indeed pigs or Tigers?

2009-12-06T19:59:00.011+08:00

Tiger Woods got quite a bit of headlines and more and more women are claiming a piece of him(and some cash).I am an avid new paper reader and a certain lady called men pigs! I believe she called 'pig' because of anger towards past experience, like how some boys will use descriptive words like 'shi*' and 'F***'. If it is for the nature of how a pig mates, she should have called men baboons. Quoting wikipedia, male baboons can mate with any female baboons! Come to think of it, are men really pigs? Or are they Tigers? hurr...hur...

I personally think the only difference why baboons can do that and men cannot is because of marriage. Marriage has given an emotional attachment to mating. If you go to the zoo and is 'fortunate' enough to see LIVE action, you realize that they mate and leave! They is no cuddle, there is no communication. NOTHING! Animals mate just for reproduction with no string attached. On the other hand, men are designed to mate not just due to physical attraction, but emotional attachment as well.

Is it fair then to blame Tiger? After all, he has built his reputation as a world class sportsman and a family man!

1) We often relate affairs to men. I don't know why, but there is higher percentage of men having affairs than women. I believe it is because of the situation men are in. Men goes to work daily, while women stay home to raise the kids. That is the ideal family situation. At home, you only have your maid, kids and dog. At work, you got many more interesting 'encounters'. You meet clients, you attend meetings and you have interesting colleagues. Throw in the spices like fatigue, stress and overtime(OT), you will be amazed how powerful the term 'That's what friends are for' is when manifested.

With this new era that we are going into, women getting more educated, getting themselves into the corporate world, women will soon be exposed to such 'encounters' mentioned above. For sure, unless something is done in the mind, the numbers of women having affairs will also catch up with those affairs done by men!

2) I think temptation comes with the tempted and the tempter. That is how it works in the mating kingdom right? A male baboon will only mate with a female baboon that is ready to mate(the big huge red ass)! Likewise, a man will only mate with a lady who displays herself as ready to mate. We haven't heard of a man having an affair with an old woman! Look at the women who stepped forward to claim a piece of Tiger. They are tall, slender and have fabulous bodies. Their dress sense make them attractive as well. It is almost likely that these ladies 'avail' themselves to Tiger. Tiger is the first billionaire sportsman. He has endorsements in their millions. He has fame that made him one of the most influential personnel in the World. Now which lady do not want him?

In a previous post about attraction, studies have shown that a woman who just ended her menstrual cycle will be more likely to dress more revealing at a party, compared to when she is in her period. As we all know, when she ends her cycle, it is a new ovulating cycle. I find this study interesting because it does show that human behave very much like animals!

3) Last, and most importantly, people got to change their minds. With all that I shared above, I think the only thing that will stop such things is if the sovereignty of marriage is restored. Marriage is after all a commitment to love and to only love one partner. Unlike animals, God gave human the gift of choices. We choose who we marry,who and what we commit to and we choose whether we allow temptations to crept into our situations.

Then again, women are more educated, they have a career, they are more independent. Will they see the need to have a man to support her? After all, what if men are pigs? Why commit and marry in the first place if commitments are not deemed precious? I believe it is a severe social issue. The only victims are the children, and it will bear emotional and psychological consequences in their upbringing and how they perceive love, marriage and life. It will all then be clockwork, a viscous cycle...

What values am I appreciating?

2009-11-20T15:33:00.011+08:00

I saw some nasty comments on my blog in my previous post. If you're looking for them I deleted them haha! Well, I still think this blog shall remain PG. Well, the person posted as anonymous and doesn't it strike you how destructive criticism always come from an anonymous source? Then again, only friends will give constructive criticism because they care for you. The funny thing is that what the person commented has no relevance to what I shared in the previous post. Nonetheless, I appreciate his comment, and at least now I know i have an enemy who hates me so much that the person declares it openly.

By the way... Viewing one's blog is an option right? Did this blog come up as a pop-up or something? I don't recall setting such settings... If you don't like what you see, you don't see, doesn't it work that way? Whatever it is, hopefully this isn't your homepage for explorer or firefox! :S

This week, this thought came to me when I was choosing my lunch. I was contemplating the Macdonald's or the sandwich next door. Think about it, I think there more food for thought than just what my lunch had to offer. Excuse the pun please :)
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

When we make decisions, we weigh the situations and their consequences before making a concrete decision. This actually happened to me last week:

1) It is 12.30pm at your office, and there is a MacDonalds just down the street. There is also a hawker center that is situated just above the MacDonalds... What are you going to eat? Hawker center is healthy, but because it is established, air conditioned, mee pork(w/o drink) can cost S$4.50. On the other hand, Macdonalds seem to be having a Year End Sale, with almost every meal costing $4.50! Then again, their food isn't healthy. Now what will you choose?
I think we need to learn to appreciate the thing that is ultimately essential to us. $4.50 meal may seem worth it, because it consists of a drink and obviously more tasty,but it will accumulate to the deterioration of your health! Many times, the true values of something is usually shadowed by the fact that we judge it according to their net worth.

2) How about Starbucks vs Ya Kun? Do you really need drinks from Starbucks that is ridiculously expensive? What if the drink is only made by the new trainee? Will it be worth the $7.40? Yet, we all know drinking your coffee at Starbucks mean that you get comfort, but on the other hand, we really don't need a $7.40 coffee, especially when it is only to-go? How do you have your cuppa?

Has mass media and what it portrays of a certain brand affect your judgment? Of course, if it is for a meeting, you need somewhere that will be comfortable, somewhere that will be appealing to your client or guest. However, there is no need for such expensive drink when you are going to have it 'to-go' don't you think? After all, I suspect 30% of the price is paid to the comfort that you are receiving when you drink in a cafe. The air conditioning, the furnishing, the Wi-Fi available... I admit mass media has perceived how i see brands. I love starbucks, but i will definitely not buy them if i'm having them on-the-go!

Now, what if how you appreciate the true value of something affect your life BIG TIME? For example:

There is a pretty gorgeous girl, but her personality is just downright awful. However, due to her beauty, you are still interested in her! On the other hand, there is this ordinary Jane that you know. You think she has good character and personality, but she is just not someone who will make heads turn. Who will you choose? Will you compromise true values like character and morals with one's beauty and outward appearance? hmmm... Think about it:)

I talked to a friend who was and still is into the night life! He would spend hundreds of dollars each night he goes partying. He would cut down on his eating throughout the week so that he has sufficient finances to supply his need to party and drink. Think how he has compromised the true value of having a healthy balanced diet daily for something that is harmful to his body in the long term anyway. I wouldn't judge him that what he is doing is wrong, what he is doing may not even seem wrong to him.

These scenarios will constantly reappear in our lives. It might be how you handle the business deals, how you treat your friendships/relationships... The values we appreciate in each situation may differ from each individual because of the different priorities in our lives. What do you appreciate the true values in each situation and how will it affect your judgments?

What is your gauge of LOVE?

2009-11-09T20:55:00.007+08:00

This thought hit me quite recently. This thought reminded the ever importance to be wary and choose the right partner for your life. You do not want to make mistakes with your judgments and make a wrong decision that not only will you regret, but hurt others at the same time! If i were to answer this very question i post, I think it is to be with someone who can adapt to changes, but not to adapt alone, but to adapt to changes TOGETHER. Nothing is guaranteed in our world today, learn from the past, treasure today and expect and prepare tomorrow!

We all know what Love means and its implications in our lives. However, have you thought what is it that make us love someone? What is that 'invisible pull of attraction' that brings you two together and closer? What is it that creates the 'magnetic field' when your face gets close to hers?

1) Men would agree it has to be physical appearance. Who will ever say 'NO' to Fiona Xie or Megan Fox? Some of us love girls with 'admirable' chests. Some of us love girls with long, slender legs. The fact is... We depend a lot of our judgments based on their features and appearance. Even in this generation, many will still deny this, but check out your hottest friend, and the number of guys on her facebook. Check out the eyes staring at the girl that you are staring as well on the subway, and you will know what I mean.

2) Ladies on the other hand would see personalities and characters as the force of attraction. His wits, humor make her heart beat that tad bit faster. Some of them like serious, matured men, while some prefer one who is jovial and humorous. The confidence of the man, the charm he carries attracts the fairer sex. Everyone differs in personalities and characters. Thank God for that! People like me still stand a slim chance out there in the world of Love.

3) Well, forget it. There are some who would admit it doesn't matter at all. What really matter is the chemistry between the two human beings. The sparks that sizzle ferociously in each others presence. To this group of people, this is crucial and essential in the attraction between the two people. It depends on that first encounter. The 'atmosphere' or 'ambiance' is all that important!

Do you agree with me? Aren't these familiar reasons why you love someone, or what you are loving for in that special someone? Well, that is what I thought...

Now consider this: One day, beauty will wrinkle and sag... Characters and personalities can change some day... The sparks that once sizzle can fade away!! Now the question again! What is it are you looking for in a partner?

When this thought struck me, honestly, I do NOT have my own answer! If all that we thought are the gauge of love, then how accurate can they be? Are we then going to believe that love is really blind?

Write to me here on your views, or write to my email at raymondongsg09@hotmail.com. :)

The price of Happiness

2009-11-07T15:49:00.010+08:00

What exactly is happiness and under what circumstance can we use happiness as a gauge of our current feelings/emotions?

Happiness is defined as: pleasure; good fortune, contentment; joy

The definition is actually an answer of the few reasons why people are happy! We are happy because of pleasure( knowing we are good, the 'feel good' feeling when everything working accordingly to your plan), good fortune( when we know we might not have deserved it, yet still get it) and contentment( being satisfied with what we got, not needing to worry of inadequacy). Sometimes, happiness come with a price. I'm not too sure if this is ever true, but i have heard of 'good things never come free and easy'!

Did you watch how Jenson Button celebrate his World Champion title? have you watched how Tiger Wood punched the air at the 18th hole when he wins a major? Have you watched Federer collapsed on the court when he win game point? Their happiness came at the price of injuries, effort, sacrifice and lots of trainings!

In this entry post, I don't want to talk about happiness by pleasure or contentment, rather on good fortune. I want to share a hard lesson I learn from my father. When i was 15, I was into an activity called gambling. I did not exactly gamble because I was underage, but I would ask my friends to purchase bets on football( My pastime) almost on a weekly basis. It might be just $5 or $10, but I bet on multiple matches, some of which have the odds of 4.5. That means if I have put $10, I would win $45 dollars if my prediction was correct. Yes, it was good money, and it was definitely easy money.

It might be sick, but I always feel happy watching matches when the team I bet on win. The happiness it gives me is somewhat 'pleasurable' and 'satisfying'. I continued for a while, and I am sure you know it is impossible to hide anything from your parents for too long... My father found out, and pulled me into his room for a talk.

I remembered his words vividly: Son, when you gamble, be in on soccer or a gambling table, when you win on a bet of 4.5, where do you your other 3.5 comes from? It comes from other people's loss. Imagine those people who are severely addicted to gambling( I told him I wasn't addicted to it)... They bet their assets on these matches, and when they lose, you are gaining what they lost. The key idea he brought to me is that The price of your happiness might be at the expense of others' misery!

This is true in relationships. Fine, we know all is fair in the game of love, there might not exactly be rules in the game of love, but surely there are respect and understanding?? Boys and girls, don't be a third party in a relationship and marriage. YOU WILL KNOW IT when you crossed the comfort line in a friendship. Step back, be a gentleman and respect other's relationship(HAHA, I AM NOT GUILTY HERE)! Don't make it in a way that for you to fulfill your love tank, you make someone else miserable and broken heart. We all know the circumstances and the state of minds this can lead too! :(

This is true in your workplace. As competitive as it may be for the prestigious one spot for promotion, it should be fought with effort and honesty. Don't gossip or back stab one another just to be 'in front'. Even if you win the spot, people will not like or even respect you!

I think what I shared can be related to everything in life. Everyone of us deserve to have a chance at our happiness. Happiness takes effort and sacrifice, no doubt about that. However,let us not gain our happiness at the expense of others' misery. True happiness is in the state of mind.

There is neither happiness nor misery in the world; there is only the comparison of one state to another, nothing more. He who has felt the deepest grief is best able to experience supreme happiness. We must have felt what it is to die, that we may appreciate the enjoyments of life. -Alexandre Dumas

Why girls don't go army (part 2)

2009-11-06T10:47:00.009+08:00

Men are blessed with a physique which is meant to be imposing, tough and strong. Therefore, I think this is the #2 reason why men are called to do national service. This definitely make sense. In the olden days, armours don't only act as a body shield, they also give the solider a manipulative figure, with their ridiculously broad shoulders, tall height etc.

2) Physical Physique. Everyone knows a fearsome and competent soldier needs to carry an imposing image, one that would strike fear into people. After all, we all heard of deterrence military? We don't really fight, but we do 'show' what we are capable of! Although I have seen my fair share of girls who are more than capable of doing what the guys do in army, I would still believe that to obtain a big group of people who are capable of carrying out the physically demanding duties, the men are the best choice!

The two physical activities we are all too familiar with are the SOC and IPPT! While IPPT test the soldier's fitness level, the SOC test the soldier's combat fitness. If you have been to the recruit's enlistment day @ Tekong Resort, you would have noticed the obstacle course. You might think it is easy, because you think they looked like monkey bars and things guys LOVE to do., but it is far from being easy.

1)The obstacles are not as easy as it looks. The bars on the monkey bar are further apart from one another, and in such random arrangement. The balancing log isn't as easy because your panting does not assist your balancing act. The height of our jumps and climbs can be terrifying for those who have a phobia for heights!

2) We do a 1.5km run along with the obstacles. Children run to hang around at the playground with a distance less than 100m, while we actually run 1.5km!! Mind you, this isn't like how we chase the bus at bus stops( only in jeans and tee)! We wear helmet, our 'Armour' and our rifle! If the word 'Ouch' comes to mind, you are right!

3) The third fact, which is the most interesting and fun fact is that if you fail to meet the timing, you got to do it ALL OVER AGAIN, on a separate day! Yes, the laundry, the smell, the fatigue, all over again!

Now, it is almost impossible for so many girls to clear this kind of obstacle course. The muscle and bone structures of women are just not meant to do these physical activities. If you have went through National Service, you would have known about all the horrifying injuries related to the obstacle course. Now fast forward and ask yourself in the shoe of a father, would you bear your daughter to suffer such injuries? If it is severe, how do you plan to marry her off?

Women in our generation are known to be really pampered. Gone are the days where regardless of your sex, you are at the farm plowing and doing work! Nowadays, it is so common to see men carry the girl's handbag! So don't complain that girls are not in army. Of course, unless you are willing to carry their rifles during SOC, and their field pack during road march? You choose! :P

Key to problem solving: No UPSIZE!

2009-11-01T18:11:00.010+08:00

I had this inspiration while talking to a friend few days ago when this friend shared with me some difficulties this friend is having! Would you not agree that when we do think of the problems and difficulties that need our immediate attention, they seem very 'big' and almost impossible to resolve? Have you felt that way?

I used to do track and field in the sprints department, and people keep saying life is like a marathon... A long distance race! I actually disagree. I think it is like steeplechase! There will be times when you are thrown with a problem, a hurdle and you need to find a solution to overcome and jump over it! Tiring? yes. Boring? yes. Depressing? Sometimes. I quote my friend: No life is a bed of roses. none.

Imagine an emotional teenager's stressed out mind:

I just completed my exams and I don't think I did a good job. I am worried for my results. I'm going to enlist to NS in 1 month(there goes my freedom), and I still owe someone money for the soccer bets i gambled on last month. I'm also worried my girlfriend will love an ORD personnel more than a soldier. My best friend is too busy with his Christmas plans because he enlist in April to even hear me out. My dad just got into a fight with my mum and I was like a messenger during breakfast. To make things worse, the bus uncle drove the bus off when I just reached the bus stop just now on the way here.

Okay, this kind of statement would probably have played in your mind before, or you have heard someone tell/whine to you in this manner before. Even when you read it, you would actually think that is really a lot of things that this fellow is going through. I realised the key to minimize the issues is to break it down. Try it out! If we break down the above mentioned, there are actually only FOUR substantial 'problems' he is in right now:

1)I'm worried for my exams.( What is done is done, and it is over. There really isn't anything you can do other than to pray)
2)I owe someone money.( This is actually the only issue that he needs to focus on at this point of time)
3) girlfriend loving an ORD personnel more than me.( You are in no position to dictate who she meets, who she likes, who she go out with. Speaking of losing a girlfriend in NS, you can always look for me, haha)
4)Parents got into a fight.(I personally think there isn't much a child can do when their parents fight, but to be a good child. Show them you are a good filial child, and them fighting for the marriage will be worth it)

I really don't know if it is your mind or your eyes, but when you see the whole issue broken down into point form, it really isn't as 'big' as it seemed to be! The other thing I realised is that when you have problems, every small thing that is NOT going YOUR WAY will become a a new problem! That is why the statement mentioned included a)the bus b)Best friend going for holiday. These things just happen to be unfortunate due to the coincidental clash of timings.

Breaking down your problems into point form next time will probably help you realise that things are not as bad as it seemed to be. Being an economics student, breaking down your issues will also assist you with one of the most important component of economics of scale: Division of FOCUS! Take a deep breath, free your mind and write down your problems into point form, and focus on those that is really actually affecting you!

*Disclaimer: if the above quoted story is related to any person in reality or fiction is due to absolute coincidence. The post is in no way meant to relate to any specific person.

Why girls are not in army?

2009-10-29T10:09:00.005+08:00

With 5 more week to ORD, i thought of 5 reasons why girls are not in army. Guys u will learn the 5 lessons we all can bring out of army! Girls may protest against it, while men may not agree with it, but I think it made sense... Enjoy!

Ahh... Interesting topic? Yes indeed. GCE A level had just finished a week ago, the girls are planning on exciting 'shop-till-you-drop' trips to exotic locations like Bangkok, Hong Kong and Taiwan. Their excitement spill over onto the virtual world, with outrageous, 'rub-salt-in-your-wound' status updates on social websites like twitter, facebook and MSN messenger...

Unfortunately, the A level gloomy skies haven't been lifted off the boys. Now they ponder on what National Service has in store for them! The stories they heard from friends, tales told by their proud fathers(although they refuse to go for reservice). Their choice of holiday destionation: Pulau Tekong! WELCOME TO TEKONG! The only place other than prison(excuse the pun) that offers free food, free lodging, personal fitness regime and ridiculously cheap haircuts!

Why girls don't need to protect the country?

Yes it is unfair! Sometimes, life isn't all fair and square! Our lives are not always fair because the earth we live in isn't square(haha)! Well I refuse to be all pessimistic and upset with why girls don't need to don the green uniform like the Singapore men! I CHOOSE to believe this army experience that all men will go through will transform them into a better being, one that is tolerant, patient, capable and matured! It is only to our benefit...

1) Emotional Capacity. it is proven that women are more vulnerable and prone to have emotional attachment than men!

If you ever observed your friends, you would have noticed that women are by far the more emotional specimen of human kind. I honestly cannot imagine girls being confined in camp for 2weeks, not being able to carry mobile phone wherever they go before last parade! They would go crazy. As independent as they can be, women do need companion BIG TIME. That being said, I also believe they will make friends faster than men if they do enlist into the army. They will make friends within the platoon faster than they learn to tie their bootlaces!( Guys, you can now confess how long it took before you warm up to your buddy)

Of course, we are all just mere human beings who are driven by emotions. All attached men who enlisted will know how heavy our hearts felt saying goodbye every Sunday 1900hrs after dinner! The feeling to lay down on your bed, stare into the ceilings, the 'tad..tad..tad..' noise created by the fans... In more severe circumstances, laying inside the very hole you dug, rifle resting on your chest, stars shining brightly in the skies, the flapping of the mosquitoes' wings whistling in your ears periodically... We do miss our girlfriends in the better 'world' out there. The sense of helplessness when she needed someone to talk to, and there is nothing you can do in camp that can make her feel any better. How about the Wednesday nights when she called just to inform you of her mambo plans? If people out there ever think that men are ever secure creatures, they will be amazed at the amount of tears shed going on in the silent hours of the night! :P

Now, imagine what would be the response of women if the officers and sergeant majors scold and shout at them with the most fanciful languages ever created in our MTV generation? Are soldiers going to fall in to be scolded with their rifles or tissue boxes? How many para-counselors is the SAF going to hire if women are enlisted to do National Service? Don't get me wrong, women are not emotionally vulnerable, but the harshness and treatment men endured in army can be deemed as downright 'MEAN' and 'BIATCH' by many women.

#1 Lesson learn from army
Men, accept everything that comes your way. When your commanders scold you, yell at you, punish you...Most of the time, you do not understand it, you do not know why you deserve it, but this patience and tolerance you experienced will be useful in your future relationships! The next time you quarrel with your girlfriend,you probably do not understand why she is so upset over trivial matters, why you deserved the cold treatment, but instead of making matters worse, you would have learn to accept things first(until things get better), before explaining yourself to her!! a.k.a Do push-up FIRST,talk to Sir in his cubicle LATER. Listen to what your girlfriend has to say, explain to her later :)

Build your kingdom

2009-10-12T14:06:00.011+08:00

Have you wondered why human loves to fantasize about having connections with the royal blood in them? Men like to be called a king/prince? For example,Price Charming? Why then do girls like to be referred to as princesses? I suspect this actually has to do with how we see ourselves! Search and observe deep within yourself, and you will find out that we actually have our very own 'protected realm' in our soul that we subconsciously preserve, protect and guard very closely! I believe that is the mini 'kingdom' that we have in our personal lives.

As much as our world has evolved with technology, this little 'kingdom' within us is actually as ancient as it can be! Yes, it must have been like those that has high walls and only one entry-exit point because it is so well protected and covered that our friends wouldn't know,and we at times wouldn't know ourselves!

kingdom is defined in dictionary.com as 1. A state or government having a king or queen as its head. 2.Anything conceived as constituting a realm or sphere of independent action or control and influence.

The things we do keep in this 'kingdom' are in fact the ones that we control and protect. Believe it or not, our life can actually be centered around this little 'kingdom' of ours! It definitely has the ability to engineer the thoughts you think and the actions you do! Like the definition of the word, whatever is in your 'kingdom' has the ability to influence and control the actions and outcome in your life. Now, what are you building in this 'kingdom' of yours?

1) Money. This is very common among many people! The fact is-We need money to survive on this earth. It is in fact such a powerful tool that I think money is the closest thing to be the currency of love! When you love someone, you lavish the person with gifts. I have yet to know of anyone of giving gifts(let alone costly ones) because he doesn't like that particular person. A parent supports a child financially for his studies and living because they love the child! They believe in the child, love them and want to see the child have a future.

Unfortunately, the same way how money can buy attachment to your emotions,the same way money can 'buy' your ethics. More often than not, people never get satisfied with what they have, and they get greedy! We never hear of people saying 'Enough' to their businesses, discouraging customers to pay them money for the goods they sell! In fact, the bigger the company, the more they will charge you! Your Creative music player may cost you S$200,but apple cost you $500 for their ipods. Apple is the second richest in the Rich-list now, but do they need to charge so much?Don't they have ENOUGH money already? No, because they want more, they need more to invest in R&D and come up with new products to make them RICHER.

This mechanism of self dissatisfaction is exactly the one that ignite cases of corruptions,cheating and robbing all over the world. If money is indeed this 'kingdom' that you cherish in your life, be careful not to allow money to control your life. Subconsciously, it may even be your priority, without you knowing that you compromise all other good things in life like ethics and friendships! You are to control your possession, not the other way around!

2)Philosophies and beliefs. It is somewhat important that we have these to be part of our mini 'kingdoms'. Everyone of us has a set of beliefs and 'rules' that we abide to. It might be in the form of your religion, or it might be a set of beliefs that you are brought up with in your living environment. Whatever they are, LIVE BY IT! No religion will teach their devotees to kill, cheat or lie! Likewise, no parents would teach their child to rape, kill or rebel.

However, I feel that there need to be a balance if this is in your 'kingdom'. Too much of this and people will see you as 'freaky' and definitely unapproachable, but none of these and your life will seem directionless and there is no moral compass for your soul! Somehow, I personally believe philosophies and beliefs are important because they are the one that gives you a hope and a future. When we look ahead, there really isn't anything that is for certain,and though it may not be obvious,it is our beliefs and philosophies in life that give us a sense of hope.

For example,take a man who knows the future requires him to overcome numerous obstacles. His philosophy in life is: A champion is not one who never fails, but one who never quits. His mind will immediately give him that sense of hope, and his fear of failure will probably not be as magnified as before!!

3)Your lifestyle. I think this is the most common one! How you live your life, it is how it will unfold for you! Gandhi once said 'You are made of your thoughts. If you think of IT, you will become IT!' Isn't this the case in our society? A child with a broken family(without any psychological/emotional assistance) will grow up having resentment towards love and marriage. A person who failed miserably in school/work, made worse with the criticism he received from peers will feel really lousy about himself in the future. These people has inevitably put the negativity of their past and circumstances into their little 'kingdoms'!

It is sad because the next time they are faced with a situation and they dig within their 'kingdom' and see their 'armour of shame', they have lost the war before even fighting a battle! Never build a kingdom of failures!! Pick up the sword and the shield and fight that battle like how a true warrior king will fight!

------------------------------------------------------------

I believe there are many other things that may occupy your mini 'kingdom' but I shared these three because they are very true in my own personal life! I would not want to say which is the best,and which is the one that truly should have the priority and right in our 'kingdom'. This is a personal choice each one of us has to make, because you are the king of your OWN 'kingdom'.

As for me,I believe a life need to be balanced. All three will inevitably play a major role in my life and my future, but it is important to keep check that I do not go to their extremes! I believe we will all be good rulers of our 'kingdom' that our lives will be lives with destiny and purpose! :)

Raymond for Miss World please! :)

2009-10-02T09:12:00.018+08:00

I found out this post had been sitting in the draft for ages! Well, you have heard about the incident and how she literally made herself so popular(not by reality show, but by a PAGEANT), and how she single handedly created her own dictionary that would put Oxford, and 'cOxford' to shame! If you still don't know what I am talking about, this is her:

As much I thought this was ridiculous, some things still puzzled me!! She is an educated girl, and we all know these beauty queens have this aura that exudes composure and confidence! Why did she speak in that manner? Did she forget that she was on camera and that the tape is rolling? Probably not. After all, the interviewer stuck that long pipe-like microphone into her face!

1) Singaporeans are too critical about our representatives? It is part of our DNA to be 'kaypoh'! Miss Low won the pageant among many other girls, and regardless of what was in the video, I'm sure there was a Q&A segment in the competition that accumulated to her overall score that brought her the victory! The way I see it, the incident just made a mockery out of the competition's judging panel, the participants of this year's competition and the whole branding of 'Miss World'.

On the other hand, let's give credit where credits are due. It is definitely not easy walking on stage in bikini for all to see, answering questions that don't seem to make sense and smiling throughout the whole show(sometimes I wonder if they needed jaw surgery after the show)! People commented on Rachel Kum's Orchid gown that was designed by a local designer not too long ago. Rachel has Miss Low to thank because her English brought all the juicy zappers of media upon herself! No wonder parents and girls will think twice about going for such auditions! Will you want to join a pageant and risk weathering a media 'tsunami' bombardment that comes wave after wave? I'm not defending anyone, but Singapore actually has its fair share of pretty girls(If guys say Singaporean girls are 'CMI', notice their eyes the next time they go Orchard)! Give these models a break. Allow them to live their dreams, while we seat back and appreciate God's creations.

2) Who is the superficial one? Models are often categorized to be pretty human beings that God might have forgotten to install the brains in them a.k.a bimbos. It is quite sad that these people are associated with terms like shallow, materialistic, empty vase, dumb and the list goes on. Their looks are God-given! I believe they didn't choose their genes, and they definitely didn't pray to look good so that people will look down on them! In fact, many of us want to look half as good-looking as them!

Who are we to judge who these people are? Are we going to judge a young teenager(19 years old) whether she is worthy of representing Singapore just because of her English? The whole idea of the video is supposed to be candid and casual, after all, it was meant for RazorTV( an equivalent to youtube). And come on... When she represent Singapore on the international stage, she will just be answering one Q&A question. I highly doubt they will do candid behind the scene interview for a girl who is from a small sunny island called Singapore, would they? In case you didn't know how worthy a winner she is, these are a few of her other titles prior to Miss World Singapore 2009 from wikipedia:

Miss Community Ambassadress 2009
Miss Lumiere Ambassadress 2009
Miss Best Dressed 2009
Miss Dazzling Eyes 2009
Miss Photogenic 2009
Miss Crowning Glory 2009
Miss Best in Catwalk 2009

This girl is a community ambassadress, knows how to dress, has the eyes, has the face and smile for cameras, has the GLORY, and knows how to catwalk... And people are judging her and saying she is not worthy of representing Singapore? WHAT ARE WE THINKING! If I were her grass root leader, I will recommend that pageants in Singapore has a new prize category called the 'Miss Best English' in the upcoming parliament meeting!

------------------------------------------------------------------

All said and done, she gave up her crown after the credit card fraud incident. I really hope we will not be a bunch of people that smashes the dreams of our friends! There are things that are unacceptable... But to criticize someone for her English? Somehow, I am thankful she got caught for her credit card fraud and that she gave up her title. After all, how much confidence do you think she will have left if she continue to go for Miss World pageant representing Singapore, knowing her supporters ridiculed her back home?

To all aspiring models and pageant contestants, my number one advice- Try not to open your mouth, only one question and the following should ALWAYS be your ONLY answer:

' I want to win because I believe in World peace, sharing the love and hope that everyone deserves. Of course, World peace will not happen if we do not first conserve our World! I will do my utmost to promote environmental friendly campaigns! Lastly, I will stand up for the women rights because I believe they are the unsung heroes in our society that mould the young minds of the future generations. Thank you!' *Exit with a beaming smile*

Things you didn't know about your decisions!

2009-09-21T12:23:00.015+08:00

If human thin-slice everything they see, wouldn't that make our world a cake? hmm...

Our mind is a powerful organ that God has given to every single one of us. It determines the outcomes in your lives, and it is the organ that organize, analysis every situation and the course of action we will take. It even determines your emotions! Your heart will love a person, but it is your mind that tells you that a certain someone is attractive.

I am reading this book called 'BLINK' by Malcolm Gladwell! I think it generally talks about how human can decide in an instance with their subconscious mind. That is also where the word 'thin slicing' comes about. Wikipedia describes the term as: Our ability to gauge what is really important from a very narrow period of experience a.k.a spontaneous decisions. I'm not too sure but I think it is like making a decision based on first impression. The scary thing about it is that it is happening all around you ALL THE TIME! :S

It is fascinating how a mind works! Answer this question:

A father drove his son to school. They met in a fatal car accident. The father died, while the son suffered serious injuries. He was brought to the hospital A&E! Upon arrival, the doctor looked at the boy and said, 'That is my son'! Now,who on earth is the doctor?

This is not the father. This is Malcolm Gladwell, the author.

Initially I thought it is the step-father. But well, the doctor is the mother! Isn't it funny how we associate doctors to be men and not women? Call it favoritism but because of the environment we live in, the social influences in our lives, our minds have already predetermined for us that doctors are male. It is the same how in America, people see the Africans or Mexicans to be inferior to the whites! The same in Asia. We are accustomed to the fact that maids are either Indonesians or Filipino. Would you have believed if the housekeeper of a typical family is a Chinese or Caucasian? There can be instances, but they are rare.

From the quiz above, your mind has subconsciously thin-slice the idea that doctors should not be female, and that domestic workers should be Africans, Mexicans, Indonesians or Filipino. The ability of thin slicing can be useful and efficient when it comes to decisions that require instant decisions and little time for considerations, but I think it can be harmful in some instances as well. Let me share my thoughts on this book:

1) What impressions are we giving to others? It is believed that the outcome of an interview is decided in the 3minutes you entered the room. That is why we dress up for an interview! Did you know that of the CEO of the Fortune 500 list, the average male CEOs are just under 6 feet tall?Whether we like it or not, first impression counts for almost everything. Gladwell talked about how people can tell a person's characteristic from facial expressions almost immediately! Isn't that very true? In the movies, when a man tells the actress 'I love you', she is ALWAYS look at him in the eyes. Why? It is because his facial expression will show his sincerity! Likewise, when you shake a person's hand and he/she looks down while introducing himself, you can tell that he has very little self esteem!

It is frightening to think that people thin slice the moment they see you! The way you carry yourself, the way you speak and behave in front of others! What impression do you want to give to others? An image that you don't take things seriously and cannot be taken seriously? Or are you being seen as someone who is snobbish and stuck up?

2) How do we see others? Now that I shared how we should give a good impression on others, how are YOU judging and thin slicing others? Let's admit it! On the first day of school,when nobody knows nobody... A bespectacled, pimply, short boy with buck tooth, hands full of notes and book walk along the corridor. What immediately come to your mind? NERD? Yes. As much as we want to be a nice person, our minds have subconsciously decided on how we classify the person!

My reflection on this is it may be decisive to tell of a person who may have bad intentions, but this ability to judge others subconsciously can actually be to our disadvantage. Take a person who does sales at the nearby mall. Do you realize that if you dress up( long sleeve and pants), you are more likely to be approached than when you are in your berms and tee? Well, if you are doing business, are you quick to judge a customer? If a customer walks into your car/flat showroom in berms and singlet, are you going to disqualify him of being a potential customer? Gladwell shared his experiment of this car showroom in America. It is proven that there is a higher chance of an employee attending to a customer if he is white compared to a black. Isn't that depressing? Never judge and classify your customers. You will never know when a walk-in will be your potential customer. In fact, most of the time, the only thing that stops a customer/walk-in from 'window shopping' and 'shop hopping' is the service and attitude of the workers!

3) Thin Slicing is not the ONLY solution. If you haven't realized by now, every book will only support its own thesis( They are not your GP essays)! Obviously, Gladwell promoted his idea of thin-slicing. On numerous occasions, i was almost carried away with the idea that maybe, JUST maybe, the best solutions and decisions we will make is when the processing is done in an instance, when we thin slice! Yes it is true that having too much data and information can disrupt you from the main focus of the situation and the 'extra' factors thrown into the equation when making a decision may end up with you making an inaccurate decision. However, thin slicing CANNOT be done all he time!

How do you thin slice your marriage partner? Will you know her family background from the way she dress? Will you from her financial status know whether she lives in a happy family? How do you thin slice the future path that you will take? What does each university, each course has to offer from looking at the internet? We live in a world where our decisions will bring about our consequences, and sometimes there are decisions that we cannot just thin slice simply because the consequence is too great!

If you read the book, Gladwell started with the story of how some people can tell if the statue is fake the moment they looked at the fingers etc. Well, I guess that story says it all. As much as thin slicing can be accurate, the museum sent the statue around the world for different people's perspectives. That alone is gathering more knowledge and not merely deciding due to a person's instinct and thin slice.

Friendships and their farewells!

2009-09-15T23:22:00.022+08:00

It is kind of funny that people around me started to leave! No, they are not leaving me, how can they bear to do that? It started with 2LT(NS) Ng Jing Song who flew off to Duke for his scholarship, followed by my sergeants in my platoon who ORD, followed by Miss Cicilia from my church cell group. All of them are great people who really impacted my life in one way or another.

I need to share with you the logic of 'ice kachang'! When I look back and think of them, it is a mixed feeling you know? Something you can associate with ice kachang! I am sad because they would leave and our level of communication would decrease(the beans in ice kachang! YUCKS) and we will somehow inevitably distant. I'm sure it is the same for any of your friendships as well! Yet at the same time, I am happy because it is for their better(the ice and syrup!).

I learn that friendships are built on communication. Rightly so. Look at your secondary school buddies. You spent all the days' recess with them, yet after that when you go your separate ways, suddenly these buddies just disappear. They have their own friends, you have your own friends. I always complain to my friends that the friends you spend time with keep changing. It seem to me that it is decided by the phase of life you are in!

Let's face it, it is always easier to make friends! As long as you blend initiative and courage together, you would have already made a new friend. With platforms like twitter, blog and facebook, it is even easier to make friends that are only a few 'clicks' away! For all the convenience of doing a two-way introduction, maintaining a friendship is never easy! Effort, time and money are needed to catch up or follow on your friends' lives. People really don't care how much you know until they know how much you care!

It is saddening to see my friends leave, at times even difficult to accept! Let me share with you what goes through my mind to help me accept the fact that they are moving on:

1) Look back and be thankful. I honestly believe that the only way to stop a person to want more is to look back and appreciate what one has. If it is the same concept with finance,health etc, then it is the same for friendships. Look back and be thankful for having the opportunity to know the person. I am very sure there will be great memories that you can fondly remember!

Jing Song is a gentleman that is more than a friend. He is like a brother. I knew him since primary school, but we only got to know one another in a more personal way in OCS. You asked me what we have been through? We walked 72km together, we wore our long smelly uniform with our faces camo-ed together. We got drunk together during our officer induction programme, although it was our first times. These memories are memories I will remember, and I'm sure they are forever! :)

2) Let it be THE litmus test. A true friend is a friend that is tested. I am not saying we go around testing our friendships, but you will know who are your true friends only after they move on in whatever they do! Despite the fact that communication is minimised, a true friend will put in the effort to keep in touch! It is definitely easier said than done. Will you want to sacrifice your time and effort to meet up with someone you 'cut' communications with 2 years ago, bearing in mind you might not have anything to converse about when you meet??!!

I try my best to keep in contact with my friends whom I haven't meet in the longest of time. My advice is to immediately contact them when your friend left/moved on. Trust me... Most of the time, moving on to something new, somewhere of the unknown can be scary and it is definitely something that is out of their comfort zone. If there is one time they need people by their side, it is when they are trying to settle down. Be the friend who put your arm around, brighten their day with a smile or an ear when they are lonely!

3) They are moving on to do something greatER! I am very sure people decide to move on because they know the new place will offer them to be and to do something greater in their lives. Being a former geography student, let us look at migration! People move to another new place because they know/believe that they will have a higher standard of living in the new location! A nomad will not move to a location that lacks in water and shelter! I know this is the toughest to do, but it is the most true! Instead of feeling sad, be happy for your friend because there are greater challenges, greater obstacles that they will do AND conquer!

This is so true! Jing Song will go to Duke to study and I'm ever so certain that he will come back and change the way the country is governed! My sergeants will go into the civilian world to boost the Singapore economy and Cicilia will one day be a cell group leader herself! Am I sad to see them leave? YES. Am I happy to know that they are going to be someone better in the future? YES. So how? Again, my 'ICE Kachang' logic!

------------------------------------------------------------------

It is fair for me to say that friendship is like a book! For every beginning there will always be an ending! Of course I am not saying that all friendships will come to an end. It is true that every chapter of a person's life will come to an end, but the story of the friendship can continue regardless of which chapter of your life you are in. The thing is YOU decide whether there will be a continuity. You are the author of your own friendships! You decide whether your friendship will be a one-book wonder or will it come in a series? I believe that with hardworking and sacrifices... Just like all serial books, the new series and the new story of your friendship in a new chapter of your life will be more fun, fulfilling, better and stronger than the ones before!

To those I mentioned above, I pray that what I reflected this week on friendships and their farewell will come true in our friendships!

For your information, this was the first time i made a video! It was for Cicilia's farewell! Enjoy it.

Born a leader?? Nurtured to be a leader?

2009-09-10T20:04:00.016+08:00

The past few weeks, I reflected on 'leadership'' and what it means to me. I'm sure in our lives, we have been put in a leader's position at least once. It may be project work, it may be class monitor, it may be a cell group leader, connect group leader, it may be a commander in the army, or the eldest in the family... And the list goes on. Even if you haven't been put in such situations, when you grow up and marry, you will be the leader of your family!

Being in the Armed Forces in this phase of my life, I will admit that going to Officer Cadet School(OCS) was not what I was aiming for. I came from the PTP batch, and I was just eager to boost up the morale of my platoon and prove to them that we can do well in the fitness aspect no matter how and what others think of us. The companion was awesome, but they lacked the mental strength. When we talked about command schools, they condemn the idea that they only select a handful from PTP batch, and that they can't even pass IPPT. By God's grace, I became platoon best, my mates loved me and I went to OCS. Was I shocked? YES.

Now that I'm an officer, I know of men who would hurt themselves because they wanted to down-pes just because they couldn't go to command school!! Was i disheartened to hear this?VERY! Here is Raymond Ong who didn't aim to go to OCS, and here I have a man, a friend who condemn the rest of his 1.5 years of military life just because of a decision that was beyond his control. He tried his best in BMT, and he aimed for it. Should he have taken my place in OCS? What is it about leadership that people want? What is it about leadership that people might not know?

3 things about Leadership

1) Leadership is a big sacrifice. A leader is one who doesn't only takes care of himself, but the rest following him. Their problems become your problems, their pain and joy are your pain and joy. When someone under your charge fell ill, in distress, even if it is in the wee hours , will you help him, or go back to sleep? It is indeed a sacrifice of your efforts, money and time. Will they return you all these? I don't think so. Will you still do it? Yes. I realized a good leader is able to carry his group towards a common goal and vision! Will this corporate goal and vision cost him his/her personal dreams? Look at Obama. To lead his country, he has probably lost almost all his private and personal life. By the way, that includes his family members' private lives. Leadership is doing everything you can for others, and not expecting anything in return, simply because you LOVE them.

Leaders are in a 'special' position because they are able to decide and make their own decisions. Their decisions will determine the outcome of his group and people. It is therefore important for them to uphold the beliefs of their visions, bearing in mind the welfare and integrity of the group. They must be the problem solvers, the ones that people can respect. These are the making of a good leader.

2) Leadership comes with disappointments. Obviously, it is IMPOSSIBLE to please all the people. Will all of them agree with the decisions you make? Will you meet all their requests without compromising your duty as their leader? Sometimes a leader needs to make 'painful' decisions. I think disappointment comes in many ways. Leaders invest their time and effort into the lives of their people and sometimes in return they do things that hurt or disappoint the leader. Again, let us look at Obama! He was well-liked by Americans during elections. Now, he is being flamed by many for the nation's health care system and economical issues! I am very sure he is disappointed the people that supported and voted for him last time no longer trust in his decisions! Is all the disappointment worth it?

I asked my cell group leader how does it feel when a member backslide? Will it affect her as a leader? Does that reflect on her leadership capabilities? Well, she gave an answer I expected. It is impossible to please everyone. Even as leaders, there is so much we can do, the rest is up to every individual themselves! Let us bear in mind that being spiritual leaders isn't easy. Although they are put in leadership positions, their leadership appointment don't have the 'authority' and 'power' to make people do things the those in the military.You can't charge or confine someone for not attending a service. That is why I respect these spiritual leaders. They have so much patience and compassion... Amazing.

3) Leadership takes a lot of patience. I think the reason why you are put into a leadership position is because others believed you are able to 'value-add' into people's lives. It doesn't matter whether it is your wisdom, your knowledge, your beliefs or your motivation. Results never come in an instance. Look at football coaches like Ferguson and Wenger! They are willing to risk results and seasons to groom a player. Well, their patience paid off, and that is why we have Ronaldo and Fabregas the way they are right now!

As an officer, I need to manage the fitness tests of the guys under my charge. Although there are many who got themselves excuses from these tests, there are some who genuinely want to be do it. This gentleman came from the obese batch and he couldn't do even one chin up and people made fun of him. I had a good long chat with him one night and since that day, he kept training hard and 4months later, he managed to do 1-2 chin up without assistance. I am really proud of him. What if I had given up on him after 1 month? I think what leaders really need is a lot of belief and faith. Belief in your plans and men, faith that the actions taken will bring you to the result. Your dreams or visions may not happen overnight, but if you work hard and believe, regardless the duration, the end result will be the same! :)

??Why is leadership worth it then??

There are many reasons why people want to be in a leadership position. It may be the recognition, it may be the higher pay and many others. Personally, if I was offered the chance to be in such a position, it would be because of the sphere of influence a leader has. The reality of life, which may be cruel at times, is that people will always look for direction, purpose and drive in their lives. One person they will look at for all these is none other than the leader in the respective fields( business,mentor, family, church, ministry).

People may see leadership as a high risk, low return 'business'. You need to SACRIFICE, have a lot of PATIENCE with the people you are working with(doesn't matter if you like the person), yet at times of adversities face DISAPPOINTMENTS that may really discourage you. It is easy to fall, and pick yourself up again... But it is even harder when MANY people watched you fall. Will you have the courage and confidence to bring yourself up, even when people ridicule or discourage you?

Looking back thus far in my NS life, my sergeants have ORD. Am I a good leader? Am I a competent one? I cannot say I am an excellent leader, but I know i did my best, ensuring they have their welfare, meeting the tasks expected from my group. I know leadership is something that is not what I am born with, but slowly but surely, with the exposure and experience given to me, I am definitely nurturing myself to be a BETTER leader for the future.

Tribute to my N34 specialists: I will miss you all. It has been a honor to have served you as your Platoon Commander. Thank you for taking care of all our guys. It has brought us thus far, but this chapter in your life has come to an end. Continue to do good, be it in school or work! Enjoy all that you do, and I believe there are great things in store for EVERY single one of you! I'll miss you all! =D boo hoo hoo

The science of Sex Appeals( part 2)

2009-09-01T14:08:00.014+08:00

Security and Status

1) Some people argue that men behave like animals. Well, that is not exactly true. In the animal kingdom, it is the male that do their stuff to impress the female. The peacock show off their feathers, the birds have colorful feathers to attract their mates. Well for human, it is kind of different. The ladies dress up like princesses to attract the guys. If a lady wears a 'sparkling' gown, people see her as beautiful... Tell a man to wear 'sparkling' shirt, he is deemed gay! I'm not too sure if the ladies are complaining because this also mean they are granted frequent shopping trips!

Research background: They showed people on the street a model picture and an ordinary man model. People gave the model a score of 8/10, while people only gave the ordinary man 6/10. The researchers then put a a tag on the man picture that indicates that he earns US$200000/annum as a director executive, while they say that the model earns US$20000/annum as a clerk.

2)Researchers found out that the model initial score of 8/10 suddenly dropped to 6/10 while the ordinary man's score jumped up to 9/10 because of his income and appointment. When asked why their ratings, all the women blatantly said that it is because of their income level.

3) Whether you think they are materialistic or not, the fact is women will look at your financial status to find a soul mate, a husband and a family man. I personally think this is understandable because who would want to settle down in a home that has no food or basic financial securities? For all the colorful feathers a peacock has, men have their 'toys' like technological gadgets and cars! Ironically, women do fancy guys with these 'toys' although they would deny this.

Lesson learn: It is true that human are not like animals. The male flaunt their stuff to impress the ladies. Instead of attracting the women with their 'beauty', men attract the ladies with their security they can provide be it physically, emotionally and financially. A woman will be attracted to a man that can provide for his household. Well, for guys like me, we don't really have much time before we will start sending out invitations. Work hard in whatever you do,get a decent and honest income and PRAY! God will bring the right lady into your life! :)

TOUCH

Research Activity: They did a test on various couple activities like hugging, holding hands and kissing and see which activity actually produces the most 'dopamine' in the body.

1) Did you know that they found kissing to be the most passionate of them all. This is simply because a kiss brings almost all the human senses!!

-When you stare into her eyes(sight)

-When you breathe the thin air between the two of you which probably has her perfume or your cologne(Smell)

-When you whisper and hear sweat nothings from one another( Hearing)

-When his hands go down your spine with 'great love'(Touch)

-When you taste her lipstick(taste, HAHA Kidding.)

Lesson learn: Safe it for your loved one, and make it special in every kiss. We are still in a society that still appreciate hand shakes. This doesn't mean that we can now go around kissing people. Of course, the next time you shake hand, please give a firm hand shake. It exudes your confidence in yourself! :)

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Then how long will sex appeal last, and where would love stand?

1) The thing that keeps a man with 1 partner, which kind of make us special from animals is this substance called: 'vessaprasin'. The funny thing is it is associated with the kidney. I seriously have no idea if people with kidney failures will not be able to stay with one partner? Cannot be what right?

Reseach Activity: They put a man who just fell in love in a MRI scan, putting a picture of his girlfriend, and then a picture of a friend.

2) When he saw the picture of his girlfriend, the cell that produced 'dopamine' is activated by the cell in the brain that engages in cravings and recalling of past experiences!! What this means is that a human brain is able to read a person who they are personally affectionate with, and by their experiences and time spent together, the brain then secretes the same substance that causes someone to have the sexual attraction to the other.

3) They did the same thing to a 50 year old man who has been married for over 20 years. The good news is that the same part that creates the 'dopamine' still creates 'dopamine' when the picture of his wife is shown! This concludes that attraction is always there, regardless how long you have been in the relationship.

Then are we created just like animals? Why have a sex appeal, so that we find a partner who has the 'perfect' genes to produce your 'perfect' offspring? Is Sex and its appeal created for the sake of reproduction?

Well, God created human in a way that is very different from animals. Sex appeal is created in animals purely for reproduction. Female spiders EAT UP their male after intercourse(Talk about violence by women)... Human on the other hand, is created to have a family, to have more than a sex partner! In the show, I was only waiting for one question: Is it Love that comes to human first, or is it Sex Appeal? The answer never came. :(

Of course it is important to dress up and look good because although we do not want to come across as materialistic, first impression counts!! Sex appeal is supposed to be something that is able to boost your confidence. When you know you wore a nice attire out tonight, you know you will feel good about yourself. It never mattered if any guy/girl noticed you as long as you KNOW you dressed well.

How then do love compare to sex appeal? That is the beauty of it all. Beauty may fade away, but love is forever. That is why cards are always 'Best Friend Forever' or 'Love you Forever' it always engage the emotion of love... You may not be the most attractive person, you may not come close to be the next Megan Fox or Brad Pitt, but it really doesn't matter. You are unique in your own way. The best thing is there is love waiting for you. The same one Megan Fox and Brad Pitt experienced. The same love regardless of your financial status, regardless of your IQ, regardless of your sex appeal. It is a gift from God =D

The science of Sex Appeals( part 1)

2009-08-24T01:21:00.017+08:00

The following entry is deemed R(A)! If you are under the age of 18 yrs and below, your parents will strongly encourage you to leave this site. Otherwise, enjoy the read! :)

Last week, while watching Chelsea play Fulham in a rather dull game, I switched to Discovery channel and guess what was showing: The Science of Sex Appeals. No prizes for guessing which channel I watched thereafter, haha! Please do note that even the findings shocked the nuts out of me! It was mind-blowing!

I hope that these two-parts entry will really make you learn somethings. I know people have been telling me how long my entries are, but I believe this will bless you. you will also know how to 'market' yourself to be more attractive and better person to the people around you. Ultimately, this will bless you, to be a blessing to the people around you.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

The SCIENCE of Sex Appeal is that there is NO science. It is the way God made us. Yes, as I'm going to mention below that the 5 senses play a big part is the 'game of attraction' but there are other elements like confidence, security, intelligence, personalities and characters that contributes to the overall points in your sex appeal.

DISCLAIMER: Raymond is in no way being disrespectful to any of the sexes. We are all human, and I guess this is how we are created. There are chemical names I don't know how to spell, please forgive me. Lastly, don't kill me if I revealed the secrets why one sex behave like they do.

SIGHT

Research activity: They put ladies and gents through an eye censor machine, while an image is playing on the monitor screen. The findings is as follows:

Men: The eyes will first go onto the breast( apparently one side isn't enough, they looked at both) below the eyes focus on the hips!
Women: The eyes only look at the chest and the shoulders! ( For men with bellies, this should be comforting!!)
They then used the same eye censors to ask ladies and gents to tell of a black feature to see if it is a man or a woman. Both sexes looked at the same areas to determine whether a figure is male or female!!

1)The IDEAL is that the waist is 0.7 of her hips! Yes, I am sure some of you will start measuring. That is the IDEAL! However, they did a survey on men with black figures of women with varying waist sizes and dang are men greedy or what? It is found that men find ladies with waist that is 0.6 or 0.5 of her hips to be sexy!!! By the way, there is NO WAY a lady's hips is half of her waist. If you see one, check if you are still breathing!!!

2)Studies and surveys show that women like men with muscular face features. I think that is why male models have such distinct jaw lines! If you think women never lust, you are wrong. They do!! HOWEVER, before you start laughing like I did, this 'lustful' period of women usually only when she is ovulating, unlike men! Somehow, this kind of reminds me once again that we are an animal after all! Seems like only animals will look for a mating partner when they are in their mating 'season'.

Lesson Learn: ALL men love breasts, whether they say they are a leg, butt, smile person! There is never an ideal figure. Love yourself for who you are. If you think you are ugly, there are always uglier people out there. If you think you are pretty, there are always prettier people out there. Be happy and thankful for what you have. You are special in your own way. :)

SMELL

Research activity: They made men run on a treadmill and put their sweaty shirt in a jug each. Ladies were then asked to smell the shirt and rate their 'attractiveness' by the smell. I thought this is retarded.

1)Firstly, results show that women DOESN'T LIKE smelly men. Whatever smell a man's body produce, it stinks to ladies! Unless the man's name is Dior, Calvin Klein or Adidas then I guess their smell should be like perfume they produce.

2)Interestingly, a lady found the smelly shirts 'sexy'. The researchers were amused and did a research on her and found that she is in the period of time when she is due to ovulate in one or two days time! Women who are about to be in their 'mating season' will find men odor to be manly and somewhat sexy. This is funny. I don't know why but it amuses me.

3)Lastly, the owner of one shirt is a relative of a lady. When the lady smelled it, she rated the shirt to be one of the most 'unsexy' one. It is also believed that when a woman smell a smell that is of a relative's, she will be turned off. I guess this is a way that God prevents weird people of engaging in abnormal stuff. I wonder how on earth do those people in the newspaper carry out such incest activities, even against a scientific belief. Scary...

Lesson Learnt: Do your utmost to put on cologne or perfume to smell nice because humans like to smell nice stuff! Forget the idea that you are Tarzan or Jane and your odor is manly or attractive, because our brains do not teach us to love this thing called 'body odor'.

BEHAVIORS

Research Activity: They watched videos of speed dates and observed how the men and women behaved during the session.

1) They found that it is obvious to tell if a man is interested in a woman through his eyes and body actions. Instead, they find it difficult to tell the interest level of a woman! One of the researcher concluded that it is hard to reveal a woman's true thoughts and emotions( I have always suspected something fishy in this area, but oh well, I really don't know what do guys do that gives away our intentions and true feelings! SO 'romantic' can?!)

2) By the way, there really isn't anything significant about sex. But have you ever wondered what is the thing that drives the sex drive? It is this chemical produced called Dobermine( Unsure of spelling). It works like drugs such as cocaine and this is produced when your are having intercourse! I guess the level of Dobermine produced decrease as you age. This Dobermine plus testosterone is the one that make people want more, more, more, more and more sex( HAHA, now we know who is the culprit)!

Research Activity: They put different women in different period of their menstrual cycle and recorded and observed their movements.

3) This is fascinating. Women who are in their ovulating period are observed to dance more flirtatiously than those who are not in their ovulating period. Women in the ovulating period are also observed to dress up in dressings that show more flesh/skin!! To spice things up, a shocking discovery shows that women who got partners and are not clubbing with their partners are MORE flirtatiously than women who are single at the club. Now that is worth a WOW!

Lesson Learn: Well, we now know men can never hide their true feelings. No wonder we suck at surprising girls! sigh. This brings even more importance in knowing HER friends so they can help you out, haha! The second thing learn is a new pick up line at parties: Hey, are you in the ovulating period?( I will not answer for the palm print you have on your cheeks please) This also probably reminds us that we should spend more time with our loved one. Never put things up for temptation. Even the toughest steel will rust one day.

That is it for part 1. I will put everything to a nice conclusion next week. Stay tuned for part two! :)

Marriage Induction Program-Military style

2009-08-22T16:16:00.011+08:00

Marriage is something that is blissful, otherwise weddings wouldn't be so grand and glam!!Marriage is ultimately an indication when two separate people become ONE! Not only in flesh, but in their mind, in their faith, in their beliefs and in their goals and visions.

Interestingly, an article in 2004, this was written: The Department of Statistics said the number of marital dissolutions, which include divorce and annulments, had tripled over the past two decades from 2313 in 1983 to 6561 in 2003(http://www.singapore-window.org/sw04/040623a2.htm). With such a small population, when something triples, it is something!

Divorce would then obviously mean that there is a clash in their mindsets, their values, their cultures, their beliefs and goals. I think the top 2 things that couples fight about is 1) PRIDE 2) LACK OF COMMUNICATIONS. This is observed even during a human being's dating 'season'! Nothing special really. The key factor is how do they handle it!

JOKE: They say the husband/boyfriend is like a general, and the wife/girlfriend is like the major(Ladies, major is many ranks lower than a general). However, in marriage context, the husband/boyfriend only makes the general decision, while the wife/girlfriend makes the major decisions! haha...

Army taught me this thing called-Induction Program. This program 'forces' you to work together as a unit, to build bonds(really strong ones) and to be tolerant and patient with one another. I think this is the ideal solution to couples' quarrels, and possibly the savior of needless divorces.

My 5 solutions to 'quarrel-solving'!!

1) Enforcing standby-bed. Believe it or not, reports show that couples quarrel because one party is way TOO MESSY! I imagine the ladies' walk-in wardrobe not having a walk-in passageway, the man's tie, socks and shoes everywhere after work, sitting in the sofa with beer in hand. Wouldn't all these be solved if they give one another 10mins to tidy everything up before going to work everyday for one another to inspect? Standards not met? Refer to point 2.

2) Implement punishments. What is military program without punishment? Set out ground rules prior to a relationship/marriage. This way, there is no need to quarrel because the consequence is constant! Failure to flush the bowl will walk the dog for 2 days! Failure to dispose left overs will wash the dishes for a day. Failure to come home on time for dinner means sleeping on the sofa for the night. For wed couples, failure to do any of these means extra duty. Staying up to be on standby for the months old baby! Be innovative, it is your relationship.

3) Organize happy hour. This is what I learn from my parents. Family that eat together, stays together. By the way, this is proven by surveys and what my old folk says, it seldom gets wrong! Scientists really have nothing to do. Ensure that you have a meal together at least once a week! Regardless if it is a family or as a couple! Do something fun together, a picnic or stroll by the beach, hand in hand! =D

4) Go for training exercises together. A healthy relationship needs good experiences that the couple can reflect on, even during bad times. Ironically, it is during exercises(missions) that soldiers get bonded together. A relationship need such moments as well. Go on a trip together, at least once every 6months! It might cost something, but it is a good investment.

5) Always conduct last parade daily. Last parade is a time when the 'orders' for the following day is announced. This is good for relationships because couples will know the doings and whereabouts of the other party for the next day. Share your day ahead, plan it together! Give words of encouragements because he/she will appreciate your care and concern. This 'last parade' will also be a time to thrash things out, be it something negative or positive. Solve your arguments before you head to bed. Sleep with a forgiving and happy soul! Grudges held overnight is like food left overnight. It will turn rotten the next day.

Unfortunately, there is so much precaution and advise one can give to prevent quarrels. It is sadly inevitable. It will come, at one stage or another, but how are you going to handle it? You can choose to resolve it, or you can ignore it. By the way, resolving issues NEVER mean one is right, but rather a COMPROMISE is met!! Be patient and optimistic, even when the situation looks bleak.

Ultimately, it doesn't matter who is commissioned as the general and who is the major in the relationship because at the end of the day... The pastor now pronounce you HUSBAND and WIFE! You may kiss the bride =D

P.S Next week entry will be a fascinating one. A continuation of this newsletter guys! But it will be in a more serious tone, yet an enjoyable read. Till next week...

The world of Probabilities...

2009-08-14T00:59:00.005+08:00

One fine day, while I was daydreaming during one of my MANY off-days, I wonder some scenarios that probably will never happen in real time. Just for a blog entry, let us play with the words... WHAT IF... LET'S SAY... I WONDER IF... This is my top 2!!

1) WHAT IF we men can chat with our best friends like how we chat with our girlfriend? As everyone should already know, Choy is attached to his schoolmate. He is a really good friend of mine, so we stayed over really often(He claimed almost daily). Well, it is probably what couples do(at least that is what I do last time), they talk on the phone. What surprised me is when he started speaking to his girlfriend, his voice was squeaky, high pitched, and REALLY 'whispery'. He snuggle up to a pillow and start giggling, whispering... UGH!! haha, to think that he was once a rugby player...

Now imagine speaking like this to your best friend(if you are a guy).

Raymond: Hey,I am ready, call my hp now. Bye.
*ring ring*
BFF: Hey Ray, how you doing? *BFF start cuddling up and getting 'whispery'*
Raymond: Nothing much, just showered, drying my hair. How about you? What are you doing? * Also cuddling up*
BFF: *In squeky voice* Nothing...* Twirling his hair* Just laying down on my bed, waiting for my best friend to sleep!

If you cannot imagine this, you are forgiven. I am really amused how girls can go on for hours on the phone with their best friends, but not guys!

2) My FAV: WHAT IF you were of the opposite sex? I don't know what kind of woman I will make. I personally think I will be super duper demanding, and I will not hesitate to slap guys when they mess with me. One thing I like if I were to be a girl is that girls have so many different type of clothes to choose from! My point:

Men: Singlet, tee-shirt,long sleeve,short sleeve,polo...
Women:Spaghetti, t-shirt,tank top, long sleeve, short sleeve,tube, polo,dress, * this thing that only has sleeve on one shoulder*, and the long tee shirt that they wear with tights.

SEEE!!! How unfair. No wonder men are more brand conscious than women. Otherwise, what is there a guy can look out for in his shopping? This shirt has more buttons that the other, maybe? LOL.

Nobody can predict the future for us. There are many ideal situations that we all pray for. Some may be practical, but may not. Sometimes I do wonder why am I not in another situation. Looking at the two examples above, it is no wonder that man and woman are created to be uniquely different from one another. We are in our situation because everyone is special. Regardless, do your best in whichever situation you are in, and I am very sure you will be very surprised with your own results.

Being INSPIRED is a choice!

2009-08-03T16:28:00.004+08:00

I mentioned about inspiration in my previous blog, and I actually decided on something new. While i was on my NDP duty, I realized Mr. Brown has this really sweet-looking microphone for his podcast(I am envious). Check this out:

(My innovation will be revealed below!) :D

What does it take to be inspired?

I personally believe that everything great starts with inspiration. I once heard this: Inspiration ignite an idea, determination make the idea a reality and motivation is what keeps the reality going. I think that is so true. Without determination an idea will only be an idea. No matter how successful one become, everyone is bound to have their 'moments' and that is when motivation from friends is required to keep them going. I think the statement is very true!

Inspiration(thanks to dictionary.com): noun; Stimulation of the mind or emotions to a high level of feeling or activity.

I am very sure everyone of us have been inspired to do something. It might not be an invention, but this HIGH LEVEL of feelings definitely have occurred to you before. Otherwise many motivational speakers are not earning money! Now the million dollars question: What fruits have that inspiration (regardless when it was) bear?

I think I had let go of many of my inspiration, and nothing actually came out of it in the end. It is disappointing of course as I look back now. For example, I have always wanted to do the online shop business, but I stopped it when I entered into the army. It is a mere excuse to say army would be a distraction, but to be honest, I was discouraged when I didn't receive motivation. I tried to find someone who could help me run it while I was in army, but it was not successful. :(

Reflect back and maybe there was something that you wanted to do, but you gave it up because you didn't have the determination and motivation to continue doing it. You may ask how do I get that kind of inspiration again? Well, it is not easy, but seek the purpose of what you always wanted to do.

Inspiration has something to do with purpose. It is when you believe in the purpose of doing something, then you will inspired to do it and do it in the best possible way. I don't know why but that is how the mind work. This phase of my life in the SAF taught me that unless the soldiers believe in the reason behind doing something, they will not do it because they find no meaning in doing so. Inspiration is something powerful because it is something that will spark something great and possibly change your life.

Find the purpose in the things you do, and you will be inspired again. Never look down on things that had inspired you and do something great with it. I believe in you :)

As promised, I came up with my invention of the microphone! :) Enjoy.

An AGENT or a FIGHTER?

2009-07-28T23:48:00.016+08:00

I enjoyed the previous blog post so much with the videos! So much more 'interactive'! Anyway on that trip, if you think all was happy and fun, it wasn't the case! Just like how life is, everything has its ups and downs. You know why? SIGH, check out this clip!!

That is right man! That is my broken shattered heart. By the way, she is the one on the right of the picture!!If you haven't get the idea from my 'OH MY GOSH' in the clip...The dude from the 'You tiao shop' actually got her number @ Vivocity Food Republic! NOOOOO...Mind you, she is not just average Jane, you know? It is some Hot gorgeous girl! Sigh, such instance always do two things to my fragile soul!

1) It makes me sad!:(
2) At the same time, it reminds me of guys like myself of the slender chance that we still have in this competitive world! :P

Well, as mentioned in the video, I watched a half hour movie. We were late because we got the treat(as mentioned in the previous post). I personally like these kind of action movie so I still enjoyed it although I seriously do not know how the beginning was like.

FIGHTING!!

Interestingly, despite the fact that the show is only half an hour, I got a really insightful reflection that is actually so true in our lives, even if we do not notice it at times! Shawn MacArthur who was often 'ignored' by his very own father and found little confidence in himself. When an agent/coach came to engage him in little fights, he got encouraged and continued to fight to earn a living. Due to pride, greed and revenge, the agent put him against one of the best fighters around placing a huge sum of money at stake. It was not easy for Shawn because the approval of the fight was not decided by him, but by his agent. Regardless, he continued to enter the 'ring' aka balcony to fight. Think about these:

1) Are you like Shawn in the movie? Is Your life being 'controlled' and decided by others? Who are the agents in your life? Do they have good intentions for you? It is indeed tiring and stressful to live your life to meet other people expectation, living the dream of others and not yourself. Be mindful that this body of yours is a mere human of flesh and not a robot from the recent Transformer movie. It is impossible to keep 'fighting' all the fights your 'agent' arranged for you. Ultimately, you need to find your own vision, your own purpose in life, and live it because at the end of the 70-80 years here, you know you lived a fulfilling life.

I met my friend who is a PSC dude, and with a knife to this throat(kidding), he did confessed that many of his peers felt that their path, be in education or career is already laid out for him. All they need to do is walk through that path and meet people's expectation. I am not too sure if they are happy doing that, but I know I wouldn't.

2) On the other hand, we might be the 'agents' in other people lives. Are your intentions for him/her to do well, or is it simply because you didn't have the chance they have to fulfill YOUR dream? Are you being too demanding towards those around you? Are you being too much of a demanding girlfriend who expects your boyfriend to be there right next to you all the time? If you do, why not ask him to set up a 7-11 shop beside you? That way he is forever 24hours-7days a week! The thing about these 'agents' is that they are never appreciative and they don't know how to compliment others. They set high standards and expectations, and when people do meet this expectation, they seldom say 'well done' or 'I am proud of you'... Why? Simply because it is EXPECTED of the person. I think that is sad! We need to learn to gauge how much to expect from others.

The formula is: EXPECTATION= ABILITY + DETERMINATION
* Alex Ferguson predicted Ronaldo to be the best player in the World because he knows Ronaldo put in that much extra effort in his trainings.

When I think of this word EXPECTATION, parents come into my mind. Many of them wants their children to live their dream, to fulfill something they failed to fulfill when they are younger. For example, my parents never allowed me to learn ballet because they felt it is for someone feminine, or rather more on girls. Maybe they are afraid that I make too many female friends in my ballet classes. Or maybe they felt tight stockings are not my fashions style. Okay, before jaws drop, I am kidding, I never wanted to do ballet, but I always wanted to do football...

Conclusion

I think for one to be a successful fighter, he needs no agent! A successful fighter is his own agent. It is when the fighter finds his own motivation, inspiration and determination to do something he always wanted to do... That is when he will fight with his all. Look at Thomas Edison, my brother! He tried to find the right element for his bulb 1881737261873739 times... Did he have anyone that 'push' him to find this discovery? Not really because he was determined and he has his own dream to discover something new! I believe we can all be a successful fighter in our own lives! Be your own agent, and those 'agents' that have been pushing you all this while, change these 'agents' to be your supporters! :)

By the way, in the movie, Shawn trains in the subway! Of course he was topless in the movie, but I thought this is as realistic as it can get in Singapore! Introducing....Weighting 70Kg from the Eastern side of Singapore, winning 32 fights with 15 Knock-outs..... *drum rolls* give it up to Singapore's very own FIGHTING superstar, Raymond Ong!! Check out this clip:

Almost like the real deal yeah?

Sentosa with shirt on..

2009-07-24T19:04:00.017+08:00

This week, I went to Sentosa with my NDP New Media Human Story team! It was a blast! I mean, you get to work and see hot babes at one go(not really, it was a Thursday)! Where else can I find such pleasure? 6 FREE cable car rides to add to that! Oh yeah, this week, i decided to do something new and unique with the blog! I think it is somewhat more interesting with video blog as well! :) Do give me your feedback please!!

Well, we went to Mount Faber, The jewel box and Sentosa island to get the staff, to recite the pledge and their wishes for Singapore. I was very impressed with how advanced and luxurious Singapore tourism has become. The staff were so accommodating and friendly. I don't even remember this happening when my dad brought me to Singapore when I was 8 years young... ;)

1) The cable car now has ALL-GLASS cabin available! I tried looking down directly under my feet, and my knees went totally weak! Is that how a girl feel when they see their prince charming?

2)Sentosa has many things on display that I never knew. For example, the Imbiah where we filmed the pledge taking! It was really beautiful! I really enjoyed it!

Check out my introduction just before we enter Sentosa:

Anyway, I wasn't trying to be Mr. White like what i said in the video. That is only because my guys told me to say that. However, if I am to call myself to whatever shirt color I am wearing, I might be called Mr. Rainbow one day! So the speakers went 'Count on me... SINGAPORE, count on me...SINGAPORE!' It was hilarious! Unexpected you know? It is a beach after all. Thankfully, when we went to the beach, we didn't see half naked people with the merlion or Singapore flag tattoos all over! haha...

The thing I loved about the whole trip is that we were so carefree, and I was away from the office for once! I really enjoyed this job really. When we did the recording, they even brought us on the tour around the place. Here we are, as Singaporeans, and we don't even know our own tourism attractions! The service provided, the quality and everything were really a class above the rest. It just made us have so much pride in our own nation you know?

We went to Mount Faber(by the way, i have never been there), and we did our recordings there, and the view from the toilet is just perfect! Check this out:

There is a sofa in the women toilet. It is unbelievable. Now their secret is out! If you wonders why ladies can stay in the washroom to ease themselves, to shower, the reason is so obvious! They always go in groups, and while waiting for one another, the other probably sits down on the sofa. Now, that is where it is fatal. Once seated, it becomes a talking corner and poor you got to wait for another 30mins! Nonetheless, the view is breathtaking, and it probably just makes your toilet experience more 'memorable'.

Their top floor is so nice, and it is the place where they hold their wedding ceremonies. This is me WITHOUT my partner!:( Check my face.

Oh yeah, I warned myself to be careful not to knock my head, so you see my two hands ensuring that I don't hit the thing. Guess what? I end up knocking against the thing in the middle! SUPER PAIN! This is bell have been around since I wasn't born yet. I think its 1960s.

At the end of the day, the CEO of Mount Faber Leisure Group, after her recording, told us we have complimentary free meal and drink in The Jewel Box. WOW! As excited as we are, we actually bought tickets for the movie "Fighting' and we were running VERY late. Being the gentlemen that we ALL are, we sat and ordered our favourite drink, Coca Cola. We felt bad if we ordered meals cause the place looks really nice and pretty and costly too! After all, NDP is our duty and to be rewarded like this when the rest isn't is just wrong. Me being the PC, I tried to tell them let's just order drinks. I could totally tell who were disappointed. Regardless, we were given the menu, and you will be surprised how much the glass of coke cost! $5!! FIVE SINGAPORE DOLLLARS! woo... I had a recording on this :P

Phew, after a long day, a cold chilled drink to end the day! We missed the movie(went back to catch the last 1/2 hour), but I believe it is all worth it! I am happy to be able to go out with the guys, and when I saw their facebook, commenting it is one of the best outings they had, it just made me smile you know? Yeah la yeah la, the ever sentimental sensitive me! :P

P.S My next blog entry is on the movie! It got me reflecting, so it wouldn't be included in this post, sorry!

If there is something in army that people will never forget, it is the friendship being forged. Here are the guys who are older than me, and we have the mutual respect and understanding for one another! I brought them back to camp slightly late that night, but who cares, we had so much fun! Of course, Raymond being Raymond, I kind of edited this year NDP theme song while on the cable car( note the first line? That is how I got the idea!)

Haha, thank God the cabin didn't shake, the glass didn't break, lens were fine and microphone didn't censor my singing! This is the real deal, haha:

I hope you enjoyed this kind of new entry, what do you think? More interesting right? I love filming myself, HAHA! Anyway stay tune for the next entry! Something that is so true in our society, so which side are you on? Till then, Cheers! =D

DONT contribute to the already cruel world...

2009-07-15T17:19:00.019+08:00

I wanted to blog this weeks ago, but my sister stopped me. It is just too tempting and I can't help but blog about this true and 'weird' way that life reveals itself. Few weeks back, Michael Jackson passed away, and although there are still discussions and stuff going on as to how he died, why he died etc etc blah blah... Seriously, he is dead and doing too many autopsy will just ruin his body shape(If it hasn't been ruined).

Tips to all parents and parents-soon-to-be: If you want a son to stand a chance to be a legend, put a MICHAEL in his name, somewhere...

-Michael Jackson (music)
-Michael Schumacher (F1 driver)
-Michael Jordan ( Basketballer)
-Michael Phelps (swimmer)
-Michael Owen( Footballer, especially now that he is in Man Utd)
- Raymond Ong ( trying trying,aspiring)

You know what i found most disturbing?
(WARNING: Whining ahead)

Life can be so cruel! Can you remember the last time you felt that you were dealt with unfairly in your circumstance?I can imagine people nodding their head facing their screens (like what i am doing ferociously)!!Let me share with you some instances!!!!! GRRRR....

1) When i read about Michael Jackson, i feel kind of sad that he left us. The same feeling I had when Steve Irwin died. These people are people I grew up listening and watching! I remembered vividly in Primary 1 when I was in Indonesia's Singapore International School, my PE teacher played the lemon tree song while we ran around the badminton court! Now that I think of it, it was retarded, but who cares because she is pleasant looking.

I am very agitated as to how people treated him, especially the media. When he was alive, people criticised him for almost everything. For his marriages, for his Neverland, for his children, for his music, for his appearance, for his skin, and the list goes on... There were news that people used him because of his marketability! Who on this world can do FIFTY(50) shows at one go? Michael is still a human after all, not a marketing robot or money sapping machine! It is ironic that people criticise him for all his doings when he is alive, yet praise him when he is dead! They called him the 'King Of Pop', 'Music legend' when he is dead, yet called him 'rapist','molester' and 'crazy' to hang cover his kids with veils and hanging them off windows when he was alive!

The same for his daughter, Paris. When he was alive, he cover her with veil and people say that he is crazy etc. At his funeral at Staples Centre, Paris gave a farewell speech, and people questioned whether she is too young to be exposed to such publicity? Irony irony... The Media that this world offers is really crazy! Michael is just like any one of us, except he has a lot of fame and fortune. I wonder what gives him this 'special treatment' he receives from his fellow humans! So what are they trying to say at the end of this ordeal? That he is a rapist legend?? :S

2) If the world is cruel, then love is something even worse! Sometimes, I wonder if there is such thing as fair love? But with fair love, there wouldnt be sacrifice, so i think there is no such thing! haha. Since when is there a rule that girls must like older guys? Of course I am not trying to say that I am the victim here, but there isn't such rule is there? It is nasty to know that guys are often with younger girls, but heard of girls with younger guys? I think it is a stereotype, but I am sure they are many guys out there who became a casualty of this stereotype! For one, sometimes older girls are CHARMING! They tend to be nicer to you as well. Of course, I think this may be due to the fact that they only see you as a 'younger brother'! BOOO... Nonetheless, there really isn't anything anyone can do about it unfortunately.

3) No matter what people say about justice and equality in opportunity etc, there will always be elements like favoritism. This is because we are all human with feelings! Whether we like it or not, you only get what you want with your achievements. This is even more so in our society today! My friend, who is graphic designer, is going to La Salle just to get a degree! Why? Because her dad wants her to. Come on, we all know that arts needs more experience and talent more than anything else. You need a portfolio, not a paper qualification. You don't need a letter to state that you can draw! If your relative bakes and sell pastries, you would still choose to buy from his/her stall instead of bengawan solo because you know the owner, although i suspect Bengwan Solo will be way nicer!! How do you justify that? You didn't go for the thing that obviously gives you the quality that you would probably expected. As much as we want to abolish favouritism, it is almost impossible. There is no detector that can eliminate this factor when making decisions.

Creating World peace!

This world is cruel enough! We lost Michael Jackson because he probably couldn't take the pressure he was under! Trust me, i believe there are many others out there like him. You can do your part and be a helper, not a burden!!

1) Be less CRITICAL! Accept the fact that nobody is perfect! Everyone makes mistake! Be forgiving towards others! It is too easy for us to point fingers at others because the emotional and psychological 'arrow' is not flying our way! Instead help them. When people make mistakes, especially unintentionally, correct them and help them instead of criticising them! You will be surprised how grateful people will be!

2)Be ACCEPTING and not RESENT! Face the fact that we live in a world that isn't fair because it isn't square! The worst move a person should do is to resentful towards his friends and this world because ofhow some things turn out. Trust me, it is NOT worth it. Some things will go your way even when you didn't do anything about it, while some things will not go your way, no matter how hard you tried! Instead of worrying how to make things go your way, you should just do your best in whatever you do, and if it is to go your way, it will definitely come waiting at your doorstep:)

3) Be AWARE!! You must know that even if you are treated unfairly, it happened for a reason. Maybe the girl/guy isn't the one for you? Maybe it isn't your time for this yet? Believe that things will work out for the better in whatever circumstances that you are in! You got to believe you have a great destiny waiting to unfold and things that do not work out your way is part of this revealing of what is in store for you!! Things happen in phases. You may be happy for now, but for how long? You may be sad for now, but for how long? Accepting the present, embracing the future and staying positive is the way ahead! =D

Life Update!

- This weekend, I will be @ Jurong Point for the next leg of the RoadShow. The recent one at Toa Payoh went successfully though the crowd is lukewarm. Please do visit me if you stay in the west! :)

-I caught up with a friend recently. She is my primary school friend, long time ago when i would shriek when I am asked to hold a gal hand back to class! I am blessed to be able to catch up with her and learn how she is doing. Shocking to all of you, she is doing what I did before my enlistment! She has a blog shop! It is amazing! Of course, when a girl own a blog, its glamorous! She sell awesome stuff! Please excuse the pictures because she herself has a great body! UNFAIR right? Cruel world...LOL Anyway check it out, its a must for ladies especially:

http://red-redapple.livejournal.com

P.S Talking to her really inspire me to start something for my own after ORD at the end of the year! hmm....

* I have less pictures this week. Don't know what to put man! older women?U wouldnt wanna see what i found on yahoo image. HAHA

every TEEN a wrestling CHAMPION!!

2009-07-13T00:29:00.016+08:00

My sister is finally back in Singapore! Did you know that my mum cried to see all her children 'present'! haha,touching touching...

When i look at my sisters, I really feel that we have grown up so much! It is actually quite difficult to believe that I once pulled their hair and smack their butt when we fought! Like what my dad said, we are slowly but surely getting out of this 'teenage' years already. Time flies.

I honestly DID NOT find my teenage life a stroll in the park! In fact, I must say it was actually a struggle. Hormones and emotions got the better of me most of the time. It is pressuring and somewhat daunting. It is true, and i totally agree that it was an eye-opener and an experience I would never want to forget, but it pushed me to the limits and definitely out of my comfort zone.

This is why this blogpost is hoping all teenagers to be wrestling champions! They say Life is a constant wrestle between you and the world, and I believe it starts in your teenage years! Children are innocent and pure, but teenagers are introduced to the life policies like 'birds and the bees', the 'chicken and the egg', 'NO money=NO girl, NO house, NO car, NO friends, NO comfort'!

Think about these situations and you will understand why your teenage life is such a significant moment in your life when changes occur without you even noticing until you reflect on it:

When else did you learn of love? Granted primary school crush is Cinderella stuff, but it is in secondary school that you started dating. In Primary School, you puke to hold a girl's hand to walk back to class! :S But when you grow up, you seek high and low for love! the cute irony is truly special...

When else did we learn the painful word called rejection? When you are a kid and daddy gives a STERN no when you requested for a lollipop, you just cry and play the toy airplane. However, when your date said NO to your lunch/dinner offer, you thought the sky is falling and the sea level is rising a.k.a YOU ARE DYING.

When else did you experience the feeling of being cheated by people you trust most. When you are a kid, if your sister kept your share of candies and ate it up, only for you to find out, you will just fight with her and sleep after due to the fatigue. However, when your ex-boyfriend/ex-girldfriend dumped you in the MOST SYMPATHETIC AND 'UNDERSTANDING' manner, you cried buckets and get introduced to this 'world' called emo-sphere.

The thing about the HORMONES and EMOTIONS!

1) There was a time when I felt left out when my friends were CLUBBING/DRINKING while I was not. I don't think they left me out, but i somehow felt 'left out'. I know I am not answering here, but thats exactly how I felt. Do you find that these people always group together to be a clique? Did I think clubbing/drinking is wrong? Of course not, it is the 'IN' thing anyway!! Slowly, it actually became a pressure to join them, just to know what they are talking about when we do meet up again... Was I tempted? Almost always. The first time I clubbed was @ the China Black that has since closed down. I didn't really like the headache I suffered, I didn't like the ringing noise in my ears even when I was laying at home,trying to snooze!

Such pressure is very common. After all, all these are supposed to be fun, enjoyable and easy! Who would convincingly say NO to free sex, fun and thrills? I wouldn't condemn anyone of anything, but for what you believe in, stand firm by it! If you are like me, don't feel left out because of trends and peer pressure. For what clubbing is in our era, it is actually what disco is to your parents' era. It is something that will just come and go.If you really think about it, just because you don't drink doesn't make you less cool than your friends. Come on seriously, whether your friend is drunk or sober, you are still their friend!! =D I was watching CNA on mobileTV, and guess what was said by the reporter? the 19th century belong to the English, 20th century belong to the American, then 21st century will belong to the CHINESE! lol, maybe the next trend is to party with TEA and Chinese/lion dance!!!

2) One of the toughest thing to manage as a teenager is RELATIONSHIPS. I believe this is the number ONE thing for almost all teenagers. I find that emotionally we 'opened up' when we are teenagers. We learn of emotional attachment to another person! Again, this peer pressure to be in a relationship may actually occur, and I actually think it is very common. This makes so many people to be in relationships that they were not supposed to be in, resulting in painful heart breaks.

Do you feel that at times when you are single, you do suffer from boredom or lack of companion? Your friends are attached and their weekends are no longer yours! I did feel this way for quite some time, especially after I broke up one year ago! (it is exactly ONE YEAR since i went out with a girl *applause*) Actually it really isn't a bad thing AFTER you really go through it. During that time, I caught up with a lot of my guy friends, many whom I wouldn't have met them otherwise. I also learn to 'appreciate' the army friends I made. No wonder they say army friends last a lifetime. Because they go through this 'torture' together!! Who is to blame when all the girls ventured into the wilderness of the university, surrounded by the many ORD personnel who just found a new meaning in life??!??

The other struggle comes when you feel you are not good enough! Maybe it is when you want to chase someone you love! Maybe you think you are too fat or too ugly, or she/he is just being all so mean and ignore you!!?? I used to like a girl, but no matter what I do or say, i just wouldn't get her attention. Was I devastated? Of course. I questioned myself countless times to check what could possibly went wrong with me. I am sure a lot of you did the same! The thing is the problem IS NOT in you, but in the situation! More of than not, the problem lays with the date, the outing. Gentlemen, if you are rejected or ignored, maybe its that time when you refuse to send her home although you asked her out till late at night! OH-HOR!!! Now u know... Don't always think the problem is with you! You are perfect for someone already, maybe it isn't her? Yes it suck, yes it is unfair, but that is because this world isn't square!!

3)All teenagers start to understand what is FAILURE and the consequences it brings. I am sure you did not think of what happens if you fail primary school, other than the cane and some big-time nagging! But think of the amount of stress you went through in your GCE 'O' Level, GCE 'A' Level and your final projects. You are fully aware that if you don't do well, your future will be greatly affected! This is so true in Singapore, where evrything is so competitive. That is why we are such stressed out people!

To be honest, people like us who resides in Singapore never really experience failure. Our lives and educational path is pretty much planned out for us. We will never experience living on the roads or begging for money!As much as we should be aware of 'traps' of failures in our lives, we shouldn't fear it. After all, this is what I found in Raymond's dictionary:

SUCCESS = FAILURE THAT IS CONQUERED!

Life is too unpredictable, and failures are inevitable! They will come at one point sooner or later! I have learnt that it is better to be prepared than to worry about it! Think about it. In whatever you do, all you can do is plan! Anything after, there are just too many factors that are beyond your control to determine the final outcome!

Be the Heavyweight wrestler

Our teenage years is something that will come and go before you know it! It is definitely not easy! Temptations are there, pressure is there, but know that you are not the first to go through it,many have gone through it and you are not alone in it! Talk to your best friends, seek advice from a senior whom you are comfortable with! It might not be your parents, after all, remember what I said?We go through spotlights, they go through disco balls!

Stand firm with your beliefs and morals!!To be a good wrestler, he needs to be firm and not lay down when he is knocked down! He stand firm with the belief that he will win! Why do you think they are arragont when they enter the ring? Simply because they believe they will win! Don't get swayed by pressure because it is exactly your beliefs and morals that will carry you through your teenage years. Most of your struggles will be between your beliefs/morals versus the temptations. Think carefully before acting! It is better to regret not falling into temptations, than to regret abandoning your beliefs and morals. After all, when you do not fall into temptations, you get 'comfort' and 'sense of victory' feeling! For what you decide to do, it stands a chance to be a habit and be with you for many years to come, but these 'teenage things' will fade away some day!

Lastly, this teenage phase that we all go through is supposed to be pleasent and enjoyable because we see many more things in life from many more prespectives. It is meant for us to enjoy, to explore and probably do some self identity! Yes, some might find themselves to be hormosexual, but some of us will find out many more glorious things! For ladies, you will be glad to know you have turned from this childish ugly duckling when u were 10, to this swan and princess at 19! :) For gentlemen, we should be glad that we have turned from a childish ugly duckling at 10 to a frog at 19! Well, we are special. We need a kiss from a princess to be a prince charming on a horse! haha. Enjoy this period of your life! Things might not be in your favour, but pray and believe everything is to turn for the better! Remember you only live your teenage life once! =D

LIFE UPDATE

I am shocked to receive emails and comments that they are blessed to read my blog. That is shocking! Pls do comment and write in on your views and opinions! I do wish to make it a two-way sharing than a one-way channel!!

A friend of mine need to be congratulated. He quit my club( Lonely Hearts Club) on facebook. He got attached and I am so happy for him! Congratulations! If you have yet to sign up, pls go search 'Lonely hearts Club is Cool'... A singles outing plan is being drawn up!

NDP is 4 weeks away! I will be at different malls these 4 weekends for NDP. Please drop by and say hi to kill my boredom! You will also be filmed for WISH SINGAPORE! Just say happy birthday Singapore,and your birthday wish, too simple for any human being,really!:)

a broken circumstance, not a broken you!

2009-07-07T13:02:00.012+08:00

I confess I only did this up on Tuesday morning! I believe that would be the case at least until National Day because of my commitments on Saturdays! I decided to share about family this week because guess what?

MY SISTER IS COMING BACK TO SINGAPORE THIS FRIDAY!!!

I really miss her a lot. The last time i met her was 6 months before I enlist. Now, 5 months to ORD and it is the first time i meet her since i enlist! I only have two sisters and I am actually really close to both of them. Beverly is one who is really mature and independent for her age. I never need to worry about her because I believe she knows what she is doing! She is currently studying in the States and probably will stay there until the day cows start flying across the moon! haha...

I remember vividly the day she left at Soekarno Airport in Jakarta! I can't believe my younger sister will no longer be around! I cried buckets that day, and i believe I have never cried like that EVER! My eyes were puffy for the first time and I was really sad for a few weeks!

!!The GREATER need for families!!

Well, as I anticipate her return, I reflect back on the fundamental needs of a family in every single one of us. All of us belongs to a family, and one day will start a family of your own! It is something and somewhere that is well within your comfort zone! It is a place that assure you of warmth and love. I list some necessity for a family:

-Where dad becomes ATM, and mum become the ATM card.
-Where your sibling jokes and you laugh regardless.
-Where you find probably your NO. 1 travelling/vacation companions.
-Who else would give u a bigger red packet for Chinese New year?
-The reason why turkeys are killed for Thanksgiving.
-The reason why Santa actually 'exist'.

Go back to the day when you were still in your mum's womb, yes i am aware you wouldn't recall, but from evidence of numerous family photo albums, the people that are present during the delivery is usually your mother and your father! The first human being you recognize is your parents, your family. Let me tell you this didn't happen by accident. If you don't believe it, ask around. Even babies with nannies/babysitters, the baby WILL recognize the parents before the nanny/babysitter!! Impressive right? Why is this so?

1) I personally feel that just like how Adam and Eve entered this world, God wants us to have companions, mentors and someone we can relate to in this world. God has created us in a way that when we enter this world, we have a sense of belonging : family. It would actually be quite scary to come into this world not knowing anyone! Those babies who are abandoned by their parents! If nobody actually find them, can you imagine how scary it would be to be in the baby's shoes? Thus, God has put you in your family, not by accident! He knows who is the best to be with you, who is best to handle you and who is best to raise you up as a child!

2) There is really no better source of love and comfort, no better pillars of strength than family itself. Some kids will argue that they are closer to their friends than family. Honestly, think how chaotic a house will be if you are to live your life and share your house only with friends? Nobody has control and there is no structure in the household at all. Yes your husband/wife WAS a friend, but do note that when you marry, you are already starting a NEW FAMILY! It is amazing how families that are separated for decades can reunite and still shed tears! Parental love is really forgiving, patient and noble!!

I am really blessed because my parents love me and they have the best of me in their plans. They scold and they used to hit me, but that is exactly what made me who I am today!

BUT....... WHY DO FAMILIES GET RUINED THEN?

If families are supposed to be something nice,lovely and something 'heavenly', then why do families still then get ruined and ended up empty?? Living in this world that we live in, there is no perfect situation for everything. DO get it right that I believe families are formed to provide warmth, love and support for the members, but because of pride, greed and lust, sometimes families are ruined. It is obvious everyone makes mistakes, but some things done are probably more difficult for others to forgive??!!

Parents divorce because of affairs, children running away from home because of the problems at home and even families fight for legal rights to inherit after the family is broken up! All these are such common articles we read in the papers these days. Firstly, who suffers the most? THE KIDS! Every kid, regardless of how independent, old or mature needs a parental figure to follow. As mentioned before, my sister is such an independent girl, but do you know she calls my mum at least once in every 2 days? Secondly, children as mentioned in the first point, looks up to their parents. When the parents do hurtful things to one another, the kids learn and get terrified themselves, of love and marriage and end up being very defensive and protective of themselves.

How now brown cow?

As a teenager myself who only thought of this reflection, I probably cannot tell you what i would personally do. It is not easy to forgive when you are cheated b the people you MOST trusted! But i hope these 3 NEVER would be helpful and remembered:

No matter the conflicts in a family, NEVER FORGET that it is a responsibility to be filial child and respect your parents. Never allow resentment to creep inside you. After all, one of the commandment was to obey our parents! Before you start whining that if it happened obeying parents would be difficult, since when was obeying parents ever easy?!? :P

More importantly... NEVER CHOOSE a defeated life! My blog slogan is ' The life you live is created by the decisions you made'. It is often we hear of children who ruin their lives with drugs, sex and everything else because they do not find the love they need at home or they see their lives meaningless. Actually, this shouldn't even be the case. The mistakes people make need not affect the outcome of your life? You live your own, and your destiny is in your own hands! For example, just because your parents are divorced because of an affair does not mean that your goal/vision to obtain something is no longer achievable! Never let your circumstances determine your future and potential!

Lastly, NEVER STOP BELIEVING in yourself. It is NOT true that whatever others have gone through, you need to go through it! Believe and have faith that you will have a greater and better future! Even if your earthly family and parents disappoint you, our Heavenly father and family loves you and cares for you! He has plans not to harm you but to prosper you! Prosper need not come in terms of $$, it can actually come in terms of happiness, joy and blessings! I am sure He has a great destiny and future JUST FOR YOU!!

clash of titans: MEAT vs VEG

2009-06-28T11:49:00.008+08:00

I read back a few times of the previous blog post and I am well pleased. Indeed, I am not a bad boyfriend after all ;) Hope you guys enjoyed it too. Psssst, i think this week's reflection is really anal and gross :P

3weeks ago, my grandma came to Singapore from Indonesia to get her annual check up. It was also a follow up to the Intestinal cancer she suffered 2 years ago! Thank God everything went well and there is really nothing wrong with her. Praise the Lord.

Well,this week shall be an interesting sharing session about something that my dad shared with me. My grandma complained that her stool aka shit is still in its liquid form at times and she oftenneed to rush to the toilet urgently . The doctor asked her what is her meal like,and you will be amazed with her reply:

Breakfast- Potatoes
Lunch- Rice, Vegetable and fish
Dinner- Rice, vegetable and fish

It may seem normal,but mind you,when my grandma eats vegetable,she eats the WHOLE dish by herself! People often think/believe or rather, made to believe that by eating more vegetable, you will actually have better digestion and your frequency to the toilet will be higher,which is supposed to be better for the whole digestive system. Please do get this right: No matter how much vegetable/meat you consume, only a portion of it is digested! The food you ate on the plate seem so much,but when you go to the washroom,count to 5 and everything is out! HAHAHA, eeewww...

Ever asked yourself: What is the whole idea of eating?

Are we eating for the sake of having food digested and passing it out subsequently, or is it really to keep us going and giving us the necessary nutrients for the days ahead? Many people actually eat just to be healthy and they think that by eating more vegetable, they are actually having a healthier diet!!

Did you know how much protein do our body actually need? The calculation can be done below, but generally, a person of 68kg( I believe this is the weight of most Singaporean men) is actually 55g of protein per day! Compare this to the amount of vitamin C needed per day which is ONLY 40mg.

Protein needed= Body weight x 0.8

Anyways, do you believe it that I personally believe that meat is more important than vegetable? When your body takes energy from the carbo and fats,the next thing they do get energy from is protein! I don't think they draw energy from the vitamins and minerals in vegetable, do they? I have THREE cases of 'fun' arguments to prove my point:

1) Did you know that snakes can digest their food for a long time? If the snake is able to absorb the appropriate amount of heat, it actually takes a whopping 48-72hrs on average!! That means a big snake like the pythons eat on a rabbit(about 22pounds) can not eat for up to a month. If their prey of the day in their menu is a big mammal like deers or gazelles(about 70-90 pounds), they can even fast for up to many months! Now think of the more vegetable orientated animal like the cows.

Cows that are lactating(producing milk) needs roughly 50 pounds of dry matters like hay or grass.And assuming there is 50% moisture,the cow would need to consume 100 pounds per day! If you are looking at elephants, the numbers would be bigger! I'm blessed to have cows in my dad's farm. Trust me, the whole day,all they do is look down and eat,eat and eat! It is no wonder they have FOUR stomachs to house that amount of food! Now, why is it that an animal that eat grass keeps eating and not one that eat vegetable? That is because meat actually makes one really full. If you can't imagine it, think of the time you eat steak. It is only 200g of meat, but boy do you feel bloated after? That is probably why the doctor said it is so important for my grandma to eat meat and LESS vegetable.

2) The second argument given to me was hilarious, but it is rather true! Think of it, have you ever seen a fat/obese polar bear or lion? Now think of how fat cows and elephants are! Ironic right? By the way, if you actually think that polar bears are fat, judge them again after they drench themselves in the pool! The same goes for lions and tigers. That calls for an outing to the zoo. I actually have plans to work there for a while, after i ORD. Many people have this mindset that when you eat meat, you are more prone to be obese, while if you are on vegetable, you are more 'healthy' and unlikely to be 'out of shape'. Actually, all you are doing is starving yourself!

3) Lastly, just last week, my grandma said her condition is better and the problem did not happen again. Guess what she did? She ate minced meat and NO vegetable for a good weeek! Now, who has a COOL grandma? hahaha :P

I think the 3 points have justified my new discovery! Of course, do bear in mind that we are humans after all, and not animals, so our digestive system and consumption differs from the animals. The main idea I am trying to bring across is that the only reason why you don't go to the washroom daily might be due to the fact that, just like the snakes, the digestion of meat is actually slower! I have always believed that if i do not go to the washroom daily, it is very unhealthy. Obviously that is not true because everyone's rate of digestion is different!

If you think meat is fattening, check this out. There is only 3g of fats in every 100g of ham! There is 4g of fats in every 100g of pork! Better still,during thanksgiving, there is only 1g of fats in every 100g of turkey! =D

DISCLAIMER: What I shared is something that might be true, but i do not have the qualifications to determine what you got to eat. So pls pls pls, remember the pyramid you were thought in health education? Just follow it, be good buddy! :)

I'm NOT a bad boyfriend,really...

2009-06-19T14:01:00.012+08:00

I finally watched 'GHOST OF GIRLFRIENDS PAST'.

I personally find it amusing. Isn't this what some women think of men? Men drink like camels,sleep around and just their retarded self! These phrases are so common:Men are from Mars while women are from Venus. A man is given a penis and a head,but not enough blood to run both at the same time, be merry and not marry...

Conner Mead was amazing. He hooks up not only with girls, but girls with quality! I do suspect in real time, the show will bring up the marketability of professional photographers for a while,at least 2months for those shooting for men magazines!For guys,when we watch it,we do feel disgusted and grossed out by his deeds,but secretly we were left in awe of his 'abilities' as well. *It is just a movie after all*

I was sitting somewhere near the back,where the couple seats are.I saw so many ladies nudging and staring DEEP into their boyfriend's eyes. Fortunately, I wasn't on a date, sigh.I successfully found a guy who would watch such shows. I actually think this is unfair! When you are a guy who likes these kind of movie,finding guys to watch with you is extremely difficult(cause of the nature of the show,or they fear people thinking you are gay),yet when you ask a girl,everyone else including herself seem to have the wrong idea! It does suck to be a guy because girls seem so close to one another,holding hands,coffee for 5hours,talking for 2hours, hanging only the two of them! Everything that men can never do with a best friend in 3284728437 years!

Throughout the whole show, I felt Conner and Jennifer misunderstood one another. When Jennifer said ' I hope you know how you truly feel deep within yourself', I am so so sure Conner doesn't know what that meant! Personally, there were times when my ex-girlfriends tell me things that I seriously cannot comprehend, because they expect you to think the same things that they are thinking! To be fair, I also think sometimes she cannot get the idea I am trying to bring across!

Doesn't it amuse you how God created men and women? Both of the same species, created with ALMOST the same organs, yet their hearts and brains are SO DIFFERENT! For one, communication is a fatal area that usually do not sync between man-woman.

When man-man talk, it is usually light hearted,nothing too deep and can be forgotten until the next time u meet again. When woman-woman talk, it is NOT forgotten, and it will probably spread to woman-woman-woman woman! HOWEVER, when man-woman talk, it cannot be forgotten, it is expected to be remembered forever and an almost immediate action need to follow up!

I actually managed to list out some things each gender thinks that the other doesn't seem to understand!!! Hope this helps for those who are in courtship...(thanks for your contributions anyway!)

Women speak:
1) When we say 'It's up to you.I will go wherever you want to go', it means you must think of a place and activity within the next 30seconds.(no debate about this)
ADVICE for MEN: Think of a place as contingency before you fire this question. We all know ourselves when we asked,we have politeness and consideration in mind,thats why we asked!:P

2)Please try not to tell us to go dutch,until you know how to speak Dutch!
ADVICE for WOMEN: This is actually a good revelation of a man's intention. Men will only pay for ladies they are interested in. Sorry guys,our secret is out...

3)We don't like lame cheesy stuff,but being a gentleman would be great.
ADVICE for MEN: Well,don't this contradicts? Heck, continue to pull the chair and open the door...Do the cheesy stuff, doing it still makes you a gentleman!

4)We want to be proud of you,but you need not act cool in front of our parents/friends.
ADVICE for WOMEN: If we were born like tails as long as my dog, trust me, they would be tugged between our legs! We are not acting,we are TERRIFIED!

5)Don't company us on shopping trips,especially if you are gonna show a tired face after 6 shops!
ADVICE for MEN: You heard it guys. Join the guys for a game of football again, or... Use platforms like ebay,asos.com for your girlfriend/date.

6)Don't you ever say I am fat,even if I asked you for your HONEST opinion.
ADVICE for MEN: Seriously guys, someone need to step up and set up a hotline: 1800-bf-in-trouble. These questions need careful guidance.

7)For goodness sake,provide the right transportation!
ADVICE for MEN: I suspect when they say this,it means observe their footwear. If slippers,sports shoes etc...bike,train,bus no issues. If heels, don't make her walk more than 1.5km. Of course,this doesn't matter AT ALL if she is shopping.

8)Be 'smarter' when it is that time of the month!
ADVICE for MEN: Try to count or BEG her for warnings! When all else fail, remember the Hotline I suggested above? :)

9)We can company you to watch your Saturday football, even if it will be with your friends!!
ADVICE for MEN:Seriously,unless she is a football fan, please don't kill yourself! Otherwise,please bring a pillow along for her...Be considerate!

10)ALL-TIME FAVOURITE: Looks doesn't matter,its your character and personality that counts!
ADVICE for MEN: This is a good comfort line,but there are reasons why Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise has more friends/fans than you on Facebook. By the way, it works both ways. a) She is prompting you to chase her cause u have the personalities. b) She is telling you looks doesn't matter to her, but you can try again next time. TRICKY!

Men Speaks:
1)We always treated you as a princess,but sometimes we want to be the KING too!
ADVICE for WOMEN: Forgive us for our ego at times. Girl friends who i consulted on this give this reply: ..........

2)We're not gay but sometimes Ronaldo, Kaka and Torres are almost as important to us as much as you are as important to us! (Especially on Saturdays)
ADVICE for WOMEN: We need our dosage of 'girlfriend' time as well!haha...

3)Not all guys are like Raymond, who loves chick flicks and gossip girls.I mean look at him,still single! [Thanks ah bro;) ]
ADVICE for WOMEN: Seriously, I PERSONALLY believes guys who love such shows are more sensitive and adorable! :P

4)We tried to hint,but they still expect us to carry their bags.
ADVICE for WOMEN: Men carrying ladies' bags might be sweet, but it makes us look like a)thieves b)gay. Otherwise,don't carry such big and bulky bag. We know whats inside. Make-up,phone,umbrella,camera,notebook... Not necessary stuff @ home please! :)

5)It hurts us when you look bored and tired on dates.
ADVICE for WOMEN: Always warn the guy when you are suffering from fatigue. We always go out for a good happy time!

6) Even when we count/predict it and be more careful, we can never estimate the destructiveness of PMS.
ADVICE for WOMEN: Please do advice.

7) If possible,don't try to go for detours,just go straight to the point!
ADVICE for WOMEN: Knock and it shall be opened,seek and it shall be found, ask and it shall be given! HAHA.

8)When we are doing something and you ask a question,it is not that we are ignoring you!!
ADVICE for WOMEN: The fact is we really just can't multi-task like women.

9)You must understand Singapore is small,sometimes we run out of ideas as well!
ADVICE for MEN: Girls' reply will be that they don't need a fancy/hoo-haa date, they just want it simple and something from your heart. please dial the above mentioned SOS hotline!

10)We may say it too often,but we really meant every 'I love you' we said!
ADVICE for MEN: If you are 'fortunate' to have a girl who still doesn't believe after reading this, I suggest you put it into actions, like buying flowers and chocolates and everything nice! God bless your wallet :)

After reading this, how then does a man get attracted to a woman ,vice versa actually marry and live together for the rest of their lives? Despite the huge differences, human can still get along and be called husband and wife! When you think about it, it sounded almost impossible. I mean these are two people whose behaviours are totally different from the other!

The answer is because of one of the greates gift God has ever given to mankind:LOVE! I actually believe it is true that love conquers all! It is when people are more loving that they become more tolerant and patient towards one another!Who can actually escape from the fact that couples fight,quarrel and get misunderstood?It is a matter of how much you want to forgive one another and work it out in the MOST patient and understanding manner!You must remember you two got together not by accident!!

Love is such a powerful emotion that I'm sure guys can testify this statement. When we are single,we walk down Orchard Road and we would comment at least 32842983723 girls are hot/pretty(ok kidding,not so many)! Now think of the time when you were with a girl you love! Somehow no matter what, she is the prettiest girl in the whole wide world,and you don't care what others think of her. It is amazing right? This is exactly what love does to a man. Conner, like many guys are actually adorable and sweet guys, but they get misunderstood too often!What they truly need is a second chance....

I really hope this reflection will help the guys and girls out there who lost hope in love because it is an emotion that is a gift and blessing from God and it is love that bond us together and put our differences aside!

He finally gave in to his friend's girlfriend when she said
"There's someone you should meet."
At a crowded restaurant way 'cross town,
he waited impatiently.

She walked in, their eyes met, and they both stared.
And right there and then, everyone else disappeared,

But one boy, and one girl,
two hearts beating wildly.
To put it mildly, it was love at first sight.
He smiled, she smiled, and they knew right away
that this was the day they'd waited for all their lives.
And for a moment the whole world
revolved around one boy and one girl.

In no time at all they were standing there, in the front of a little church,
among their friends and family, repeating those sacred words.
Preacher said, "Son kiss your bride" and he raised her veil.
And like the night they met, time just stood still

For one boy, and one girl,
two hearts beating wildly.
To put it mildly, it was love at first sight.
He smiled, and she smiled, and they knew right away
that this was the day they'd waited for all their lives.
For a moment the whole world
revoloved around one boy and one girl.

He was holding her hand when the doctor looked up and grinned
"Congratulations. Twins..."

One boy, one girl.
Two hearts beting wildly.
To put it mildly it was love at first sight.
He smiled, and she smiled,
and they knew right away
that this was the day they'd waited for all their lives.
For a moment the whole world revoloved around one boy and one girl.

P.S please keep me in prayer. I have been super busy and caught up with NDP09, and i am feeling exhausted when the weekends approach! DO pray!! The joy of the Lord is my strength...

The True Value of $$$$

2009-06-13T11:23:00.013+08:00

As a big time football fan, I was constantly surprised and amazed this week by how much money is being transferred in the footballing world!!

How can ONE footballer be worth more than S$180 million? You know what kind of money is that!?!? You know what is that like? Imagine one footballer=one stadium? Real Madrid bought Kaka(around S$150 million) too.. For 'football for dummies' sake, a football team is made of 11 players. Can you imagine the whole team is worth ELEVEN football stadiums, and no it is not the size of Geylang Stadium, Tampines Stadium. I'm talking about Kallang stadium kind of size! Ridiculous right?

To make you even more annoyed and envious, they fetch S$450,000 per WEEK for salary! Now please say a big 'WOW'! That is to say, they can buy ONE PORSCHE weekly(note that this is in Singapore context,means got COE etc).

What must they do to earn such cash?

1)Attend training twice a day(don't be late).
2)A full 2-90 minutes(if you are not injured and substituted) of your favourite pastime of football every weekly(make sure your hair is in style,wore the right briefs).
3)Attend events(megawatt smiles please).
4)Marry a model wife(From a girl band would be good)

and u are S$450,000 richer!!

***If you are a NSF footballer who just enlist into BMT,u got confined for 2 weeks,and you come out a MILLIONAIRE!

Now,you try to reason your state of life with your boss and ask for pay rise! :)

Yes I do agree money is indeed important in the world and society that we live in! Can you imagine living without money? NO clothes,house,food?!?! Impossible to imagine. Money is something that can bring so much comfort and luxury into one's life! It can give kids good education, trendy dressings and even luxurious items! The kids in my parents' schools are using BLACKBERRY and they are just in the primary and secondary level!

Money has somehow devalue many things in our lives.Couples fight over their finance and it leads to divorce.It destroys families and lives! Gambling,for one, ruins families,at times robbing them their basic necessities for a acceptable standard of living. I get shocked to hear how people can put their HOUSE at stake,especially when they have a family. If he loses it,it is fine he doesn't have a roof over his head,cause he expected it, but what about his wife and children!? I think they become victims of his actions! Many of us have heard of these cases before: People committing suicide due to financial difficulties! Do we end something that was a gift from God for something(money) that will one day perish?

Lets get back to the start:
Money is a currency to illustrate/represent the value of something. For a man who suicides, what he is trying to say is that money is of GREATER value than his own life! For a father/husband that gambles on his family/house, to that person money is of GREATER value than his family! Now if that is not crazy for you,tell me what is!!

In the olden days, the sole purpose of money is to get rid of barter trade. It was meant to be CONVENIENT! Oh well, isn't all these familiar? Anything that was meant to make lives more convenient and easy are always abused. Look at internet,look at the gadgets we can get hold of now! Things that were supposed to make post mailing a thing of the past becomes a SPAMMING and cheating networking device.

For the past week,as I pondered why I am not earning like how Ronaldo and co. is earning, I realised how fair God is no matter how corrputed the world that he created may be. There are some things that money can NEVER buy! There are things like Pride,Loyalty and Happiness.

I volunteered myself to be a table host for 73/08 commission parade. It is because

1) I can get to wear the No.1 all over again(I think it is way too sexy,maybe especially on me!)
2) I get to enjoy free food that night
3) I get to know more about the poor souls that are coming to my unit
4) I get to watch the parade as a cadet,participate as a cadet AND 2LT and watch it again as a 2LT!!

When i looked at the parade square( trust me i had goosebumps throughout the whole parade),memories just flood back and I recalled myself standing there on that ground waiting to throw my peak cap!!! I could see some much joy and pride on each of the cadet on display, and I was so happy for them because I believed they worked hard for it! Hendryk, who was my OCS company friend OOC-ed and he persevered and never gave up! He took up the next batch of engineer cadet course and commissioned on that day! I am so proud of you bro! Your fighting spirit is indeed admirable!

Happiness is something that no money can purchase! Many rich people think that by having the money,they have the joy and fulfillment in life. In fact,that is not the case. Their fame might criticise them and we have read of some of tem entering rehabs because they think drug was an alternative for their 'fulfillment' in their lives.When the cadets march back in, get their parents to put on the new rank,and throw the peak cap, I almost felt as estastic as them! They ran and hugged one another,totally ignoring the fact that what they are doing is UNGLAM and many hot chicks were around. I put a picture here just to prove my point!

;) not bad right?

I enjoyed my week,and really congratulate the new cadets for commissioning! You worked hard,but sad to say,you need to work HARDER now! Remember my friends, the problem is not on the money itself, but it is on how we value the things in our lives!

P.S I know I am talking about money,but check out my FIRST GSS buy!!!

APPRECIATION is an act that should never stop!

2009-06-08T11:20:00.009+08:00

I'm so sorry that my entry come in so late! I never had the time to blog last week! Things are so messy, I really must thank Daryl(My PA) who help sort so many things out! It amazes me how he handles all the different timetables and schedules! Oh well,he is AWESOME nonetheless!

Congratulations to Satish who ORD last Friday! He is a great help! Despite the fact that I'm so much young, so much more ignorant to all the technicality of the radios that we are working with, he helped and guided me along the way,and I owe him big time! Thanks again!

OF COURSE.... The upcoming ORD candidate is none other than Sebastian Tan Jun Jie(The guy in the middle). He is an awesome guy, a great friend and mentor! He is an IT guy who fix everything and anything that is related to computers. However,he never manage to do up my WINDOW LIVE MAIL. Never mind,all is forgiven in the name of our friendship! He was tempted to extend his ORD,but the civilization is calling out to him. I do not blame him. You have done your part to the best ability,close this chapter of your life,and get on to a more EXCITING and VIBRANT life ahead!! Thank you Sebastiny...

All these guys leaving me suddenly really got me thinking and pondering what is the purpose of a friendship? We build bridges of friendships,only to let it go sooner or later??Is that the whole idea of a friendship?

APPRECIATION is an act that should never stop!

I was talking to one of my guys in camp bout the good old days in school,training etc. It does struck me that more often than not,we seldom appreciate the things that we did in the past and what we are doing in the present...

I was checking out the dictionary and this is what i found:

REGRET-a sense of loss, disappointment, dissatisfaction, etc.

In my opinion,it is a word being used way too often! Just last week,a friend of mine REGRETTED not surprising the girl of his dream during her birthday! Guess what happened? Another guy with similar intention did it,and now they are contacting one another. Poor friend of mine...

Listen from experiences, read the papers. People always regret only AFTER it is over! Someone regret not being nice to his girlfriend,and now loses her to another man! Someone regret not treating a loved one nicely, until he/she loses that person. Don't you think all these statements are being used so often?

I had a scare during my A level when my grandma was diagnosed with stage 3 intestinal cancer. That was seriously a nerve-wrecking moment for me. I never lost anyone in my life before and I really love my grandma. What happens if she goes away? Have I spent adequate time with her to actually let her go? I don't think so. I was fortunate because God healed her and she is alive and kicking again right now!=D

Think back of the last time you said 'I love you' to your parents, or a hug to your sibling? Personally, I haven't done so ever since dinosaurs extinct from this planet 298748274 years ago! Looking back, I regret it! It is cute and so much easier to do when you are 8, and not a good old 20!! I came over to Singapore in 1998,when i was in Primary three. Ever since then, my parents got to shuttle between JKT-SIN,SIN-JKT every fortnight! To save cost,they travel on flights that are of reasonable price, but have to take off only at the weirdest hours of the day. Never once did they complain,never once did they whine. Unfortunately, my sister and I sometimes took it for granted, even during weekends that they are around, we were too busy and caught up with our own activities.

Can you imagine how hurt and unappreciated they feel? I don't know about you,but if I come back,after flying 2hrs on a plane to see my children and they are not around, I will personally go around the island to bring them back home! *This is probably why I think I am not ready to be a father*

Honestly, we can't really blame ourselves for this sometimes. Our hectic lifestyle here in Singapore have really 'rushed' us so much.6 years of primary school,and u move to 4 yrs of secondary school.2 years of college before 2 years of military service.The people you meet just come and go.To make things worse, the concept of a catching up session have been reduced to just:

coffee + hand shake + a photo taken together = catching up session.

Now is it then just a formality to meet up or genuinely finding out more about the other person's life? Even so, how much following up do you do to the friends that you met up with?

I learn my lesson and over the weekend, I actually bought envelopes and stamps to write to my friends whom I may not spend as much time together with due to different circumstances, like their busy schedule, my ever beloved Singapore birthday etc. It might be a small act really,they might just do the most basic of human instinct 'read-crush-throw', but such small notes of encouragement,appreciation can do wonders! Face it, everyone wants to feel appreciated,to be part of something,to be noticed.It all just gotta start from YOU!

Start appreciating the little and big things around you,cause you need them as much as they need you! They may be here TODAY,but they MIGHT not be here tomorrow!Let me leave u with quotes from a song:

Don't take too long to say,
I love you to the ones you love,
cause time has a habit of slipping away...

Knowing the unknown!

2009-05-31T01:12:00.011+08:00

Thank god, Raymond is still ALIVE!! This week was hectic! It went like this:

Monday- Set up floating platform.Till 2230Hrs
Tuesday-Set up floating platform.Till 2100Hrs
Wednesday- IMT. Messy,chaotic!
Thursday- Range till 2330Hrs
Friday- Range till 2330Hrs
Saturday- Up at 0330 for MTV filming.

I am so tired,and couldn't find the time to blog.Rushing it once i got back home(not camp-home,but Home-home). By the way, I reached home at 1000Hrs on Saturday and knocked out till 7pm for dinner.Slumber zone...

I think it was a brilliant idea by MacDonalds to give away a 'cool' glass for every Extra-Value meal purchased!i highly recommend people to collect the cups and keep it on your table. Every week,check out the number of cups you have collected.I tried this out last week,and i was shocked with how often I actually eat macdonalds. See below:

Raymond few years ago

Macdonalds cups

THE PRESENT RAYMOND PICTURE CANNOT BE SHOWN!CHANGES VARY TOO DRASTICALLY FOR VIEWERSHIP!

Guess what!! I was shocked to find out a friend of mine(whom I never talked in the LONGEST time) actually reads my blog. Now i got to be more careful with what I write,haha! I seriously thought this thing is only read by me,myself and i! never mind,I believe whatever I share would bless people,and if i know it would,why not share it?I think that's the sole reason why I set it up in the first place!So to my new readers! By the way,my friend Jennifer got her job already.Now, where the heck is mine?

It is most emotional and depressing to be in the Armed Forces to know schools EVERYWHERE is enjoying holidays and East Coast Park is so crowded these days! Secondary school kids having ONE month break,while uni kids having THREE months break! The duration of NS is like Junior College.Two years,but how many breaks do you get?Sad to say,NONE! Life really isn't fair,cause life isn't square!The shape of life isn't circle either(if that is what you are thinking). The shape of life is determined and shaped by you! :)

I was wondering what reflection do I want to put this week.I admit it has been too much on love,and i don't want to touch on it too much,though discussion on that topic is still going on with some friends.

-----What if we know the unknown????-------

I wished I know what the future ahead has in store for me! Think of these situation:

-Knowing that your friend will be 8mins 23seconds late(I'm not saying who in specific).
-Knowing what kind of guy/girl you will date and eventually marry.
-Knowing when the next bus will be arriving(i personally hate this very much).
-Knowing the career you will ACTUALLY have in the future!
-Knowing when the market will crash or pick up(who would mind being Buffet?).
-Knowing the score of Man Utd(If i knew they would play so badly,i wouldn't stay up and went zombie at range the next day).
-Knowing what your date's reaction would be if you plan something for her(Can u imagine making a mockery of yourself just for her?)

If you know the answers to these questions,life would be so much more better,so much easier to live and have less worries for unpredictability.If only I know what i would do in the future,it wouldn't be much a hassle to select the university course I want to study. If i knew who i would marry,I wouldn't have wasted time dating aimlessly and hurting not only yourself but others.

The thing here that is 'between' us and our destiny is indeed TIME! Imagine: Now you do not know who you will marry. Give yourself 5 years,then you are actually MARRYING someone,and there you know who you will marry. Unfortunately, time is something that is beyond our control!That is why we have time capsule where people of the future can know the things of the past.However,you never hear of time capsule where people of the past know the things of the future.The fact is,how this world will look like,how the culture of Singaporeans will be like in ten years,or the state of N. Korea in 12months will be unknown until the TIME comes.

Your destiny is unknown to you,but you can shape your life towards the destiny that you want to achieve!Why is it then that some people end up not attaining the destiny they create and aim for,while some others do reach their destiny in life?A relationship you thought would work out till that special day suddenly came crashing down? A scholar whose results took a dip and never came back up?

I believe that the reason is because of how they use the TIME factor i discussed earlier. You had believed this guy/girl is for you in the beginning,but somewhere in between the time you dated him/her to the time you are actually going to walk the aisle with her, you decided to see someone else,believing there are better out there.You decided not to work for the relationship and give up at the slightest hint of misunderstanding.In simpler context, I'm sure many would agree with me that there was a time when you wanted to achieve something,but got distracted by either friends' influence or people opinion. I have always wanted to start a business,I actually started an online fashion shop,but I admit I got discouraged when people constantly question the authenticity of the goods,and I wonder sometimes how long will this kind of business last? In the end,i stopped doing it once I enlist into army.

My friends,the key to KNOWING the UNKNOWN is really how you set yourself on a goal/vision,and how you spend your time while achieving that goal!The road will be unpredictable,the time duration for the journey remains UNKNOWN,but you got to keep focus,work hard and believe that you will reach there one day! Enough whining that it is unfair not to be able to have a 'sneak peek' at your future,rather create the future yourself!Trust me that when the circumstances in your life changes from KNOWING the UNKNOWN to KNOWING the KNOWN, you will know the hard work and perseverance is all worth it!

Ignorance isn't bliss,marriage is!!

2009-05-22T01:38:00.008+08:00

URGENT help needed!! There are some things i need help in!

1)Does anyone know how to make a blog look more attractive?i visit my own blog at times to read up on some reflections and seriously,it is really dull! If you can help,please please please advise me!

2) Since university is having their ridiculously LONG holiday, i have a friend who is actually looking for a job! Yes she doesn't make it sound urgent,but i could tell she wants one! Anyway she is a bright Indonesian girl who is responsible with the task at hand and one who wouldn't give up easily! I personally believe Indonesians give quality work,and very creative as well.I am seriously not saying this because I am bias! REALLY! Well,her name is Jennifer, I would like to leave her contacts here for your convenience,but she will kill me then! Jennifer I did my part!

3) I am wondering if I should get a job myself.It is my one year anniversary for being being a single and my weekends are pretty dull these days. If u have some temporary jobs(serving ice cream,making coffee) that is done over the weekend,please inform me? I really would appreciate it.I will declare that Raymond Wang(Ong) Li Min never washed a plate,served coffee or whip up any good dish!BY THE WAY, if u 'start dating' is what u are going to suggest to me,I thought of that before!HAHA,but no thank you. not so soon,I am sure.

4)Looking at the week ahead,I need your prayers and encouragement! Monday-Tuesday will be used for media event and range preparation,while Wednesday will be the media event where we are going to showcase to the media our New media initiatives. Thursday and Friday will be our conducting of range! Next week is a back-to-back heavyweight activity happening concurrently! God loves and bless me still...

This week is pretty hectic with all the plannings and preparations for the Media event. Thank God for a fellow officer who is really professional in handling the range while i do the NDP preparation. I also got a Personal Assistant called Daryl Ang that is really a blessing because he becomes a walking agenda for me!I should upload his picture soon enough!

On the 20th May 2009,Wednesday, I was honored to witness the wedding of Randy Sim and Sim Shun Ai!!! A really lovely couple! Can u imagine they have been dating for YEARS!? It is so rare in our society now to hear from such instances. Married for YEARS,yeah normal. Dating for YEARS?now that is smth extraordinary.I wanted to take out my digital camera to catch some of his sweet moments,I found out my camera battery died!Utterly disappointed!So,i did what i do best! Take photos from facebook! Congratulations Randy.Be fruitful and multiply,Wuhahaha!

As i sat there during the ceremony,listening to pastor's short message,it was indeed a very sweet and romantic session! For once,i heard a couple who recited the vow in CHINESE!I must admit i didn't understand what was said,but I think that is really cool.I felt the two points shared to have a successful and happy marriage was indeed very true:

1)Don't stop loving one another.Many couples end their relationships after 6-7 months! The reason being?The feeling isn't there,there is no more spark etc. Very common! Can you imagine getting married,holding a commitment you make to one individual and his/her family? It is never easy to love,even more so to stay IN love.

2)Don't stop communicating to one another.I love talking,i can talk non-stop, but there is something i got to admit. It is easy talking to a girl,but never easy to understand what she is saying! Or rather,what she is trying to get you to understand! Communications is the key to any relationship!

Of course,the reason why i shared is not to scare you, but rather giving you some reasons to believe that 'there is a happily ever after' even in the world that we live in. Okay,a joke I heard from someone! 'Marriages are made in heaven.But so are thunders and lightnings'. your relationship is something that you can dictate and simply put,it is the sharing of your life with another person.

For those of you in marriage or in courtship,firstly, I envy you. You are in an unique position that members in the Lonely Heart Club is not experiencing.Last time you make your own decision,now you CONSULT before you decide. Please note i used the word consult because it means not only informing or ordering,but when you consult,you are EXPECTED to listen to their opinions and point of view. How happy a relationship turn out to be is totally dependent on you and your partner. It is never meant to be easy,never meant to be convenient, but if you recall the happy moments,and if you could just think of the future for the both of you,you know it will be all worth it!=D

P.S I am so sorry for coming up with an entry so late.I admit its overdue,but I'm so caught up with work I really did my entries in snip bits and i forgot what i wanted to say at times! Nevertheless,thanks for your understanding,and i will make it a point,at least ONE entry per week! I promise!

Bring out the SALMON within you!

2009-05-14T00:25:00.013+08:00

Have you been in a situation where you really don't know what to do because you THOUGHT that it was the dead end?Maybe its in a relationship,in an assignment,in a tasking/project, or even an examination/grading? The feeling is incredibly horrible because that is not how you wanted it to turn out and you wished you could go back to where you started!

I was researching,HAHA,make me sound so hardworking.ok fine,I was reading on salmon,because i love sushi and i was trying to find out why their flesh is orange,so cool!They are special from ordinary animals! The revelation i got however was more than that! Human is exactly like salmon! Salmons are born in fresh water,migrate to salt water,and returns to fresh water to mate! Please don't let your mind wander off and think of that neighbor/friend who is now in Australia or America!Haha...This is of course not the thing about salmon i want to share with you all!

I personally felt trapped when I was dumped by my girlfriend right in the middle of my OCS training! Can you imagine how close i got into depression? I honestly thought she was the one for me,but obviously that wasn't the case! For almost 2 months,I felt so helpless.YES!!!i felt HOPELESS! I believed I didn't deserve the treatment but not everything WILL work your way!

I still remember vividly that afternoon in the ACS(I) boarding school dining hall... My parents just collected my sec 3 mid year results and I sat there watching my parents CRY for the FIRST time. I thought i disappointed them BIG TIME!

I think Salmon is a kind of fish that people should respect more than they eat them!

Salmons are surely determined creatures who probably have strong beliefs in themselves.They are able to swim upstream to go back to where they were born to spawn.This is an amazing feat because who would make their own lives so much tougher just to mate? Maybe some of us are facing an upstream where we thought its impossible to get out of the situation you are in!The truth is,there should never be a case of giving up! Have you tried swimming against a current?Now imagine a creature less than 10 times your size swimming against RAPIDS! Did you know that a salmon can travel over 900 miles (1,400 km) and climb nearly 7,000 feet (2,100 m) from the Pacific ocean as they return to spawn.If only we have this level of faith and beliefs in themselves,I'm sure we will be able to strive to greater heights!

The last week has been hectic as usual.I kept delaying this upload due to the workload. On Saturday,I went to the zoo with my JC best friends! Wenlong,Daniel and Yuan Bing! I actually forgot that I'm in the civilian world!I went there early,and you guessed it right,the rest of the them were ULTRA late.

The two culprits!

We went to the zoo because Yuan Bing wanted to go there really badly. She definitely has a great connection with the animals there! I think she never change at all!She is still as noisy as ever!This is the birthday girl!

Lin Yuan Bing

Well,when i think back of my college days,these are the people that made it so fun and enjoyable to be in school!!

Thereafter,I went to Taka Seoul Garden to meet up with my BMTC friends.It is really awesome cause I get to meet up with my 'lost' friends!We will wait till ORD!:)

the LONELY HEARTS CLUB!

2009-05-10T22:42:00.009+08:00

If you haven't joined my facebook group,and you're single,PLEASE DO! Go search 'lonely heart club is cool'! The name itself says it all.It is a COOL club.I got to admit i was never good in relationships,and as i type,I am reminded that it is almost exactly ONE YEAR since i was attached with this girl.She is someone special,but still someone I got to let go. Basically I created this group because when I JUST got single some time back,I thought being single,getting dumped is painful,hopeless and lonely! With this group,I'm reminded that breaking up is a process that literally EVERYONE went through before,and you are NOT alone!

Now then,WHAT exactly does being attached/in love mean?

To be in a relationship,there are a few stages:

1)Attraction(this is the time you go 'WHOSE THAT CHICK IN RED DRESS' and somehow gravity seem to be stronger to your left,and your head keep spinning there to get glimpses of her.)

2)Do or Die(this is where i recommend prayer & fasting.This stage involves the time to introduce yourself,and establish your communication,either by MSN,GSM network or email address.Subsequently,it is when you ask her out for that first date.)

3)Courtship (if u get through stage 2 safely,stage 3 is the time you find out whether your partner has sweaty palms,rough hands etc.)

4)attachment(rosy initially,but trials will come in.Don't bear with it,you must DEAL it.)

5)Engagement and wedding(TOO BAD,TOO LATE!!happily ever after.)

Many people would claim that being in love is when everything else around you 'fades' away! YEAH RIGHT!if that ever happen,you are NOT in love,you are in a rocker flying out of this atmosphere! but fine,we all know what this feeling really is. Honestly,I would think that this only happens during the phase of courtship.Everything is a bliss until there really isn't anything else you need to know about her,and you realize the reason why all else 'fades' away is because you are in Mars and she is in Venus!BOTH OF YOU ARE JUST SO DIFFERENT.

Unfortunately,many don't realize that it is really tough to find two people who are VERY similar. It may be due to frustration or just the fatigue trying to 'tolerate' each other and one party decides to give up in a relationship.Isn't this how a relationship usually end? OK fine,painful truth shall be out.

AH,of course,having a third party is of course a catalyst to everything i have just discussed.I guess it is in our nature to have pride and greed.We want only the best for ourselves.Men fight over a pretty girl.Women fight over a rich/famous man.Heard that before?I sincerely think that it is in-built in our nature to have this greed and pride!A corrupted world we live in. I just watched Wolverine X-men,and even his girlfriend cheated on him.so my friends,if you fall into this category, fret not.If MUTANTS like X-men is not spared,what more you,mere human?HAHA! hey,I'm kidding.do know raymond still love u!

Of course,i created this club,WITH A SOLUTION!

---Now that i joined,NOW WHAT?---

Firstly,it is not true that when you're single,you are lonely.In fact single is NOT lonely at all,because there is no restriction to whom you want to talk to,hang out with etc! It probably takes time to get over a relationship,but that doesn't mean that you got to be lonely all the way! You deserve something better,something more fun!

Secondly,don't chase it if it isn't meant for you.This is usually the case,especially with a crush on a 'Jessica-Alba' kind of standard. No point trying hard to find one,i learn this the hard way,by the way.It is like a donkey that has a dangling carrot in front of him.The biggest irony is that the master managed to dangle the carrot in front of the donkey through a carrot PLANTATION!We will get so engrossed to ONE carrot,that we miss out the many others around us.The worst thing is,we STILL won't get the dangling carrot in the end!Accept the fact that God had it all planned out for you.Then when he/she comes along,whisper to yourself, 'HA,you are way too fortunate to have me'! However,do bear in mind Raymond suspect they think likewise!

Love,in itself is unpredictable,amusing yet charming in its own way.As hard as you try,you will not find love.But no matter how much you try to resist when in love,you just can't help yourself.How do we know if he/she is interested in you?how do we know if she/he is the ONE for you?These are questions that I probably can't answer.As I mentioned,love is unpredictable,but it is in this unpredicted moment,that you might hit stage 1 of attraction!Well friends,till you find that special one for you,do know Raymond is still around to be your friend!Cheers!

P.S i need to upload mothers day stuff too!

You are BETTER than what you think!

2009-05-06T01:01:00.003+08:00

I have been so busy this whole week,I'm only blogging into the wee hours for small sections of this entry each time!Well,if you have yet to go onto NDP09 New media platforms please do so.The guys put in SO MUCH hard work,trust me they are awesome. They are:

www.ndpeeps.com
www.facebook.com/ndpeeps
www.twitter.com/ndpeeps
www.youtube.com/ndpeeps
-The blogs' links can be found in the www.ndpeeps.com.

Basically,New Media tries to showcase the heroes that creates the whole NDP show itself.All the way from the sweepers,cleaners,construction workers to the participants.Interesting?YES. Hard work?TRIPLE YES.

In previous posts,I have shared how I was kind of let down by some of my friends who are not doing too well in their respective lives and because I pondered on it,this is how this entry came about.

!!!!!YOU ARE BETTER THAN WHAT YOU THINK!!!!!

Firstly,trust me that you are placed in this world for a reason and purpose!The best thing of it all is that it is for something GOOD!Remember the song,'we are the champions,we are the champions'?The song Man Utd will sing twice this month?It is in fact true that we have no time for losers,because nobody is here on this earth as a loser. Remember my first blog entry? The fact that of 123189798374 sperms, YOU are the CHOSEN one to become you of this magnified size(300x upsize)! The interesting thing here is that whether you succeed depends largely on how you perceive the matter. If you think that something is too daunting for you,then most likely it is REALLY too daunting for you.

We always have this mindset that we're too lousy,maybe its due to previous failures,or some of us just have a more pessimistic mindset compared to rest? Honestly,I believe this isn't your fault because we live in a world that is corrupted,where people steal and kill! However,no matter how corrupted it may be, to think that you are too lousy or that you have no purpose here on earth due to your circumstances and shortcomings is surrendering to the 'fruits' of a corrupted world!Remember that you need not follow what is of this earth because you're SPECIAL!

Lastly, we keep thinking that we are too small in the circumstances that we are in. Currently serving my National Service, I seen so many NSF,despite their commanding role,could not pluck some courage to speak up and voice their concerns! It is the same everywhere else. We feel small compared to the task that is ahead of us,we fell small compared to the superiors around us? I tell my friends like Sandy and Jimmy,they will tell you there is nothing wrong being small because good things come in small packages. I guess for once this is true.Look at David.A small boy who killed a giant! You can kill your giant too!

Just a reminder to all filial children out there!!!This Sunday is actually Mothers' Day, so please remember to celebrate Mothers' Day!Show them how much you love them!:):)

The love waiting for you...

2009-05-01T23:00:00.006+08:00

You all know what I'm gonna say right?? I'M SO GONNA WATCH THIS SHOW!!!! Friends have told me that this show is really nice,and i personally think its cool.Imagine yourself like a cat.When a cat sense danger,her claws come out,when Raymond get irritated and offended,his CLAWS fly out too,like wolverine! WOOO,scientists should start exploring into my ideas. I was annoyed the past three days,like seriously these claws would come in pretty useful.but SOMEONE,just SOMEONE,i wouldnt say who,will get hurt real bad!

The other show that i started watching is 'BEST FRIENDS FOREVER' on MTV.The star in this reality show is none other than the infamous Paris Hilton.Of course,I'mnot saying a manly guy like me actually watch such a show,but I chanced upon the show and it is AMAZING!!Don't believe me? Let me ask, u know these lingo: TTYL(talk to you later),TTYS(talk to you soon). But have u ever heard TTYN(talk to you NEVER)?haha.well,just for your info,that is what she says to every candidate that she eliminates on the show.Do watch it,at least once!haha...

Having a week to be in the comfort of the camp allowed me to think and process my thoughts more than when I'm outfield. This is OF COURSE not to say I'm dumb when I'm out there in the greens!I know this is a 'touchy-mushy' issue people wouldn't expect Raymond to talk about,but surprise surprise!!

Numerous studies have shown that the NUMBER ONE reason for people to fall into depression and suicide is LOVE!Someone once said that it is the ONLY emotion that a human can reason with himself that there is a reason for him to die because of love.Look at Jack 'n' Rose in Titanic, Romeo and Juliet in Shakespeare!!If not,look at your parents.They love you so much that they work so hard to provide and ensure you live such a comfortable life.

LOVE's general definition I last checked is 'a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person'.For a man,it is probably 'sexual passion or desire'.nah,I am kidding,i know i am not doing the man species a favor here.

How do you then tell if you're in love?To be honest,there is no answer to that in my opinion.You may make a promise to yourself that you'll never want to fall in love in the next 2 years.But one sunny,fine day along your school corridor,this dashing,gorgeous 'God's greatest creation' walks along,your heart beats as fast as your lips move while spelling 'HIPPOPOTAMUS'. Of course,this is the ideal case.The fairy tale,the 'happily ever after' we are all seeking for!Just for your sake,my friend,i will hope that it will be the case for you.

However,like i mentioned,we live in a broken down world where no love is pure,and love mey not be complete.Some are abused by their own parents,some got horrible relationship experiences,while some are cheated of their emotion.Some may hate the state that they are in because of loneliness or even hatred that resulted from the lack of love in one's life.

I personally experienced painful relationship experiences that still hurt at times.I admit I wasn't a good boyfriend(i don't know how to tell,but my ex told me this).Then again,which ex wouldn't say this right?If not they will still be with you!I loved her so much,but the relationship still come crumbling down.My lesson from that was that it really doesn't matter how much you two love one another,because for a relationship to work,it is not for two pairs of eyes to look into one another,but rather for two pairs of eyes to look into the right direction.I think that is probably why God made lovers hold hands,so that there is no need to actually look into each other's eyes so often.

Lately,I have the honor of listening to some of my friends,and some actually hate the state that they are in in life,while some got out of a relationship.I know it is tough and painful,but I personally think that the 2 medicine for LOVE is:HOPE and TIME! 'Hope in the face of uncertainty,the audicity of hope,that is God's greatest gift to us'.Pick yourself up,because life still goes on,and time doesn't wait for you!Build a future for yourself and you'll experience love soon enough!I believe in ya!

Check this out!http://sg.news.yahoo.com/ap/20090430/ten-us-tribeca-soderbergh-s-porn-star-5e343d7.html Interesting stuff.The irony of life!! Porn star who ended up a movie star!! "Anything's possible when it comes to making a film, whether it be adult or mainstream," says Grey.

If the love spreads as fast as the flu

2009-04-29T20:54:00.006+08:00

Firstly, I am twenty for real! my wish list this year is pretty simple and realistic:

1)To ORD in peace.
2)to be able to have holiday with my family(including my long lost sister from LA).
3)please get my license for driving.

It will be a horrible one though because i have a presentation that i dread on the day itself(today) and the next day,on LABOUR DAY,guess who is on duty in camp?woo,PLEASE CLAP for the hero of the day! I am truly honored to do my part to protect my 'second home'.

The other officers in my battalion surprised me with a cake today!I thought it was really sweet,and i always do such thing for others,so I was shocked to get it myself,BUT i should have known them!!how can they be such kind souls?IMPOSSIBLE! but well, Thank you guys for making such a great night for me.They brighten up my days,and really cheer me up!Really proud of this batch of officers! BUT BUT BUT,none wanna take my friday,labour day DOO! idiots.

Back to the week's events.This week we are engaged with the Media Brief for NDP09!It was really eventful,and it is an eye-opener.Go check this out:
http://www.straitstimes.com/Breaking%2BNews/Singapore/Story/STIStory_370350.html

I thought it was cool to invite them for tea, they listen to you,and u have a chance to be in the media. What do you think if that's done for my birthday next year?haha.Please don't tell the newspapers and TV stations of my plans just yet!

We are currently facing this phase of time just like how it was when SARS hit us globally.This time,the animal in contention is a pig. Check the fact of this virus fron the link:http://edition.cnn.com/2009/HEALTH/04/27/swine.flu.international/index.html#cnnSTCOther1

It is a type A influenza virus that is transmitted from pigs to human.The second part of that phrase,i still don't understand. It is ironic that people keep dogs as pet,sleep with them,play with them,live with them,but they don't transmit any disease to human.That is probably why they are under this category called PETS,haha!Nevertheless,do take good care of yourself.

For those who knows how to see such thing.For all u know,this is a giant sperm,but i believe that yahoo don't give false information!

Look at the smilarities from SARS:

Swine Flu

SARS

The obvious similarity in my opinion is that people have came up with nice words to call the viruses.why not PIG flu?why swine flu?sound so classy :S

I am concerned because my sister is in the States and i have relatives there.To make it worse,they have recorded their first death case. Do keep them in prayer!:)

how time waits for no man!

2009-04-26T21:40:00.002+08:00

in exactly 4 days,Raymond is going to celebrate his 18th BIRTHDAY!woohoo...ok ok,fine fine denial i know. He is celebrating his 20th birthday!Boy is he growing older day by day!I still find it EXTRA significant because there is only one other person i know born on the same day as me! Thats Sarah Sim,my JC classmate.and the debate as to who was born earlier is still going on...

Looking back,I believed everything that has happened,happened with a purpose and reason.I learnt so much,be it in term of relationships,lifestyle and many more.I realised I lost contact of so many of my friends but i am glad for the existance of FACEBOOK!Just last week,i was introduced to a group called 'were u from 4I' or smth like that.Guess what?i found so many of my primary sch classmates!Everyone changed so much!and I believe it is for the better.

As this special occasion draws near,I decided I will have a quiet 20th,and a loud 21st!And i drew out a list of things i wish to accomplish! Anyway,you guys should try it out!

1)not to curse and swear,even in army camp(includes words like DAMN)
2)Sleeps before 12 midnight daily!
3)Restrain from any form of gassy drinks!

OK,this will be tough!I will try it for at least one week.No harm trying. I got quite a few feedback about where this MALE is...well,that SIA flight was going to Maldives!MALE is apparently the capital,so I will be going to MALE for moneyhoon,and FEMALE for retirement,HAHAHA.

Something is troubling me,and I think i will share it because it will help and bless you in one way or another.

WHAT DO YOU WHEN YOUR LEADER ISN'T AS COMPETENT AS YOU?

*Disclaimer* When i typed the above title,it was from the point of view that the person assume the leader isnt competent.

Face it,many times in our lives,we meet someone that you must submit to and you wondered 'why do i even submit to such person'. It is probably because he isn't competent,he isn't responsible,he isn't tactful with his words, he isn't very good with human relations. Even worse,it is just because this person offended you once or twice.

Firstly,we live in a broken down world where nobody is born perfect.There was,there isn't and they will not be anyone like that again.Ever heard this phrase: Everybody gets something,but nobody gets everything? This is very true because God created us to compliment one another.Even from the history of mankind,Adam and Eve were created to compliment each other's talents and abilities.

I was in this catagory before,because i find it really difficult to respect a leader i thought didn't deserve my respect at all.Maybe you feel this way too,but soften your heart,meditate and think bout it.Who are we to judge the ability of this person?If we are put in their shoes,and them in your shoes,will you do a PERFECT job?More often than not,the answers to the questions stated are NO.

More importantly,believe it or not,God has placed this leader into your life for a PURPOSE!He isn't your leader for no reason.If we judge him,or disrespect him,you are showing disrespect to God. This leader,no matter how 'lousy' he is,is accountable for you!Submit to your leaders,they are chosen among the many for a reason.You might not see it now,but you will in time to come!:)

A good team of work force is one who consist of a leader who knows and FULLY assured that he has the trust of his men. It also consist of Men who knows that their leader has their welfare in mind,and has a vision for the group.Without a vision/purpose,the team is as good as nothing! Do your part,be accepting and tolerant to people who has different views from you,and who knows,you will learn something you never knew before!!

I tried something new!it is called the Strawberry yoghurt smoothie i think. It is really nice!!haha. You guys should try it..Especially when u know...those moments when you stand in 7-11 not knowing what to get.Grab one!It is nice.

I wish i can blog more,but my netbook is still down.Please pray for it,for me and Boy am i growing Old.Goodbye Teen,hello TY!!:(:(:(

Great power comes great responsbility!

2009-04-19T00:42:00.007+08:00

A superhero said this and i forgot who,but it definitely is TRUE!Some things cropped up this weekend,and i honestly felt I am responsible to it! I am being too micro in the small things of eacht platform,and lose sight of the general picture.In the end,one info wasnt passed out and the rest is history!

LEARNING POINT:Make sure your guys are patient,and dont get into the small small details,for when one pays too much attention to one thing,many things can/will go wrong!

I went to the airport today to relief some stress!!Many things happened man.

1)My netbook played punk and dies on me!(now i m offline during the weekdays.I have many documents inside)
2)NDp stuff,enough said
3)My training stuff to be done over weekend.UNFAIR to me and my guys!!

WELL,to relief some stress,I went to the airport today with my church friends!Was supposed to meet Gary and Richard,but we have a few more pleasent surprises along the way!:)These are my cheering-me-up team:

from left:MYSELF,Richard,WeiQiang and Gladwin!

Something about me!I love the airport.It has food,people and an atmosphere to chill!Time seems to keep still at that place.It is the second best place to the beach,ANYTIME!!I mean look that this picture.It is so bright,yet the time on the clock was almost 8pm!!!What a bright cheerful place...

We talked about many stuff,like the kinna girls we like,and what we look out for.I publicly declared I want to marry at 26-27 yrs old!Awesome,that means after 2 weeks from now,I got to focus and target my finance and time frame to get a girlfriend and stable relationship.I somehow doubt this happening anytime soon.I m pretty comfortable being single.

I am also encouraged to see two of my friends who donated their blood.I think it takes courage to do that!!Unfortunately,I am so scared of needle,a phobia!!ouch..But i guess i will give it a try one day,and experience how it is to be a HERO!!wooo..

I reckon we spent 4hours at coffee bean alone!! I saw something interesting and new and purchased it.INTRODUCING Mini Orea Cheesecake.

My rating 2.5/5!!! I honestly can't really taste the oreos in it!Just the cheesecake.Maybe it is because the oreos are mini,but i thought that reason would be a joke!!But it still passed my rating because coffee bean cheesecake is still good,without the oreos:):)and of course because i am a NICE and GENEROUS guy.

One thing i recommend people to do whenever I am in airport with them is to view the departure tv and ask them if they are to choose,choose a flight that YOU will catch!!
Well,for this outing,something significant stood out!check it out!!a flight to MALE!!!

We had a good laugh!!I wonder why it is not reported in the papers!!I was trying to recall since when did SIA had a flight out of earth,all the way to Mars!!!lol.Anyway I m still wondering where this place is...

I had a great weekend,although Sunday have not arrived.Thank guys for the time and company!I really enjoyed it.This week,Im probably offline again due to training commitments!!Keep you guys updated.TWO more weeks to my last day as a TEEN!!:( BOOO....

The calm before the storm!

2009-04-14T21:03:00.004+08:00

I finally did what i set out to do last weekend! CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?I watched the show on Monday night with Sebastian!I like this kind of show that involve cars,speed and chicks!Men classic!I am so happy this week is just a week that you are comfortable in your room,and nobody disturbs you!I am actually enjoying it!The only down side is that Andre is out on course,so only Sebastian and i will be left alone in the company!:( Things will just get even more lonely once the 3 leave this place for a better somewhere!!

I was quite amazed when i read about the riots that are happening in Thailand.I think it is a case of international disgrace that this riot went all the way up to Pattaya,which is the meeting's venue itself!Let me give you scenerio more realistic to our daily lives.

Raymond is hosting this 20th Birthday in *STILL WONDERING WHICH MONTH AND DAY* at a restaurant.Then there is WXYZ,who doesn't like Raymond to the bones!He insist that Raymond should hold a party because WXYZ think Raymond is not growing older,but instead younger!To bring across his point,WXYZ stormed into the restaurant uninvited and created a scene!

Now,how does this reflect on the host of the party and BIRTHDAY BOY?Obviously,people will think he can't manage his own party and friends.Likewise,the image of the PM would be ruined!As tempting as it may be,don't even bother wondering how it will be like if such things happen in Singapore!Hahaha.

Thank God Man Utd won the match last week!Barely,but who cares?That Italian really did 'The Italian Job' literally!! I am impressed...However,in general,I am not too pleased in the manner they played the match!They lacked the drive and passion at times,just like how i seem to be in army,HAHA!Hey,but i do hope to believe that i still get job done!:)

I'm thinking of writing up on something so real in our lives, be it whether we are doing it,or we are being treated in that manner. It is :FAVOURISM! Stay tuned...

the fading teenage years

2009-04-11T23:15:00.003+08:00

I am sure you are wondering what this picture is all about!Well it is a picture which i found in one of my folders and I was just wondering who this fellow is!!Believe it or not,that was RAYMOND ONG LI MIN almost 18 years ago! *Please don't ask me what happened.AND i don't care if it is for the better or worse,HAHAHA*

-Try laying down with your clock(non digital) beside you and watch it.Look how the thing go tick tick tick,cross the longer 'finger' and realise how many minutes you have just wasted!-

I was SMASHED mercilessly by this HUGE hammer called 'REALITY' few days ago! 18 more days and i am gonna say goodbye to my teenage life! CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT!!!How can time fly so fast?TOO FAST!I don't think I am ready.That is how this world we live in works.It doesn't wait for anyone!Therefore,it is important to always equip ourselves to face whatever situation is thrown at us,because if we miss that opportunity,you will live to regret it.No,i'm not just talking in the realm of relationships,but in business decisions and even your daily lives.WHAT IF...there is a show called 'the curious case of Raymond Ong'. That would be the perfect birthday gift this year!SIGH.... As much as I will miss my teenage life,I think it has been a whole load of fun,and a huge learning curve for me,be it in relationships,trust,friendship and work!

I'm proud to have tried cheerleading once in my life!haha,yes,to some,this is a revelation about Raymond!

The tiring trainings,and the friends i made!

If your picture doesnt appear,that is only purely because i don't have it on my netbook!But in one way or another,you have been a great blessing in my teenage life.I will definitely not forget you and i want to thank you for the memories! I do hope you will be in my life in the coming years too!

Anyway,today i went to see the skin doctor at National Skin Center.Now that I m going to ORD and enter the next stage of my life,I decided getting rid of my pimples would be a great choice!I pray the medicine would work out just fine for me!:)

I took some quiet time alone this weekend,a lot of reflections,went through sharing sessions and I decided on something quite drastic!I will be the first to admit it will be tough,but I decided I will forgive and forget whatever happpened in the past week.I'm really not a person who can hold his hatred,cause it zap me off my bubbly joyful nature.I will take it as a lesson learnt,and a reminder as to how mean human beings can be to one another!

Lastly,I'm so proud of my New Media guys.They did exceedingly well in the launch of facebook.If u haven't join,you ought to.Its username is NDPeeps!Cute right?Good job guys!